Last Thursday, I was in a very masochistic mood and I figured that the only way I’d get out of this was by torturing myself in one way or another. I’ve used the attempt to force several orgasms quite a lot but I wanted something better, something more torturous, somehow. I remember PainSlutLois’ post about a predicament she put herself in for 8 hours, and thought, if she could set it up for herself, surely I can do something smaller too.
I have a lot of different toys and tools now and know which things I dislike, lol. I had also been interested in having some sort of very tight crotch rope attached to something higher up and finally figured out how I could make it work. There aren’t really any high points in this house that I can attach things to, but then I thought of using the bar in my wardrobe- you know the one you hang your clothes on. And if I just kneeled and was close enough to it, then it could become a tight crotch rope.
The rope would obviously go under my legs and would be pulled up and tied around my hair in such a way that my head would be forced backwards, meaning that if I’d want to look up, it’d be very uncomfortable. I wanted to insert my inflatable butt plug also in combination with the Lush vibrator, as when the butt plug is inflated enough and the vibrator is on, it really makes me struggle to stand.
I figured that I could keep my knees spread by using my spreader bar on my knees, rather than my ankles and since I hate nipple clamps, I felt like I should use them too. The ones with the chain specifically, so the chain could go around the rope, meaning if I’d lean back they’d get pulled. Additionally, it seemed like a good idea to put something gross on my ballgag. I didn’t have any hot sauce (apart from the hot, hot sauce which I will never use on my own), so used wasabi instead.
Lastly, I pulled my chain through the planks underneath my bed, which are kept in place by the mattress on top of it, and tie my wrists behind my back with the chain, which I would then lock in place with my timed lock. I thought locking myself in for an hour would be a good experiment.
The worst part about any task, photoshoot or when you have to dress is getting naked. I hate being cold so much and until the kinky activity is happening, it’s cold. (This is less of a problem in summer, lol.) I started by inserting the vibrator (still painful) and turning it on, and then put the plug in my butt and inflated it for a while. I then paused, trying to figure out the most logical next step and I never really found it. I just guessed and hoped for the best.
I had already draped the rope over the bar in my wardrobe, which was now within reach and had also prepared the chain attached to my bed with the timed lock next to it. I attached the spreader bar to my knees and then started putting the crotch rope in place until I realised that once my head would be pulled back, I would have a hard time putting on my gag and the nipple clamps. I especially wanted to postpone the nipple clamps… but I couldn’t, really.
I first put the gag with wasabi in my mouth, which, turns out wasabi is just really really gross. I knew I didn’t like it but ew. Then I attached the clamps, for each nipple I made my usual pained noise because nipple clamps! I tried to do the crotch rope quickly, very conscious of how much longer this hour could get if I wasn’t going to be able to do this fast. I didn’t manage to get it attached to my hair properly. I know that PainSlutLois did it with a braid, but I lose track when I start braiding my hair. I’m really bad at it so I wasn’t going to attempt that. Instead, I figured I could attach it to my ballgag harness, as it was more than just a ballgag.
I found a really good tight, painful and uncomfortable point that would surely make me struggle a lot but I was a tiny little inch short of being able to reach the chain with my arms far enough to actually attach the lock. I’m sure if a Mistress had been here she could have done it, but I couldn’t push through that much pain to lock it in place, although I tried for a painstakingly long time (imo).
I had to undo the crotch rope a little bit and then somehow move a little backwards and redid it. I didn’t manage to get it as perfectly tight as before, but it still seemed pretty decent. Because it had all been taking so long I decided to change the time on the lock to 45 minutes instead, as I was afraid of keeping the nipple clamps on for too long (just my fear of that kind of pain, really). I clicked the lock shut and pressed the button. Five beeps, five last seconds to change my mind and then it was locked in place.
I tested my position by letting some of my weight come down, then tried pulling my head up and leaning backwards. Leaning down obviously made the crotch rope more painful, and so did raising my head. Leaning forwards gave relief from most things, except it made the chain around my wrists hurt. Leaning backwards gave me some relief from the vibrations of the vibrator (not sure why, but it worked for me), but then the chain of the nipple clamps would pull on my nipples.
