Fun Gift and a Burning Vagina

For a long while, I didn’t care much about having orgasms. They were sort of nice, but not so nice that I wanted to have them all the time. In fact, it kind of took a lot of effort to get there. Using vibrators helped, but even then, I didn’t feel like the effort was worth those few seconds of pleasure. I had been wondering if I needed to try a wand perhaps, as everyone seemed to be raving about Continue Reading →

Always Ready to Serve

I never really thought of what a service sub is because I think all submissives (and dominants) are doing things in service of each other. A submissive kneeling in front of their dominant is a very clear sign of service; wearing a collar too is in service of. On the other hand, a dominant taking care of their submissive is in service of them. For me in the past, specifically, Lois would make me feel useful, which is something I Continue Reading →

Adapting Desires

Everyone has certain ideas and tends to stick to certain values. Sometimes we are so attached to these that we aren’t open to receiving input from elsewhere. I for one am convinced there is no god and am not receptive to the idea that I should practise religion. Is this a bad thing? No, not necessarily but the consequence is that I’ve closed to the door to possible enlightenment which religion can bring other people. While I have certain ideas Continue Reading →

Deserving to call her Mistress

Previous Post | Next Post As you know, I’ve always referred to Lois as Miss Lois because that’s what she told me to address her as – that is, for the first half of my training. At some point, this changed and I was allowed to address her as Mistress Lois. The title was something she thought should be earned and eventually I did. Let’s go back to the start though. I never really knew much about titles; I didn’t Continue Reading →

Trying to orgasm with clamps on my labia until I cried

Previous Post | Next Post In the morning of this particular day, Miss Lois had been briefly online and asked if I had a busy day today. She said that she had to go but that she might say hello later on if her day wouldn’t be too crazy. Three hours later she came back online and pointed out that I’d seemed to be rather quiet today. She asked me how I felt. “Alright, Miss,” I said. Miss Lois: “That Continue Reading →

From ‘Innocent’ Girl to Obedient Slave

Mindset is an interesting thing. It is possible to talk about different kind of mindsets; mindset can mean whether or not you’re in the mood for sex, and mindset can mean your attitude. While it is called mind’set,’ a mindset is anything but set and can be changed as long as one is open to change and the mindset can be changed, for example, in slave/submissive training. I’m going to write about both of the mentioned kind of mindsets and Continue Reading →

“Would you like a slave name?”

Previous Post | Next Post “Would you like a slave name? A name I call you?” Miss Lois asked me one day. Reading the question made me pause. I had always been resistant towards slave names and even addressing a Domme with Miss, but then this had obviously changed. I now liked calling Lois, Miss Lois. It made me feel good because I felt like she deserved to be addressed as such, and it also made me feel more like Continue Reading →

Body Writing to Recognise my Slave Identity

Previous Post | Next Post (I have implemented the function in my site that if you want to see the pictures in a post, you just click on ‘view image’ whenever an image is available. This way, people can choose to only read posts if they don’t want to see naked/sexual pictures. I haven’t figured out what to do with the header pictures yet though) In the previous post, I mentioned that I wasn’t doing too great and my dissociation Continue Reading →

Trying to dig up feelings. Fighting dissociation

Previous Post | Next Post I’m fairly confident I have mentioned this before, but if you’re new here, I didn’t really enjoy orgasms or touching myself for a long, long time. A friend once encouraged me to get a vibrator and to start self-pleasuring, pointing out how important and healthy this was. After getting past the initial embarrassment, I followed her advice but I didn’t like it at all. I tried different things and I just didn’t get it. What Continue Reading →

Part 1: A shared chat with Miss Lois and my best friend

Miss Lois, my best friend and I entered a chat group with just the three of us. She told him that he wasn’t allowed to speak in here unless directly asked to, and that he wasn’t allowed to touch himself at any point, but that if he did without touching himself, it would be a massive compliment to me! Continue Reading →

Double Insertion

This day, she told me to get naked, put on my boos and to insert a vibrator in each of my holes and to turn them on max. I asked her if I was allowed to use a blanket or something, and she allowed me to lie in bed after I shower her a picture of me first. Continue Reading →

