A Masochistic Lesbian Submissive
Mistress Roxy has been my Mistress since midway 2020 after we met at a Fetish event in February. Due to the pandemic, we were unable to meet during the first lockdown and engaged in online tasks instead. We used it to get to know each other better until restrictions eased. Since then, we have been able to meet in person and our dynamic has grown.
I am her Slave and she is my Mistress first and foremost privately, but we also work together professionally. We have made several custom videos as Slave Mila and Mistress Roxy and run Carnal Productions together. We also do pro sessions.
The party at which Mistress used the nipple bucket clamps on me is the longest one I attended without going to bed. It started at 10 pm and we left at 4 pm the next day. I got to play loads and had a great time; people even got to take shot glasses from my vagina. At one point in the night when most people Continue Reading →
A few weeks ago, I knew Mistress would briefly pop by on her way home so I made sure to shower and clean the dishes. I had no idea when she was coming, so I thought I might as well do the vaginal training early (by which I mean 3 pm, as opposed to 10 pm). I put a towel down, set up my phone Continue Reading →
A few months ago, Mistress said she’d seen a pair of nipple clamps with small buckets and was very interested in getting them. When I went online to buy some toys for myself, I asked her where she’d seen them, thinking I could buy a pair. Unfortunately, the shipping costs were more expensive than the clamps themselves and I said that we might have to Continue Reading →
Since January, I’ve been back in a bad sleeping cycle and nightmares have been plaguing me. For a little while, I thought it had gotten better but I’ve had to start wearing my football tops again to mitigate night sweats (pro tip, if you’re waking up from sweating excessively at night). As a result of my worsening nights, I’m struggling to start my day and Continue Reading →
On Sunday, I finally got to see Mistress again after a little over two weeks. We celebrated the holidays separately and by the time New Years came around she was unlucky enough to catch Covid again. As a result, we didn’t speak as much as we usually do either, so I was very excited to see her in person again. On Saturday, she suggested 3pm Continue Reading →
As you may know, Mistress gave me the task to train myself to be able to insert vaginally. I have been doing this task daily for almost two months and managed to go up quite successfully in dildo size. I’m genuinely surprised that I’m being successful. I can actually move a dildo inside of my vaginally without pain, even if the initial insertion still hurts. Continue Reading →
Content warning: needle play. Two years ago, I published a blog post on this site about dreading the holidays. This year, I am relieved to say I am feeling rather different. I am spending Christmas in the UK with my friends at the manor, just like last year. Whereas last year, The Baron and Bella invited me since circumstances were so strange (lockdown) (of course Continue Reading →
I went over to Mistress’ flat the other day when she told me with a glimmer in her eye that she had bought a new toy. I asked her what it was and she said it was a stick. “A cane? But we already have a cane?” “Not this kind; I’ll go and get it for you.” Her excitement partly scared me and was otherwise Continue Reading →
Last week I had the pleasure of attending my graduation ceremony in person. It was the first graduation ceremony at my University since the pandemic and I’m very lucky it coincided with the end of my degree. While I knew it was going to take place, I didn’t know if I wanted to attend for a while. If you’re a regular reader of my blog Continue Reading →
About two weeks ago, I started a daily vaginal training task that Mistress has given me. As you all know, I don’t like vaginal penetration and tend to avoid it if I can. Insertion generally hurts me, no matter how small the object. I would never even use tampons for example and I think it’s save to say I probably have vaginismus. Mistress likes things Continue Reading →
In my blog posts, I have mentioned before that I sometimes struggle with addressing Roxy as Mistress, because I second-guess myself and wonder if I’m really allowed to. Or, whether I’m a weird person by saying so. In recent months, I have mostly overcome this struggle and always reply to questions with the appropriate title. However, I’d become so used to also calling her Roxy, Continue Reading →
In the lead up to Mistress’ birthday, she mentioned that she had always wanted to put birthday candles on her human slave. I didn’t understand how it would work, as I couldn’t envision the candles staying upright. And so she explained that we’d use needles of course, and that I was going to be her human birthday cake. The thought filled me with joy because she Continue Reading →
A week or so ago, Mistress and I stayed in Kent for a little over a week with our good friend Lady Amber. We were there to do sessions and have a catch up, which included watching several horror movies at night. I ended up feeling ready for bed far earlier than they did, however and so I asked if we could sort the sleeping arrangements. Continue Reading →
On Friday morning I had a video call with Dilan and Roxy, and not long after we finished, I went to the shop. The store in question is less than a five minute walk from my flat and when I walked back into my street I thought I saw Roxy’s silhouette at the end of it. I thought about it for a moment. Surely that Continue Reading →
Previous task “Cook yourself an elaborate and delicious 3 course meal of your choice. Find recipes for me to approve if it’s elaborate and special enough. When you eat it, wear something nice so you feel good.” A poor diet When the day came to do this task, I felt a massive dread to execute it. I’ve been struggling to eat healthy over the past Continue Reading →
Roxy recently moved flats and very enthusiastically showed me her new four poster bed when I came over for the first time. She suggested that this bed would be great for play, and I remember thinking: I’m sure it would be… and pictured the different positions she might put me in. On my third visit to her new flat, I brought along a bondage restraint that I Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Send me a letter with the A4 sheet you wrote out in it.” When I was a teenager, most of my friends lived on the internet. I was incredibly close to them and since there was a big distance between us, I would sometimes write letters or send postcards because it’s fun to receive something physical in the mail. Getting Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Pee into a bowl. Balance the bowl on your foot and balance on one leg. If it drops in under a minute, lick it off the floor.” I feel like this task was set up with the intention that I would fail. While the same seemed to be true for the line writing task, this one held slightly bigger stakes. Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Fill an a4 sheet with the line ‘I worship and adore my mistress’ whilst balancing a 10 pence piece from your writing hand. Every time it drops you have a Talley of 10 self spanks for every time it falls, deliver yourself the spanks straight after the sheet if full.” I spoke on the phone to Roxy when she first Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Put on your white pants and pee yourself.” I have been spending a few days with my friends up in the countryside and this evening we were catching the last of that day’s sun with a drink in the garden. I hadn’t been putting this task off, but when I’m with people I feel more self-conscious about having to take Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “The task was to write the word mistress with the pen up your butt not the word mistress onto your butt. So now your arse looks like a target with my name on it. Literally. Well, I suppose there’s gonna have to be a forfeit. Self-flagellation with nettles. Enjoy.” I went outside and first came across plants that looked like Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Write the word Mistress with a pen up your butt.” The way I read this task was “write the word Mistress with a pen” and “up your butt”. It didn’t make sense to me to write the word up my butt so I presumed my Mistress must mean write it on your butt. I asked Naomi if she wanted to Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Get some nettles and use them with the training dildo in your butt.” This task surprised me and was a little expected at the same time. A while ago, Mistress said she would like to use a strap on with nettles because I dislike vaginal penetration so much. (If this is your first time on my blog, I like things Continue Reading →
Previous task | Next task “Put clothes pegs on the labia and use your wand.” Just after waking up I put the pegs on my labia while my music was still playing, then walked back to my computer to turn the music off. As I walked over I started to feel a slight burning sensation around my labia and wondered what the hell was going Continue Reading →
Previous Task | Next Task “Stand with your head and elbows against the wall on your tiptoes for 10 minutes.” Like the last task, the time it took to execute was very minimal. I expected this position to be strenuous because I’ve often done this stretch of standing on the toes for fitness purposes and it’s not pleasant! Stress position I set a timer on Continue Reading →
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