The thing that became uncomfortable the quickest was the way my head was pulled backwards. My neck was not a fan, haha. Of course, I then started pulling my head up, which, as the predicament dictated, caused my crotch to burn more, especially in combination with the vibrator, as insertion there is just forever going to be sensitive for me. Pulling my head forwards also meant that spit started dripping and I realised I’d forgotten to put a towel down, oops.
The tight crotch rope had one more effect though, which wasn’t what I had intended. Because it was so tight, I barely noticed the butt plug and so the usual effect of the butt plug in combination with the vibrator fell away.
In fact, the entire predicament situation just kind of made my mind go woah what’s going on? And so all the individual things, including the nipple clamps, didn’t seem as bad anymore. While I was trapped, I felt like I should have done a better job at being more sadistic. But then I guessed the fact that I was now simply stuck and wished I could change something about the situation was amusing in and of itself.
Another thing that didn’t work out was that the ball gag harness didn’t stay in place. I don’t know if that’s because I didn’t make it tight enough (I mean, I doubt it?) or because I had attached the rope to it, but it kind of fell apart. It didn’t literally fell off, but the top bit did, meaning it wasn’t as hard for me to pull my head up now, which was a shame… I guess, lol.
Nevertheless, it started to feel like quite a long time being in this predicament around the 30th minute. (I know because I was filming it with my phone which was in front of me and (blessed!) showed me the time. I was coping less well with the vibrations of the vibrator and my knees were feeling quite painful.
The more time passed, the more often I started changing position, changing from leaning forwards to backwards, keeping my head held back and then up again. It kind of depended on the vibrations, to be honest. I had put Lush on this looped pattern I’d made, which sometimes stopped, suddenly became more intense and all other fun things. And while my nipples had been mostly okay since after the first 10 minutes that they’d been on, the pain started coming back quite intensely nearer to the end.
I was holding out… holding out… holding out… and then suddenly, a single beep told me the lock could be removed now. It didn’t take me long, but moving beyond that seemed less desirable so took me a bit longer. I struggled to get the ballgag thing off because somehow it suddenly no longer made sense to me how the little belt things worked. I really wanted to get that taste of wasabi out my mouth (spoiler alert: it wouldn’t despite eating things afterwards!)
I removed the crotch rope after, which is quite painful somehow, rather than a relief. And then the clamps… god do I hate removing them. I opted to take both of them off at the same time. I figured I’d only be in pain once then and when I did it, it was, as usual, accompanied by my usual pained noise.
I pulled my body up by pushing myself off the floor with my hands because my knees needed a little bit of time, having been in that position for so long and moved a little bit to grab my wand. I kept the spreader bar on and the plug and vibrator inserted. No matter what we did, Miss Lois would always order me to make myself come afterwards (I dreaded having to do it half of the time, purely out of exhaustion and it didn’t use to be that pleasurable for me), but now, I’m so used to it, and I liked the idea of making myself do thing I don’t like, but I also felt like I wanted an orgasm.
It didn’t take that long… I mean… it never does, lol. The vibrator slipped out, causing quite a lot of pain and as soon as it fell out I squirted all over my floor on which I’d forgotten to put a towel, still! and not long after, the orgasm came.
I then got myself out of the spreader bar, deflated the butt plug and took it out. I went to the toilet first, thinking I’d clean everything up after but when I returned to my room was hit by exhaustion. I tried to force myself to do some cleaning but eventually gave up, dressed and cuddled up under two blankets and a heated blanket in my bed.
I didn’t know how exhausting this had been, or intense? until afterwards. I remember thinking I hadn’t made this sadistic enough, but the after effect certainly seemed to suggest differently. It kind of felt like my brain wasn’t working properly either, but it was all fine. I was happy under my heated blanket. Tired, but content. I think it took 2 hours before I kind of came back to life, which was when it had become bedtime, haha.
So, I think I’d like to do this again or think of another predicament I can put myself in. If I attempt this one again though, there are certain things I will make more sadistic, but for a first trial run, I think this was pretty good.
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