Trying to dig up feelings. Fighting dissociation

I’m fairly confident I have mentioned this before, but if you’re new here, I didn’t really enjoy orgasms or touching myself for a long, long time. A friend once encouraged me to get a vibrator and to start self-pleasuring, pointing out how important and healthy this was. After getting past the initial embarrassment, I followed her advice but I didn’t like it at all. I tried different things and I just didn’t get it. What was this thing called orgasms Continue Reading →

Reclaiming Agency over Depression, Eliminating Bad Habits

(Tomorrow on my usual Saturday post day, I’m finally continuing to blog about my time with Miss Lois also, but I was really interested in writing for this week’s SB4MH prompt, so here’s an extra post on Friday, as Sunday is now taken by Sinful Sunday!) Depression has a lot of invisible to the outside world side-effects that I imagine people often feel ashamed about, and therefore walk around with it alone. I know I felt ashamed. I want to Continue Reading →

Locked in my Self-Devised Predicament

Last Thursday, I was in a very masochistic mood and I figured that the only way I’d get out of this was by torturing myself in one way or another. I’ve used the attempt to force several orgasms quite a lot but I wanted something better, something more torturous, somehow. I remember PainSlutLois’ post about a predicament she put herself in for 8 hours, and thought, if she could set it up for herself, surely I can do something smaller too. Continue Reading →

MLSlavePuppet’s Christmas Advent Calendar

Just about a week ago, I received a new Black Ruffle Mini Skirt and Crotchless Tartan Briefs in the post. I didn’t really know if I was going to like these things. Past me would have certainly shaken her head in disbelief and absolute certainty that this would look ridiculous on me. Turns out, it’s not that bad. At least, it isn’t when you’re trying to take fun pictures (wearing them at any other time would be slightly more questionable, Continue Reading →

H is for Headstand with a Twist

Half an H H is for headstand I didn’t know I was capable of doing that Only worked on the first try- 10-second camera timer! Following Sinful Sunday Week 541’s prompt: the letter H I did also turn it into an H, but I liked the original better. Click on the lips below to see all the other blogger’s great pictures!

My Coming Out Story

I never saw my sexuality as anything that was connected to kink. I knew that I was into BDSM and identified as a submissive of some sorts far before I ever started questioning my sexuality. But funnily, it’s through the start of a D/s ‘relationship’ that I finally admitted and acknowledged to myself that I am a lesbian, which happened somewhere around when I was 16 or 17. When I turned 16, some kinky and BDSM related sites finally became Continue Reading →

My Kinky Fantasies

I’ve been dreaming of kinky shenanigans for yeaaars. And I mean years because while I’m only 24-years old, I knew I was into kink just as I entered secondary school. Of course, I was way too young to be allowed to be into kink and so I had to stick to my fantasies. Sometimes these fantasies would include me playing with dolls or lego and making up some kinky story in which the main character, based on me, duh, would Continue Reading →

NEW Question! Interested in a Christmas Card from me?

Sorry guys, only had 6 ‘yes’ responses (and no ‘no’ at all?) but that doesn’t reach the minimum of 10 🙁 Maybe next year? 🙂   I took another few pictures today, hehe. And as I was going through them I thought, wouldn’t it be so much fun to make a Christmas card with one of these and send them to my best friend? But then I thought, what if other people would be interested too? And I would like Continue Reading →

It takes one glance

First time participating in Sinful Sunday. For some reason, I thought I couldn’t participate in it because I’m mostly writing, but that’s not true. I love taking pictures. Here’s to more Sinful Sundays! Xx MLSlavePuppet (Yes, I did make a full photoshoot out of this. All pictures can be found here and will be uploaded over the next few days: https://onlyfans.com/9288279/mlslavepuppet)    

Wearing the Lush remote control vibrator outside

For once this is a post about the present, something I did last Sunday, rather than a recap of something I did in the past with Miss Lois. I own the lush remote control vibrator, which was useful because Miss Lois could control it from where she was but somehow I never yet wore it outside of my house. I wanted to go out to buy a chain, which they sell in a local home-supply store so I decided I Continue Reading →

Dreaming of being Collared

I’m going to start this post off with a little anecdote. I had a lot of internet friends when I was younger (guess I am part of the generation that literally grew up with the internet). And two of these friends and I were part of a bigger group of people that were making videos together. Not in person, we all lived in different countries. My friends ran the group and had added me even though I was quite adamant Continue Reading →

Part 2: Did my friend manage to come a second time just by reading my and Miss Lois’ conversation?

