Every time I took a picture for Miss Lois, she said that she wanted me to smile since I never did. Rather, I looked either uncomfortable, angry or sad… or something, lol. Which is kind of a picture ruiner when the rest looks pretty good… or so I was told.
I also just didn’t know how to pose for pictures. It didn’t look attractive. It just looked very… well I guess it looks like how most people take pictures when they’re insecure. So after Miss Lois gave me a few months to just do what made me feel most comfortable, she eventually told me that I had to learn how to pose.
She sent me a picture of google which showed a woman in 10 different poses. Here’s my attempt at mirroring them…
“Twist your hip a little more. Head straight up”
“More of a dynamic shape in your body”
“You have a sexy body, show it!”
You can be assured that I wasn’t smiling in these pictures yet. My face looked very awkward, as I didn’t really know what I was doing or how to do it.
Miss Lois then chose her 5 favourite positions and made me take another picture of each of them but this time with my shirt rolled up.
She then numbered them from 1 to 5 and told me to remember. I’d have to take a picture in pose 3 if she’d said so. Now, my memory is terrible. At least, it is in terms of remembering numbers (and names). I didn’t think there’d be any way for me to memorise them this quickly, so I helped myself a bit by referring back to these pictures. In hindsight, I don’t know if that was allowed? But can’t change the past I guess lol. Also, the actual goal was to get me to pose better in the long term, as well as show me that I’m beautiful and sexy…? which feels very strange to write!
Saying that I still wanted to try and remember, so I tried to memorise the 5 poses like how you memorise the cards in the memory game, but then Miss Lois wanted something else… (to purposefully distract me, I guess!)
She told me to bring myself to the edge, to then put in the butt plug, go on all fours with my bum up and head down and my legs spread a little and to take a picture of it in the mirror. Afterwards, I was to sit down and bring myself to the edge again.
I had to sit down on the plug so to insert it completely… and fully when edging.
She then presented the following as an opportunity to be exceptionally pleasing. I mean… which slave doesn’t want to be exceptionally pleasing? hehe. Except… she wanted me to put a clip on my clit… ha…
Sensitivity differs for each person, but I happen to be very sensitive. (In most ways, really, lol) but especially my clit. It’s so sensitive that I didn’t think I could have a clip there. I had tried this with my ex-girlfriend before and got nowhere. I guess that shows what one can do if pushed properly. Miss Lois doesn’t tend to take no for an answer / and neither do I, because this was a choice, in theory?
The first picture on the left was taken first. I was told that I could take it off after I’d taken a picture and so I did. I couldn’t cope with the stinging pain of the clip. I mean, I honestly struggle (or used to struggle) with touching my clit directly while masturbating. However, the first picture wasn’t good enough… Miss Lois couldn’t see clearly enough that the clip was on my clit so she told me to do it again.
I struggled. Didn’t know how I could possibly do that again. But as I said… she doesn’t take no for an answer (not that I tried to plead with her). I felt unable to put it on quickly. Instead, I very slowly let the clip close. (I guess this doesn’t make it easier really? Sometimes it’s better to just do it, right? But inflicting that pain on myself is really difficult for me).
When it was on I took a picture as quickly as I could. Then Miss Lois wasn’t responding. Come on, come on, please, I thought. I couldn’t take it off because I was absolutely certain I wouldn’t be able to cope if I had to put it on again after this.
2 minutes later she told me this picture was okay. Phew.
I was then allowed to cum on a towel.
She asked me how many thongs I owned now, and set the rule that I was only allowed to wear thongs from now on. I don’t know how often I wore a thong before this rule was set as I’m so used to only wearing thongs now, but it was a bit of a shock to the system back then!
After this, the session ended and Miss Lois and I both went to bed.
Two days later, the new long-awaited stiletto’s had arrived, and it was time to continue posing practise.
She told me to take pictures of all the poses in the order of 4, 3, 2, 5, 1. (I looked this up, I didn’t remember this, obviously lol)
She mentioned how many things there were to do to train me, and how she enjoyed it, which made me feel small/submissive in a good way.
