“Would you like a slave name? A name I call you?” Miss Lois asked me one day. Reading the question made me pause. I had always been resistant towards slave names and even addressing a Domme with Miss, but then this had obviously changed. I now liked calling Lois, Miss Lois. It made me feel good because I felt like she deserved to be addressed as such, and it also made me feel more like a slave. It was sort of a constant, welcome, reminder. But then, a slave name… Would that mean I’d have to part with my identity and take on a new one?
I told her I didn’t know and asked her if she would like it. Then before she could answer I sent her a “maybe”. She said to think about it- as in, think about it over the next few weeks, but even thinking about it then… my thoughts were jumping from “I don’t know” to “Maybe” to “I think so?” to “Yes?”
But she had said that I should think about it and so our conversation drifted elsewhere that day and in the meantime, this idea kept on plaguing my thoughts. Did I want one?
Soon, I realised that while I wasn’t entirely sure about my personal feelings towards this question, I knew that I wanted to have one because it seemed like the right next step. Giving in to this would be good. It could help me accept my identity as a slave, which is what I wanted. (It’s funny, isn’t it? Even if you are certain you want something you often can’t change it immediately.)
Additionally, once Miss Lois suggested something that I knew she’d like to see (such as using the hot sauce again) I’d start craving it even if I hated or was scared of the idea. She hadn’t explicitly said that she liked the idea of me having a slave name, but why else would she have brought it up.
We started looking for names and she asked me what kind of names I liked. Well… let me tell you, I don’t tend to like a lot of names. (I do when they are other people’s names, but it’s different when it is about me.) Maybe that’s normal, really. We all identify with our own names and it feels like it’s our own, it’s a part of our identity. Parting with such is very strange. Just like as if you were to part from your nationality to take on another one.
I think I mentioned my official name, Marie Louise, to her to explain why I don’t like a lot of names; I don’t know how my name was linked to disliking most other names in the world but alas. And suddenly she had the perfect name for me. Marie Louise. And I was like… … … (but I hate it…) (I just told you…) (this isn’t me…)
She, however, had gone into one of those happily satisfied, feeling very pleased with oneself moods.
Miss Lois: “It’s perfect.”
This had immediately stopped being a discussion. She decided and, the ‘optimist’ that I am (I’m really not) thought about it and concluded that this was actually kind of clever. My slave identity is hidden to the vanilla world and my official name is essentially removed from my normal life. The name was, to some extent, already part of my identity even if I’d rejected it but maybe it had a chance to be appreciated now.
She didn’t just start using it all the time now. Sometimes if she wanted to grab my attention (not that she didn’t already have it), or if she instantly wanted to make me feel more of a slave, she’d use it at the start of a conversation. Sometimes she would also use it if my thoughts started spiralling or if I had to be punished. She also exclusively addressed me as Marie Louise when talking to other people, such as my friend and when speaking to her Dominant friends.
So this is where the ML in MLSlavePuppet comes from. Some people assumed that ML stood for Miss Lois, which until they pointed it out had never crossed my mind. It’s just a coincidence, a funny one, I guess, but both the name Marie Louise and MLSlavePuppet feel like they’re mine, with or without Miss Lois.
So how did SlavePuppet come about then? Like with the slave name, we talked about it and she asked me what felt right. I was very much against names like “slut” or “bitch” and all those other, what felt to me like degrading names.
Slave, however, definitely felt right, for obvious reasons I guess. Although, it hadn’t been that simple. It took a long while until I started feeling okay with being called a slave and it took even longer before it actually started feeling good. It took me a long time to accept myself, I guess. But adding slave to the name felt truly right now.
Because of my dislike for any other name, lol, Miss Lois came up with and suggested puppet. It made sense because I’m very obedient and thus could essentially be controlled like a puppet, I guess. Recently someone asked me if I would like to be tied up in some sort of shibari that would literally make me a puppet though, and that didn’t seem right at all. Although thinking about it now I’m sure Miss Lois would have found that very amusing, and if a Mistress would desire it, of course, my attitude towards it would change.
Regardless of the decision for my slave name to be Marie Louise, I never really accepted it. As in, even if I wanted to accept it, it just didn’t happen. One of the reasons I didn’t like the name is because it seems to be too ‘big,’ too ‘orchestrated’ and ‘pretty’ for me. Recently, this has changed. It always feels a bit weird not using a name on here. I mean, yes, I use MLSlavePuppet, but I am also a person behind this blog and other bloggers use names.
Now, it feels only right that I’d be using Marie Louise. It can be a pseudonym like how writers use one sometimes. Maybe that’s why I can on here, as I partly see it as a persona and partly as me and I expect that the more I use it, the more it’ll start feeling like me, rather than a persona. I don’t know if it will remain my slave name forever, but I kind of like it, mostly because of how it’s ‘hidden in plain sight’ in my vanilla life. I’m sure Mum would be happy that it’s finally used, lol lol. And lastly, by using it here it is inevitably linked to my slave identity, meaning that in the end, Miss Lois’ attempt to give me a slave name worked, I guess.
I’m still going to sign these posts with MLSlavePuppet, but in conversations with people or comments etc. I’ll sign them with Marie Louise instead. And maybe I’ll end up signing the posts with Marie Louise too. We’ll see. Sidenote, Marie Louise is a single name. It’s french and doesn’t require a dash in between to make it a single name.