My friend: “I just came….”
(Lmao how the hell did he come without touching himself and only by reading our conversation???)
Continue Reading →

Part 1: A shared chat with Miss Lois and my best friend

Miss Lois, my best friend and I entered a chat group with just the three of us. She told him that he wasn’t allowed to speak in here unless directly asked to, and that he wasn’t allowed to touch himself at any point, but that if he did without touching himself, it would be a massive compliment to me! Continue Reading →

A Chore made a Task

This is a very short post (being published on a Sunday for that reason), and this report was in fact already published on Fetlife. I am posting it here too because it’s going to be relevant to the post that will be published next Wednesday. I complained to Miss Lois how I had to call a call centre to fix a certain problem I had with ordering some pair of shoes that Miss Lois had told me to get. I Continue Reading →

Double Insertion

This day, she told me to get naked, put on my boos and to insert a vibrator in each of my holes and to turn them on max. I asked her if I was allowed to use a blanket or something, and she allowed me to lie in bed after I shower her a picture of me first. Continue Reading →

WordPress.com Site Suspended

Hi guys, Some of you might have noticed that my blog was offline and can no longer be accessed on its original address which used to be mlslavepuppet.video.blog. Since you are here, you know it’s now mlslavepuppet.com (which is much nicer to be fair). Apparently I violated WordPress’ terms of services even though it states that nudity is allowed. However, they did allow me to download my content so I could take it here, to self-hosting and after quite a Continue Reading →

Coping with the upcoming holidays

Halloween has passed and somehow that means it is now time for Christmas, starting on the 1st of November. THAT IS 54 days until Christmas day. It essentially means that ‘we’ dedicate almost 2 months to Christmas. 2 MONTHS! That is how much ‘we’ all love Christmas, but I’m not one of the people that does… Continue Reading →

A Gift, and a Little Photoshoot

I take all of my pictures myself. I either use my phone and a remote control or my Canon camera with a 10-second timer. You can imagine that this makes it quite difficult to do a proper photoshoot. When using the Canon, I don’t know if the light is good, nor the focus once I’m in front of the camera and it’s quite tricky (and a bit stressful haha) when the 10-second timer starts beeping and I have to rush into position! Continue Reading →

Embarrassing positions

She then told me to take a picture of myself in the most humiliating position that I could think off… which… I hate this. Having to come up with positions myself because I’m not sure what’s embarrassing exactly because I don’t always feel certain positions as embarrassing. Additionally having to think of one myself makes me worry because what if it’s not good enough? Continue Reading →

And then my best friend got in contact with Miss Lois

During one of Miss Lois and my conversations, she suggested that it might be interesting to have a three-way chat with the both of us and my friend sometime and that she wanted to know my opinion on that. Continue Reading →

Part 3: Clit torture: Dragon’s blood XXX Ultra Hot Sauce…

Miss Lois: “Be careful with the sauce. You have tried it earlier so you know.”
I mean… I guess I knew but I was also very naive and just not really there with my brain? All I knew is that I wanted to please her and that probably meant using more sauce rather than less. Continue Reading →

Part 2: Squirting through a Speculum

She told me to replace the butt plug in my vagina with the speculum. It didn’t really want to go in… It wasn’t necessarily that much bigger but it was shaped differently? And the small tip of the butt plug helped with pushing it in. But I managed to push it in by forcing it in despite the pain. Continue Reading →

My Mental Illness: depression and dissociation and their relationship with my slave identity and kinky lifestyle