She then listed a few tasks for the on-going future. First one was to learn how to walk in the stiletto’s, the second to dress up nicely and go out with my newly-made friend (as I had been with her when I was wearing my normal heels out for the first time, and it had inspired her to dress up nicely the next time we met). The third task was to make the Fetlife profile that I still use now (but which back then was controlled by Miss Lois, with the intention to give me more confidence if people liked the posts but to shield me from potential negative responses). The fourth was that we were going to try and relax my pussy slowly (as I couldn’t do any vaginal insertion yet). And the fifth was to buy some anti-blemish and start using it on my face.
She told me to take some other pictures and asked me for each one if they were okay for her to post on the Fetlife profile. We took the most naked one, but she said she wasn’t going to upload it yet. Eventually, we might post a naked picture on Fetlife she said, but for now, she wanted me to feel comfortable.
A few days later, she helped me write the profile text for the profile, as I struggled to do it alone. Often, I know what I want to say, but I need someone to ask me the right questions so that I can actually write it down.
This was also the day when the ‘deconstruction of elegance‘ picture was made, as well as the perfected picture with the butt plug. Miss Lois was determined to create an attractive Fetlife profile for me. But before these, we had a lot of fun thinking of which writing to write on my body. By the time all the pictures were taken, I was dripping wet…
So Miss Lois asked me if I had a receptacle to catch it with…
She then told me to cum and catch any squirt (if I squirted) in the plastic container.
I didn’t manage to cum… somehow… but I did squirt.
The squirt was the most important thing though, I guess, as she then told me to use it to try and wipe the writing off…
She did want to make me cum though and wanted to help me by giving me a distraction by using the binder clips on my nipples and/or by inserting the butt plug.
I pleaded that I really didn’t want to use the binder clips again. Please, not those!
So she made a deal because I’d been so good. I was allowed to try and make myself cum for a while, but if it was taking too long, I was to put the clips on my nipples. She would tell me when it would take too long.
I felt a little relieved and hopeless at the same time. I didn’t think I’d manage to cum in time, if at all… The reason why I was unable to cum (I know now) was because I had started new medication which literally stopped me from orgasming until I came off them again, three months later! However, I had only just started them, and Miss Lois wasn’t convinced that medication could truly do this. I mean, I wasn’t either.
And so after a little while… it was time for the clamps (inserts crying face)
Me: “What if I’m incapable of cumming?” I said… the knowledge of the new medication in the back of my mind.
Miss Lois: “A worrying thought isn’t it?”
… Yes… it sure was a worrying thought! Because that meant I would be in pain for no fault of my own? (potentially?) / why couldn’t I just orgasm?? It used to be so easy and take me less than 10 minutes (which was a long time, really).
She showed me a picture of me and told me that it was a gorgeous picture of me… which… obviously aroused me. (And then she told me to cum, again – no giving up, ever. We can’t take no for an answer!)
It just didn’t work though. It literally just didn’t work. She tried to make me force an orgasm for a little while longer but it just really didn’t work. Screw medication?!
So then… she told me to put the toothed clip on my clit again (inserts another crying face).
Why was I being punished for this? I couldn’t help it…
She told me to stop complaining and that it was my body punishing me. I had squirted, and thus my body was ready to cum too… she said.
I had to keep the clip on for as long as I could cope… which was 8 minutes…
I was tired and exhausted and felt disappointed. I felt like I had been a disappointment. I also didn’t understand why I couldn’t force an orgasm out. It was incredibly frustrating.
In the end, she allowed me to stop and go to bed. She said I had been extremely good again today, which made me feel a bit better.
As a final note on learning how to pose, for the longest time, I didn’t know how to do the hip sort of movement – how to twist it properly. Miss Lois always told me to do it and it would cause me to lose my balance while twisting like my back or something to make it work.
Then suddenly one day I figured it out!
I was so happy! Kind of like when a child discovers something for the first time. It made posing so much easier, and also made it look nicer. I suddenly felt a lot more confident in my ability to pose, and it also gave me hope for learning how to walk in heels, as this hip movement was apparently a big part of it.
Eventually, the different poses and their numbers disappeared out of our dynamic, and Miss Lois chose one pose / I chose a pose that just worked quite well and stuck to using those whenever taking a picture in the future. You probably recognise that pose from the pictures on Fetlife.