When Lois and I were still in this online M/s dynamic, I was living with one other flatmate who is also my friend (in fact, I still live with her atm). Lois and I never had a set schedule. She would come online at random times and random days. It was always different. But if she came online and we were suddenly having a session, it meant that I would disappear in my room for several hours with no explanation. I’m someone that tends to wake up at 8, far before my flatmate does, and then have my door open for my flatmate to come in whenever she wants. Needless to say, these random moments of disappearance were, if not suspicious, at the very least a bit weird.
This then became even stranger when my friend and I were both doing uni work in a public venue and Lois came online. I always felt compelled to respond to her messages immediately but constantly texting while being around someone else feels rude. Sometimes Lois wanted me to go to the toilet to take off my panties just after I’d gone to the toilet because I actually had to go. Going a second time this quickly seemed a bit odd. Sometimes she’d want to actually use me though, which meant I had to come up with an excuse to suddenly leave. Once when we were studying (though we weren’t depending on each other to be there), my friend had gone to get lunch for a minute and Miss Lois suddenly came online. I fled the building before my friend could return. I forgot to message her though so she was a little confused as to why I had left, haha.
My flatmate is also someone that likes to know things. She wants to know who I’m messaging (not in a controlling way, she just likes to know) and she’s very curious about the parcels I order. This was a little awkward when Lois told me to order a very large dildo which arrived in a long, tall package almost the length of me. The dildo wasn’t that tall but I guess companies don’t have perfectly sized packages? Additionally, my best friend sometimes sends me something, like an anal hook a few weeks ago, lol.
When I write these kinds of blogposts my flatmate sometimes just walks in (I mean usually she’s always welcome) and then sees me quickly closing tabs and photo’s etc. Once, I’d quickly put trousers and a top over my bodysuit because our landlord had come by and after he left we started talking. Something hurt in my crotch and I thought it was because I wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath my trousers so I told her I was going to change. We kind of don’t care about dressing in front of each other because we’re both girls but then when I opened the zipper of my trousers she said, “Oh, sexy!”
I looked down and to my horror realised I was still wearing the bodysuit and now she’d seen it! She’d never seen any of my sexy outfits before.
At some point, I started telling my flatmate that I wanted to have a self-pleasure moment when Lois came online and that was enough to keep her out. This excuse was plausible because we had talked about self-pleasure before and mentioned to each other the vibrators that we own. In fact, one time when I said it she was like: I was just thinking of doing the same! But then, of course, she was done in like 10-20 minutes while I wasn’t for at least 3 hours, lol. So if my sessions were lasting a long while, she’d still come and knock on my door while I might have been fully naked, tied to something with perhaps squirt in a bowl. Definitely not something I wanted her to see!
Eventually, I felt like I needed to have a more solid and consistent excuse for my random hours of absences. I decided to tell her that I had an online play partner. I didn’t really give her more of an explanation but I showed her the Lush, remote control vibrator and explained to her that it could be controlled from anywhere in the world, which I guess would make sense for online play partners to have?
I then wrote an essay on BDSM for one of our class assignments which probably didn’t help to hide my slave identity. Still, writing it on BDSM was the only way I could make that particular assignment useful and entertaining to me, lol. And if you just pretend nothing’s going on, what can people say?
Another time, my flatmate came into my room and told me about how she’d been re-reading this book of scary short stories, written for children. She asked me if I knew about the story that is called ‘The Girl with the Red Ribbon around her Neck.’
I didn’t.
Me: “But you know what that makes me think of? That she must be choked to death.”
My Flatmate: “Wow you’re really into BDSM already.”
And I was like… ??!!! “The title of the story is ‘The Girl with the Red Ribbon around HER NECK.”
(I mean. Even someone that isn’t into BDSM would have come to that conclusion right? The title completely alludes to it.)
She then told me that the girl died, in fact, in a much more horrific way and then explained the full story to me. Right at that moment, Lois came online- following a loud ping notifying us both of a new message. I saw her eyes glance over at my laptop screen. Thankfully, I didn’t have that tab open and replied to Lois on my phone, feeling, of course, absolutely compelled to reply to her right that instance. As a result, I didn’t process anything that my flatmate was telling me and was kind of hoping she’d leave as quickly as possible.
Eventually, one night when it was close to midnight I felt brave enough to text her the following:
“Hey, this was probably quite obvious already and if not, this at the very least won’t be surprising but I just want to let you know so that you don’t have to guess or wonder or whatever, but I am into BDSM.”
I went to sleep afterwards and as usual, woke up before she did and received a message back around 10 AM.
“Hahaha I had figured but thanks for telling me.”
I think this is the first person I ever told who is not at least a little bit into kink herself. So I guess that’s a new step, huh? Though since my confession I’ve got out of her that she’s interested in spanking and the idea of being choked. I went to a rope 101 workshop and showed her a picture of being tied and she asked me what it felt like. I suggested I could try it on her and she said yes.
I have since told her about the caning I did with Miss Sultry Belle (and showed her the marks) and tried on the white underwear and crotchless fishnet stockings right in front of her, as she pointed out it doesn’t matter when we see each other naked and most importantly, she wanted to see it due to her curious nature, lol.
So now she has also seen and given her opinion on possible outfits I could wear to play events and I’m sure that if I were to get into a new dynamic with a Mistress, I’d feel more than comfortable telling her.
Xx ML
Sounds great, yet another person close to you who you don’t have to try to hide your kinky side from. It feels wonderful, doesn’t it.
“Not even a little bit into kink herself but interested in spanking and choking…” A bit contradictory, that one, haha. I wonder how long it will take before the two of you start playing… She may not be into hardcore kinky stuff, but the way you describe your interactions, I think it could lead to some fun for both of you.
Certainly does feel wonderful!
We will not be playing. Some friendships are just good as friendships!
I do hope to inspire her. Not even necessarily for kink but she wants many things but is too scared to even consider the idea of trying and she knows how anxious I am but I do it regardless and get something good out of it, so hopefully she’ll also get the urge to do the things she’s scared of because it makes life so much better when you step over that fear
YESSS! Exactly, in some ways my own wife is like that, she is hard to persuade (scared, anxious, embarrassed, whatever) to try new stuff. I certainly don’t share her inhibitions.
I hope your friend will allow you to give her a little push here and there. Going to munches is a significant step.
Dear Marie Louise,
It is liberating to come out to those around you, isn’t it? There is, of course, always the risk that someone is immature enough (at any age) to use it against you, but otherwise, unless a person is guided by religious dogma or is very conservative for other reasons, my experience has been that people are either supportive, or just don’t really care what you get up to in your spare time.
You wrote a post about breaking into the scene, but having anxiety about going alone. At the time I thought: What about your best friend? But he is not living near you anymore, is he?
Reading this post makes it sound like your flatmate could be your moral support to have tag along to events. At least those where spanking and choking might be going on.
All the best,
Henrik
It certainly is! I know who I can tell and who I can’t tell and I’m generally just more open nowadays.
Yes, my best friend isn’t living near me anymore and he feels similar anxiety over attending these events.
I took my flatmate to one munch and she felt super anxious and wanted to leave throughout haha so… I’m the more confident one here so I am the emotional support which doesn’t work if I need it I guess haha.
It’s fine though, I have gone alone and it was fine and really nice after the first initial hours of awkwardness and anxiety. I’m really glad I did it!