I have been following the site of Sex Bloggers for Mental Health for a while, intending to follow one of their writing prompts but forget to / am too busy to actually do it in the right week. However, I feel like I sometimes mention that my mental health is a bit meh in my ‘normal’ blog posts without ever having explained anything about my mental health to you. Therefore I thought it might be appropriate to take last week’s Continue Reading →

Part 1: Stylish shoelaces and planned outfits

I guess you’re wondering what this has to do with kink but one of the things Miss Lois told me to order at some point were specific shoelaces, which partly excited me and partly caused me to feel anxious because oh my god, another exterior change for the public to see! Continue Reading →

Punishment: The day I drank out of a toilet (#1)

Miss Lois: “‘As long as I can be useful to someone, even in the future, I have a purpose.’ This is your slave motto. Whenever we start a conversation, you type this after saying ‘Hello Miss’. I don’t want you to copy paste it. I want you to memorise and write it. The punishment for forgetting will be you peeing in the toilet and slurping some of the wee from the bowl.” Continue Reading →

Conquering fear: Attending my first BDSM event

I used to be afraid of accepting the BDSM/kinky part of myself without truly knowing that I was afraid. I always knew that I was into BDSM and that I wanted to live my life in that lifestyle with someone I could submit to. I absolutely believed in this. I never doubted this. It was way more certain than my sexuality until I figured out I was gay. Yet, I didn’t know I was a slave until Miss Lois truly started helping me open up and exploring this identity of mine. Continue Reading →

Task: Epilator for pussy

Miss Lois once asked me to sketch her a scenario / write her a story about a girl that wanted to be a slave and was starting her training. (I mean, this was obviously about me even though I started writing it as if it was about a random person, after which I was specifically told that this was about me.) Continue Reading →

Feeling like a good slave: Elastic bands and Candle wax

The first thing I did when I got home was take off my clothes. Usually I then put on comfy clothes, but I decided to not to as I suspected I might have to take them off shortly anyway. Miss Lois asked me to show her my room with pictures and afterwards I snuggled up comfortably in my warm bed. Only for her to tell me to get up 5 minutes later. Continue Reading →

That time when my best friend tied me to the bed with ginger up my butt

Miss Lois: “I was wondering if you could ask your friend to use the under the bed restraints on you and leave you for an extended period of time alone, tied up like that. So that you can have some feeling of being restrained. You can return the favour, of course.” Continue Reading →

Task: Squirt at 3 AM every night

Once I got a Fitbit, Miss Lois could look into my sleep pattern and as it turned out, I seemed to wake up around 3 AM most nights. This helped her decide on the outline of a new task: to wake up every night at 3 AM (without an alarm, my body had to know that I had to) and to masturbate until I squirted. I would only be allowed to go to sleep afterwards and was to send a picture with a small report on how it went in the morning. Continue Reading →

Compliments and attention are good

Halfway through my training, Miss Lois also started making a point of how compliments are positive. I suppose I struggled to accept compliments because I never felt like I was good enough or doing good enough. It can always be better, right? I also didn’t like attention and receiving a compliment felt like receiving attention. Continue Reading →

A small Christmas gift

I don’t remember how or why I thought of this, but I thought it’d be fun and nice idea to wish Miss Lois a happy Christmas by writing it on my body and taking a picture of my naked body. I wanted it to be a bit more special though and not only write it with a black marker. So I went to the shops and looked for coloured marker pens, which were luckily fairly easy to find. Continue Reading →

Fun in Mum’s attic

I looked around the attic… my mum has many, many things that are partly packed in a lot of boxes and partly just shoved aside and hidden in drawers and such. I had no idea what we were looking for so I started sending Miss Lois pictures of everything. The shelves, the inside of drawers, boxes etc. I sent her about 30 different pictures. To the best of my knowledge, none of the items were useful in any way. Continue Reading →

Training: vaginal insertion

Miss Lois: “Insert one index finger in your vagina, completely to the knuckle. Then show me a picture. Then insert the marker at least halfway into the vagina (you can take your finger out if you want). Take a picture again. You’re only allowed to take the pads out after you’ve taken the second picture.” Continue Reading →

