A Masochistic Lesbian Slave
My life as a slave is quite wonderful but it took quite a few hurdles to accept myself. I started learning more about myself when I started my training with Lois, my past Mistress. Our dynamic, ended but since I have been blogging about my experiences in the hope to share and educate and show you that you’re not alone if you are just starting out.
After meeting Vivienne for the first time in June, I visited her once more in July for a second filming day. We filmed at the yard for the first four films, and went back to the studio for the last two. Vivienne had the desire to suspend me (since I’m very much into that) and showed me a picture of what she had in mind. Continue Reading →
In BDSM, it sometimes appears customary for dominants to assert their dominance through capitalisation, elevating themselves with ‘Me’ and ‘Mine’, while submissives use lower case letters like ‘i’, overriding normal grammar rules. While I respect the choice of individuals to do so, it sometimes feels tricky for me to navigate within Femdom. As a submissive this would automatically mean I am ‘i’ or ‘mila’ but Continue Reading →
As I stood naked in the room with my legs strapped and my wrists tied to my elbows, my mind fought with the thought of looking at her as she walked towards me. Am I allowed to give in now? Do I look pretty enough? What if I turn out to be hugely disappointing to her? I stole a glance at her. Did she smile? Continue Reading →
I had a spanking/caning shoot the other week for which I had to travel two hours down South. It was a fun day with genuine smiles but it happened to be one of those days in which my skin felt pretty sensitive. Some days I’m just not into pain. I know, shocking, right? Well actually, these last few months, I’ve barely felt like I want Continue Reading →
Content warning: unconsensual sexual touching. When he started touching me in the morning, my first response was to ask him what time it was, sort of grumpily, as if to say I wasn’t feeling up for this right now. It didn’t stop him from touching me. Confused and unsure of what was happening, my sleepy mind tried to make sense of the situation. I had gone Continue Reading →
I was incredibly anxious on the evening leading up to New Years. I can’t tell you exactly why but I wished I could skip this date. On normal days, at least there’s no pressure. I was with my friends in this beautiful, safe space that feels like home to me and yet my mind was ruining it. When I was sitting in my bed with Continue Reading →
A week or so ago, Mistress and I stayed in Kent for a little over a week with our good friend Lady Amber. We were there to do sessions and have a catch up, which included watching several horror movies at night. I ended up feeling ready for bed far earlier than they did, however and so I asked if we could sort the sleeping arrangements. Continue Reading →
Naomi and I were sitting outside on the porch with a blanket shared between us. It was the late evening and everyone was tired. There had been a fetish party the night before, but Naomi and I hadn’t really seen much of each other. During the day we intended to take a bath together but in between cleaning and harvesting vegetables we didn’t find the time. Continue Reading →
Next Post A few weeks back, I tried acid for the first time as I went candy flipping with a few friends. I have tried different substances and find the different effects fascinating, so felt naturally curious about acid too. Whereas in the past I was afraid of having a negative response, nowadays I feel like it couldn’t possibly be worse than having to hold Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Sometimes words are difficult and playing instead is exactly what I need. It’s how I first connected to Roxy and how I seem to find a kind of joy I haven’t experienced anywhere else. For as long as I can remember I have been interested in rope and getting tied. I’m not sure where the appeal comes from exactly, but Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post A few weeks ago, I was meant to see Roxy on Sunday. She had said we would the weekend prior and having something to look forward to really helps me nowadays. That week, my mental health wasn’t great and the thought of wanting to die was constantly on my mind. However, I did the right things to help myself and Continue Reading →
A few weeks ago, Bestvibe approached me and asked if I wanted to review one of their sex toys. I was able to choose which one I wanted to review so I opted for the Kisstoy K-King 15x Sucking Vibrating Mini Clitoral stimulator. In other words, a clit sucker, which seemed to be of really high quality. The toy arrived in discreet packaging and looked Continue Reading →
Content warning: depressive thoughts and shit I want to jump out of a window and feel the pain of breaking a bone, and when my head hits the ground for my lights to go out. I want to stab my chest with the shattered glass and scream the pain away. I want to curl up into a ball and disappear. How can someone like me belong here? Continue Reading →
A little while ago, between the first lockdown and the second when restrictions had eased I was lucky enough to spend a weekend with kinky friends. I met some through working on a spanking film, and others through connections from a party pre-lockdown. It was rather surreal to be around a group of people after spending most of my time alone for months. “Don’t try Continue Reading →
After quite an intense belting on New Years, Roxy and I hugged for a little before finding her partner in the living room. Something appeared to be up and so her attention shifted and while I was able to lean against her they soon went for a smoke. It was okay because I could cuddle with a friend in front of the fire but after Continue Reading →
My dynamic with Lois was very different from my current one with Roxy. The most obvious difference is that one was online and one takes place in person but the set up of the relationships is distinctive too. While Lois and I were only Mistress and slave, Roxy and I are friends too. In my first dynamic, I was explicitly and constantly reminded of my Continue Reading →
I have been re-reading Sunstone recently because I have been in a bit of a rut fiction writing-wise and I came across this page with which I’m sure you will all agree. Vanilla people just don’t have a good idea of what our kinky wonderland entails so when someone attempts to represent kink it often misses the mark (to put it lightly). I’m playing for Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Task After the crotch rope and some final play, Roxy told me to put my clothes back on (yes, over the rope harness). We packed our stuff and she went to store her things away. I could have followed her but I stood still on my own in the dark for a while as there was something very soothing about it. Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post I have always been interested in crotch rope predicaments. So much so that it’s one of the few things my ex and I actively pursued even though we barely ended up doing anything kinky. Last year before December I made my own crotch rope predicament by lacing the rope around the rail in my wardrobe and locked myself in place Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Roxy said she’d got me a present for my birthday. I kind of knew what it would be but tried really hard to suppress my knowledge about it. I struggled with the idea because I wanted it so badly that I couldn’t allow myself to feel happy about it; apparently I don’t think I deserve to be happy. I was Continue Reading →
I used to live right next to the sea but recently moved. On my last day in the property, I thought I should make use of this beautiful location by wearing a rope harness out and taking some pictures on the beach. I found a tutorial for a seashell harness, which seemed fitting and decided to use my new rope I got from Skorpion Rope Continue Reading →
Some people are afraid of getting older but what I’m really afraid of is a certain kind of change that comes with the passing of time. You can be the closest of friends with someone, which feels so secure that you think it will always last, but time passes and things change. Either the people themselves change or the situation around them changes and what Continue Reading →
Previous task | Next Post It had been about two months since I saw Roxy last when she came over to mine. I had really been looking forward to seeing her at my place again (and had already planned my lingerie outfit for waking her up in the morning) but unfortunately, we didn’t manage to make it happen. Instead, she said we’d go to a Continue Reading →
Previous Task | My Mistress is Coming Over I cannot remember how she set this task so let’s just imagine it was something like, “Wear a rope harness and take a picture outdoors.” The other day I realised that I had forgotten to post about this task as it took place just before Roxy came over weeks ago. But as I went through the posts Continue Reading →
Recently, I have been struggling to say “Yes Mistress” because it seems like I haven’t accepted the shame of taking on the submissive role. Or at the very least, I haven’t felt confident enough to dive in, I suppose. I mentioned my hesitancy to use it during my weekend with Roxy. It seems like I’m afraid I’ll be judged or that it’s weird for me Continue Reading →
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