The End of Lois

Previous Post While I have tried to document the entirety of this dynamic, I didn’t want to write about it anymore. I’ve captured most of it and there are only a few tasks/sessions missing here and there. A few days before the dynamic ended, Lois set me the task in which I’d have to orgasm before I was allowed to use the toilet during the Continue Reading →

Changing Connections

Some people are afraid of getting older but what I’m really afraid of is a certain kind of change that comes with the passing of time. You can be the closest of friends with someone, which feels so secure that you think it will always last, but time passes and things change. Either the people themselves change or the situation around them changes and what Continue Reading →

Yearning for Rules

We all think of our exes sometimes. Some have left a bigger impact than others but I believe the end of D/s and M/s dynamics generally leave a bigger, longer-lasting mark, even if they weren’t romantic. Sometimes I wonder how Lisa is doing and I think about what Lois might say to me. Now with all this time at home and nowhere to go I’m Continue Reading →

Old Ghosts Return

Content warning: dissociation, depression, suicidal thoughts. Before Covid-19 I walk into my Counsellor’s office and as we sit down we’re both smiling. There is a small, awkward silence; we never seem to know how to start these sessions so he asks me how I’m feeling. The answer to this question has mostly been the same for the past year. I don’t know; I’m not feeling Continue Reading →

“You Can Breathe” | Letting go and Moving forward

April 2015 I can describe us with an endless list of songs. I can see her in everything she has ever talked about. She used to be my first thought in the morning and my last thought when I went to bed. She didn’t even leave me in my dreams. She was always there, with me, in my head, but hasn’t been with me for Continue Reading →

Losing a Mistress… Losing purpose…

In reality, if our relationship had developed enough by then, and she would have wanted it too, I would have chosen to go to the university in her city (and the master would have been fine. I mean, how much do these masters really matter? or degrees, really? It’s not going to help me get a job. The only reason I’m doing them is because I enjoy studying and developing my mind). Continue Reading →