Going bra-less

Back when I was 18, I met Lisa, a Mistress, on Collarspace. (I address her as Lisa, as I never called her Miss while we were talking.) She was very interested in exploring my mind and loved that I was so inexperienced in every way and embarrassed and shy about my kinky feelings. It made it very easy to activate my submissive side, I guess. Continue Reading →

Kinky Budget

I don’t like to spend money on things I don’t have to spend money on. I feel kind of guilty for spending money on ‘unnecessary’ things because I’m a student and don’t earn a lot and living is expensive. Continue Reading →

Task: Write about torture for 10 minutes straight

I was at a friend’s house when Miss Lois messaged me. We were just chilling and sort of doing our own things, so it wasn’t too difficult to reply to Miss Lois. She was suddenly very interested in my type (which my friend also always are but I don’t really think I have a type?) (Apart from my type being women, lmao.) (And dominant, haha.) Continue Reading →

Hi, dear readers!

I just wanted to say a quick thank you for your support and all the nice messages I’ve received. It’s really nice to know that you’re enjoying these posts and find them educational too, sometimes. I’m writing all these posts because I want to, but knowing people enjoy them gives me even more motivation. As you might have noticed, I posted a post every day throughout most of August. I had holidays and was pretty bored so I had the Continue Reading →

M/s dynamic to help manage depression

I struggle quite a bit with depression and often wrote Miss Lois when I was doing poorly. She wasn’t always there to reply and I didn’t expect her to. It was just nice to have a safe space to leave my thoughts, I guess. In the night, I had been sending her messages about how I was feeling. Then in the morning, she came online and asked me how I was doing. Continue Reading →

Learning how to walk in stilettos

One of the things that had a lot of importance from the start of our dynamic were heels. Naturally, I never wore them, used them or really owned many. I guess you’d have a field day if you enjoy training someone. How many women don’t know how to walk in heels? lol. Continue Reading →

Task: wear nail polish for 10 days

I hated wearing nail polish. Miss Lois had mentioned nail polish before and I had told her about my dislike. Of course I knew that now it had been mentioned it couldn’t be long before I had to wear it, but one always keeps hoping that the day is never today. Continue Reading →

Penetrating the Mind

During my training there’d sometimes be periods where I didn’t need to be punished at all and then suddenly there’d be a streak of instances where I didn’t obey (although it was often a mistake, rather than that I didn’t obey on purpose). Continue Reading →

Learning how to pose / Creating a Fetlife profile

Every time I took a picture for Miss Lois, she said that she wanted me to smile, since I never did. Rather, I looked either uncomfortable, angry or sad… or something, lol. Which is kind of a picture ruiner when the rest looks pretty good… or so I was told. Continue Reading →

Task: Pee in a bowl, and then a spider appeared!!

She tried to force it out of me by saying how I was a slave and that slaves do as they are told. Usually when she starts demanding it immediately I am more likely to do it sooner. Yet… this didn’t seem to work now. Then I saw a spider. A FUCKING SPIDER! In the corner of my room. It wasn’t a small one. I interrupted my task. I was… well… Continue Reading →

Task: Tiger balm on the clit

Miss Lois often surprised me with the ideas she came up with, or the tools she managed to find when I wasn’t at my home where I have my toys. It wasn’t any different when she asked me if my mum had any tiger balm at home. In my memory, tiger balm had always been something for muscle pain. I had no idea why she wanted me to get that… Continue Reading →

A Choice: Wearing the heels, or stones in flat shoes

You will wear the heels all day and go outside in them while meeting a friend. For every day that you don’t, you will wear the stones in your shoes and this will continue for as long as it takes until you wear the heels for the day. Continue Reading →

Getting used to addressing her as Miss

I never liked the idea of addressing a Mistress by any sort of title. It was one of the things I actively rejected. When I was 14-16, I used to read a lot of erotic stories on the internet and I disliked how in all of them, the submissives had to use titles to address their Dommes / as well as the names the submissives were given (like slut and such). Continue Reading →