Part 3: Clit torture: Dragon’s blood XXX Ultra Hot Sauce…

Miss Lois: “Be careful with the sauce. You have tried it earlier so you know.”
I mean… I guess I knew but I was also very naive and just not really there with my brain? All I knew is that I wanted to please her and that probably meant using more sauce rather than less. Continue Reading →

Part 1: Stylish shoelaces and planned outfits

I guess you’re wondering what this has to do with kink but one of the things Miss Lois told me to order at some point were specific shoelaces, which partly excited me and partly caused me to feel anxious because oh my god, another exterior change for the public to see! Continue Reading →

Punishment: The day I drank out of a toilet (#1)

Miss Lois: “‘As long as I can be useful to someone, even in the future, I have a purpose.’ This is your slave motto. Whenever we start a conversation, you type this after saying ‘Hello Miss’. I don’t want you to copy paste it. I want you to memorise and write it. The punishment for forgetting will be you peeing in the toilet and slurping some of the wee from the bowl.” Continue Reading →

Feeling like a good slave: Elastic bands and Candle wax

The first thing I did when I got home was take off my clothes. Usually I then put on comfy clothes, but I decided to not to as I suspected I might have to take them off shortly anyway. Miss Lois asked me to show her my room with pictures and afterwards I snuggled up comfortably in my warm bed. Only for her to tell me to get up 5 minutes later. Continue Reading →

Task: Squirt at 3 AM every night

Once I got a Fitbit, Miss Lois could look into my sleep pattern and as it turned out, I seemed to wake up around 3 AM most nights. This helped her decide on the outline of a new task: to wake up every night at 3 AM (without an alarm, my body had to know that I had to) and to masturbate until I squirted. I would only be allowed to go to sleep afterwards and was to send a picture with a small report on how it went in the morning. Continue Reading →

Compliments and attention are good

Halfway through my training, Miss Lois also started making a point of how compliments are positive. I suppose I struggled to accept compliments because I never felt like I was good enough or doing good enough. It can always be better, right? I also didn’t like attention and receiving a compliment felt like receiving attention. Continue Reading →

Training: vaginal insertion

Miss Lois: “Insert one index finger in your vagina, completely to the knuckle. Then show me a picture. Then insert the marker at least halfway into the vagina (you can take your finger out if you want). Take a picture again. You’re only allowed to take the pads out after you’ve taken the second picture.” Continue Reading →

Kinky Budget

I don’t like to spend money on things I don’t have to spend money on. I feel kind of guilty for spending money on ‘unnecessary’ things because I’m a student and don’t earn a lot and living is expensive. Continue Reading →

Task: Write about torture for 10 minutes straight

I was at a friend’s house when Miss Lois messaged me. We were just chilling and sort of doing our own things, so it wasn’t too difficult to reply to Miss Lois. She was suddenly very interested in my type (which my friend also always are but I don’t really think I have a type?) (Apart from my type being women, lmao.) (And dominant, haha.) Continue Reading →

M/s dynamic to help manage depression

I struggle quite a bit with depression and often wrote Miss Lois when I was doing poorly. She wasn’t always there to reply and I didn’t expect her to. It was just nice to have a safe space to leave my thoughts, I guess. In the night, I had been sending her messages about how I was feeling. Then in the morning, she came online and asked me how I was doing. Continue Reading →

Learning how to walk in stilettos

One of the things that had a lot of importance from the start of our dynamic were heels. Naturally, I never wore them, used them or really owned many. I guess you’d have a field day if you enjoy training someone. How many women don’t know how to walk in heels? lol. Continue Reading →

Pausing slave training

I was very insecure and hated myself a lot, as I still do when I start having a depressive breakdown. I asked her: “Do you ever just wish that you would’ve met someone that’s a true slave but without all this extra baggage?” Continue Reading →

Penetrating the Mind

During my training there’d sometimes be periods where I didn’t need to be punished at all and then suddenly there’d be a streak of instances where I didn’t obey (although it was often a mistake, rather than that I didn’t obey on purpose). Continue Reading →