A Masochistic Lesbian Submissive's Blog
Trigger warning: depression and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I slip into it so slowly that I don’t notice I have changed at all. I am aware that I’m not feeling well and that depression has crept up on me but I’m not aware that ‘my voice’ has changed. I am ‘the other’ and I don’t realise because she feels so familiar to me. She’s like an Continue Reading →
Note: Laura experienced some difficulties in her life and unfortunately this project has therefore been paused indefinitely. As explained in a prior post, Laura and I are setting each other tasks and will be posting about how this went on our blogs. Laura fulfilled my first task and wrote about it here. On the bottom of this post, she wrote down the task for me, Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post I have written about my dissociation in the past in My Mental Illness: Depression and Dissociation and written a guest post attempting to explain a little bit about dissociation on SB4MH. Considering the forms of dissociation out there like, Dissociative Identity Disorder about which DeviantSuccumbus has written some great posts (here & here) that explains it well, mine is pretty mild. Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There is a picture set available with this post. I was in a masochistic mood the other day. I was still at my dad’s house so I didn’t really have any tools with me to inflict Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures and videos available with this blog post. In the morning of this particular day, Miss Lois had been briefly online and asked if I had a busy day Continue Reading →
As you all know I will very shortly be caned for the first time; it’s tomorrow, in fact. Therefore, I thought it’d be good to finally write the post about when I got spanked for the first time, as the follow up will be a bit more extreme and might show some symbolic development compared to this post. I met my ex when I was Continue Reading →
Note: Laura experienced some difficulties in her life and unfortunately this project has therefore been paused indefinitely. Some of you probably know that I was quite a fan of PainSlutLois’ blog (not the Lois that trained me). She stopped posting a little while ago but linked to my and this other girl’s blog (Laura, Student Slave) quite recently, after which Laura and I started talking. Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Following up on my anticipating my first caning post, I want to go a little bit deeper into my ‘I don’t want to win’ statement by going back to the time I spent with Miss Lois. As happened quite often… (more often than I thought, looking back) I was having a few depressive days again. These would often end up Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures available with this blog post. Marks, mhm… I love marks because they are a visible reminder of the good time we had and sometimes they leave a soft sting of pain. Walking away Continue Reading →
You would not believe how often I received the response, “Why do you use the pill? You don’t need it.” (So often in fact that I’m worried all of you will go, ‘erm, yes… you don’t need the pill, you’re gay.’) Even more curious is that I don’t just get this question from men. Women also ask me why I need to use contraception as Continue Reading →
Mindset is an interesting thing. It is possible to talk about different kind of mindsets; mindset can mean whether or not you’re in the mood for sex, and mindset can mean your attitude. While it is called mind’set,’ a mindset is anything but set and can be changed as long as one is open to change and the mindset can be changed, for example, in Continue Reading →
no
For years, I struggled with the idea of my own existence. I didn’t want to be alive and didn’t think I should exist. I preferred to be invisible and part of that meant to never wear anything too nice. I admired women that looked fashionable from a distance, whether they were wearing make-up, trousers, skirts, dresses and/or heels. They seemed so confident and at peace Continue Reading →
April 2015 I can describe us with an endless list of songs. I can see her in everything she has ever talked about. She used to be my first thought in the morning and my last thought when I went to bed. She didn’t even leave me in my dreams. She was always there, with me, in my head, but hasn’t been with me for Continue Reading →
Hello, I am the best friend of MLSlavePuppet. So far, I have featured on a number of posts, and while I am an avid fan of her work, after speaking with her, we thought it might be interesting to hear my perspective. This post is about how she used to tease me with pictures of herself that she wrote about in this post and my Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures available with this blog post. In previous posts, I mentioned and explained that Miss Lois was proud of me if I was able to make my best friend Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures available with this blog post. In the previous post, I mentioned that I wasn’t doing too great and my dissociation and depressive thoughts were far stronger than the Continue Reading →
A little over two weeks ago, Paloqueth.com, an online sex shop contacted me. They wondered if I might be interested in testing out one of their toys in exchange for a review and honestly, why not? What better opportunity to try something new without risk! I’m a curious person; I like to try new things. I got to choose which product I wanted to try Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post I’m fairly confident I have mentioned this before, but if you’re new here, I didn’t really enjoy orgasms or touching myself for a long, long time. A friend once encouraged me to get a vibrator and to start self-pleasuring, pointing out how important and healthy this was. After getting past the initial embarrassment, I followed her advice but I didn’t Continue Reading →
Depression has a lot of invisible to the outside world side-effects that I imagine people often feel ashamed about, and therefore walk around with it alone. I know I felt ashamed. I want to talk about bad habits that if not caused by, at the very least became stuck in my system as a result of depression. I think some of mine are universal, while Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures and a full video available with this blog post. Last Thursday, I was in a very masochistic mood and I figured that the only way I’d get out of this was by torturing Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures available with this blog post. Just about a week ago, I received a new Black Ruffle Mini Skirt and Crotchless Tartan Briefs in the post. I didn’t really know if I was going Continue Reading →
I never saw my sexuality as anything that was connected to kink. I knew that I was into BDSM and identified as a submissive of some sorts far before I ever started questioning my sexuality. But funnily, it’s through the start of a D/s ‘relationship’ that I finally admitted and acknowledged to myself that I am a lesbian, which happened somewhere around when I was Continue Reading →
I’ve been dreaming of kinky shenanigans for yeaaars. And I mean years because while I’m only 24-years old, I knew I was into kink just as I entered secondary school. Of course, I was way too young to be allowed to be into kink and so I had to stick to my fantasies. Sometimes these fantasies would include me playing with dolls or lego and Continue Reading →
For once this is a post about the present, something I did last Sunday, rather than a recap of something I did in the past with Miss Lois. I own the lush remote control vibrator, which was useful because Miss Lois could control it from where she was but somehow I never yet wore it outside of my house. I wanted to go out to Continue Reading →
You must be logged in to post a comment.