A Masochistic Lesbian Submissive's Blog
Back when I was 18, I met Lisa, a Mistress, on Collarspace. (I address her as Lisa, as I never called her Miss while we were talking.) She was very interested in exploring my mind and loved that I was so inexperienced in every way and embarrassed and shy about my kinky feelings. It made it very easy to activate my submissive side, I guess. Continue Reading →
I don’t like to spend money on things I don’t have to spend money on. I feel kind of guilty for spending money on ‘unnecessary’ things because I’m a student and don’t earn a lot and living is expensive. Continue Reading →
I was at a friend’s house when Miss Lois messaged me. We were just chilling and sort of doing our own things, so it wasn’t too difficult to reply to Miss Lois. She was suddenly very interested in my type (which my friend also always are but I don’t really think I have a type?) (Apart from my type being women, lmao.) (And dominant, haha.) Continue Reading →
I struggle quite a bit with depression and often wrote Miss Lois when I was doing poorly. She wasn’t always there to reply and I didn’t expect her to. It was just nice to have a safe space to leave my thoughts, I guess. In the night, I had been sending her messages about how I was feeling. Then in the morning, she came online and asked me how I was doing. Continue Reading →
One of the things that had a lot of importance from the start of our dynamic were heels. Naturally, I never wore them, used them or really owned many. I guess you’d have a field day if you enjoy training someone. How many women don’t know how to walk in heels? lol. Continue Reading →
I hated wearing nail polish. Miss Lois had mentioned nail polish before and I had told her about my dislike. Of course I knew that now it had been mentioned it couldn’t be long before I had to wear it, but one always keeps hoping that the day is never today. Continue Reading →
I was very insecure and hated myself a lot, as I still do when I start having a depressive breakdown. I asked her: “Do you ever just wish that you would’ve met someone that’s a true slave but without all this extra baggage?” Continue Reading →
During my training there’d sometimes be periods where I didn’t need to be punished at all and then suddenly there’d be a streak of instances where I didn’t obey (although it was often a mistake, rather than that I didn’t obey on purpose). Continue Reading →
Every time I took a picture for Miss Lois, she said that she wanted me to smile, since I never did. Rather, I looked either uncomfortable, angry or sad… or something, lol. Which is kind of a picture ruiner when the rest looks pretty good… or so I was told. Continue Reading →
She tried to force it out of me by saying how I was a slave and that slaves do as they are told. Usually when she starts demanding it immediately I am more likely to do it sooner. Yet… this didn’t seem to work now. Then I saw a spider. A FUCKING SPIDER! In the corner of my room. It wasn’t a small one. I interrupted my task. I was… well… Continue Reading →
Miss Lois often surprised me with the ideas she came up with, or the tools she managed to find when I wasn’t at my home where I have my toys. It wasn’t any different when she asked me if my mum had any tiger balm at home. In my memory, tiger balm had always been something for muscle pain. I had no idea why she wanted me to get that… Continue Reading →
You will wear the heels all day and go outside in them while meeting a friend. For every day that you don’t, you will wear the stones in your shoes and this will continue for as long as it takes until you wear the heels for the day. Continue Reading →
I never liked the idea of addressing a Mistress by any sort of title. It was one of the things I actively rejected. When I was 14-16, I used to read a lot of erotic stories on the internet and I disliked how in all of them, the submissives had to use titles to address their Dommes / as well as the names the submissives were given (like slut and such). Continue Reading →
I can still remember the first time Miss Lois asked me to pose for her on a picture, which was also the same time that I sent her my first naked pictures. I was quite reluctant about this, or conflicted rather. It’s not that I didn’t want to but I had always been told that I should never send or post any naked pictures of myself. I mean… Continue Reading →
I was roaming around on Collarspace, not particularly looking for anything or anyone but a distraction. I have to admit that I was still a bit sad and getting over my (mostly vanilla) relationship that had ended a few months ago. But more than that, I was searching to fill the void of the missing kink in my life. I knew I was submissive and I knew I wanted to find a Domme to serve, but I didn’t know where to find it. Continue Reading →
In reality, if our relationship had developed enough by then, and she would have wanted it too, I would have chosen to go to the university in her city (and the master would have been fine. I mean, how much do these masters really matter? or degrees, really? It’s not going to help me get a job. The only reason I’m doing them is because I enjoy studying and developing my mind). Continue Reading →
Some people wear butt plugs all the time, every day as a subtle reminder. But for me, as everything seemed to do at the start of my training (lol), the idea of wearing one all day was slightly frightening. Continue Reading →
Remember that people looking at me, or giving me compliments for the outfit I’m wearing is incredibly positive and makes Miss Lois extremely happy, even if I experience the compliment as negative. (At first I experienced the attention as negative, but later on it became nice and a compliment.) Continue Reading →
The evening before my departure, Miss Lois came up with a new task: That to show that I was going to develop even more as a slave once I arrived in this new place, I was to wear a pair of heels from the moment I got off the plane until I’d leave the airport. Continue Reading →
Then to my surprise, (again! I just didn’t know what to expect?) she told me to get a clothes hanger (one for hanging up skirts, the ones that have 2 clips attached) and attach those to both my nipples. Continue Reading →
Similar to my dread of heels, I dreaded the day when Miss Lois was going to tell me to go without panties. I don’t know why but it actively scared me so. That day I had planned to go to the zoo with my mum. (We had won cheap tickets or something, and were curious about what the zoo was like 10 years after we’d last been. Spoiler alert: it was terrible. The enclosures were way too small for all the animals and most of them were walking around in circles and were clearly not okay. (Am never going to a zoo again.)) Continue Reading →
So one day she told me to get a piece of paper and divide it in 4 blocks. One for obedience, pain, humiliation and classiness. She then told me to rate them from 1 to 4, one being the most important aspect of being a slave. Continue Reading →
I never particularly fancied heels. I’m not sure if that’s because I saw them as this evil noise making tool which would make people aware of me being there or because they are, or can be kind of uncomfortable to walk in. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that I didn’t really care about heels. They were simply a type of shoe which could be nice to wear for some occasions. Continue Reading →
I broke a rule I’d been given three times… and so my punishment came in threefold and… I certainly never broke the rule again after Continue Reading →
As part of my slave training, I had to learn how to walk in heels with which I struggled SO much. I was afraid of wearing heels because it would draw attention and I liked being invisible Continue Reading →
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