A Masochistic Lesbian Submissive's Blog
For as long as I can remember I’ve been bad at sleeping. My parents quickly concluded it must be because my dad is a poor sleeper and that I inherited it from him, thanks dad, haha. So at first, when we still had these big massive radios I listened to Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter audiobooks. When I was around nine or ten Continue Reading →
We all think of our exes sometimes. Some have left a bigger impact than others but I believe the end of D/s and M/s dynamics generally leave a bigger, longer-lasting mark, even if they weren’t romantic. Sometimes I wonder how Lisa is doing and I think about what Lois might say to me. Now with all this time at home and nowhere to go I’m Continue Reading →
Content warning: dissociation, depression, suicidal thoughts. Before Covid-19 I walk into my Counsellor’s office and as we sit down we’re both smiling. There is a small, awkward silence; we never seem to know how to start these sessions so he asks me how I’m feeling. The answer to this question has mostly been the same for the past year. I don’t know; I’m not feeling Continue Reading →
Continuing where I left off at Part 1: Hot Queer Gay Party, I walked up to the unicorn board. A woman was looking at the board and taking some of the notes down. I think I said hi or perhaps she turned towards me because she noticed someone approaching. Once she saw me, her expression changed, as if she was very excited to have some Continue Reading →
Looking for kinky events to attend I came across this party and thought, that’s one I want to be at. The word hot could have been indicative of a good party but what caught my attention was the word, queer. As you’re well aware, I’m gay so what better place to meet other queers than at a queer party? However, the time of this party Continue Reading →
If you read my post Breaking into the scene? or Attending my first BDSM event you know I was anxious about attending play events or any kinky events for that matter. I freaked out on the Saturday before Sugar Kane, the fetish/play event I planned on going to. My thoughts spiralled, thinking I couldn’t do this and that it was even stupid of me to Continue Reading →
When Lois and I were still in this online M/s dynamic, I was living with one other flatmate who is also my friend (in fact, I still live with her atm). Lois and I never had a set schedule. She would come online at random times and random days. It was always different. But if she came online and we were suddenly having a session, Continue Reading →
As you know, I’ve struggled with my mental health since I was about 13 years old. I saw a psychiatrist for a little while when I was 16, but when it wasn’t helping I pretended I was ok so she’d let me go. It wasn’t until I started university that I felt I needed help and therefore, I went to the doctor in Wales. He gave me Continue Reading →
I was always a slim child. I loved running around, playing sports and I also dressed like a boy. It wasn’t a fashion choice as such, it was simply more comfortable and practical as my friends and I (only boys) weren’t the let’s stay quiet and indoors type. We liked to go on adventures. My two-year-younger sister preferred more ‘typical’ girl things. She liked to Continue Reading →
Buy a video of me stapling my vagina here | Buy a video of Mistress Stapling my vagina shut here Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There is a picture set available with this blog post. This idea wasn’t entirely fabricated by my Continue Reading →
I was in a relationship for a year when I was around 20. I met her during the second semester of my first year at university and we officially became a couple about one to two months after that. She was an exchange student at the time and we had to part in August because her studies started back up in Denmark. My ex was Continue Reading →
I am aware that this is a controversial topic and I believe it is for a good reason. It is important to have the age of consent to protect minors so that they cannot be taken advantage of and that is also why BDSM and kink are only allowed to be engaged in once you are 18+ (though the age of consent is different in Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There is a pictureset available with this blog post. Clothespins were one of the first things I used to experience some sort of submissive feeling and pain on my own. I don’t remember how I got Continue Reading →
Note: Laura experienced some difficulties in her life and unfortunately this project has therefore been paused indefinitely. As explained in a prior post, Laura and I are setting each other tasks and will be posting about how this went on our blogs. Laura fulfilled my first task and wrote about it here. On the bottom of this post, she wrote down the task for me, Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There is a picture set available with this post. I was in a masochistic mood the other day. I was still at my dad’s house so I didn’t really have any tools with me to inflict Continue Reading →
As you all know I will very shortly be caned for the first time; it’s tomorrow, in fact. Therefore, I thought it’d be good to finally write the post about when I got spanked for the first time, as the follow up will be a bit more extreme and might show some symbolic development compared to this post. I met my ex when I was Continue Reading →
Note: Laura experienced some difficulties in her life and unfortunately this project has therefore been paused indefinitely. Some of you probably know that I was quite a fan of PainSlutLois’ blog (not the Lois that trained me). She stopped posting a little while ago but linked to my and this other girl’s blog (Laura, Student Slave) quite recently, after which Laura and I started talking. Continue Reading →
You would not believe how often I received the response, “Why do you use the pill? You don’t need it.” (So often in fact that I’m worried all of you will go, ‘erm, yes… you don’t need the pill, you’re gay.’) Even more curious is that I don’t just get this question from men. Women also ask me why I need to use contraception as Continue Reading →
Mindset is an interesting thing. It is possible to talk about different kind of mindsets; mindset can mean whether or not you’re in the mood for sex, and mindset can mean your attitude. While it is called mind’set,’ a mindset is anything but set and can be changed as long as one is open to change and the mindset can be changed, for example, in Continue Reading →
For years, I struggled with the idea of my own existence. I didn’t want to be alive and didn’t think I should exist. I preferred to be invisible and part of that meant to never wear anything too nice. I admired women that looked fashionable from a distance, whether they were wearing make-up, trousers, skirts, dresses and/or heels. They seemed so confident and at peace Continue Reading →
April 2015 I can describe us with an endless list of songs. I can see her in everything she has ever talked about. She used to be my first thought in the morning and my last thought when I went to bed. She didn’t even leave me in my dreams. She was always there, with me, in my head, but hasn’t been with me for Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures and a full video available with this blog post. Last Thursday, I was in a very masochistic mood and I figured that the only way I’d get out of this was by torturing Continue Reading →
I’ve been dreaming of kinky shenanigans for yeaaars. And I mean years because while I’m only 24-years old, I knew I was into kink just as I entered secondary school. Of course, I was way too young to be allowed to be into kink and so I had to stick to my fantasies. Sometimes these fantasies would include me playing with dolls or lego and Continue Reading →
For once this is a post about the present, something I did last Sunday, rather than a recap of something I did in the past with Miss Lois. I own the lush remote control vibrator, which was useful because Miss Lois could control it from where she was but somehow I never yet wore it outside of my house. I wanted to go out to Continue Reading →
I’m going to start this post off with a little anecdote. I had a lot of internet friends when I was younger (guess I am part of the generation that literally grew up with the internet). And two of these friends and I were part of a bigger group of people that were making videos together. Not in person, we all lived in different countries. Continue Reading →
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