A Masochistic Lesbian Submissive's Blog
I met Lois on a Kinky Dating site called CollarMe at the time. We engaged in an online D/s dynamic for 2-3 years, which I mostly entirely documented on my blog.
She told me to replace the butt plug in my vagina with the speculum. It didn’t really want to go in… It wasn’t necessarily that much bigger but it was shaped differently? And the small tip of the butt plug helped with pushing it in. But I managed to push it in by forcing it in despite the pain. Continue Reading →
I guess you’re wondering what this has to do with kink but one of the things Miss Lois told me to order at some point were specific shoelaces, which partly excited me and partly caused me to feel anxious because oh my god, another exterior change for the public to see! Continue Reading →
Miss Lois: “‘As long as I can be useful to someone, even in the future, I have a purpose.’ This is your slave motto. Whenever we start a conversation, you type this after saying ‘Hello Miss’. I don’t want you to copy paste it. I want you to memorise and write it. The punishment for forgetting will be you peeing in the toilet and slurping some of the wee from the bowl.” Continue Reading →
Miss Lois once asked me to sketch her a scenario / write her a story about a girl that wanted to be a slave and was starting her training. (I mean, this was obviously about me even though I started writing it as if it was about a random person, after which I was specifically told that this was about me.) Continue Reading →
The first thing I did when I got home was take off my clothes. Usually I then put on comfy clothes, but I decided to not to as I suspected I might have to take them off shortly anyway. Miss Lois asked me to show her my room with pictures and afterwards I snuggled up comfortably in my warm bed. Only for her to tell me to get up 5 minutes later. Continue Reading →
Miss Lois: “I was wondering if you could ask your friend to use the under the bed restraints on you and leave you for an extended period of time alone, tied up like that. So that you can have some feeling of being restrained. You can return the favour, of course.” Continue Reading →
Once I got a Fitbit, Miss Lois could look into my sleep pattern and as it turned out, I seemed to wake up around 3 AM most nights. This helped her decide on the outline of a new task: to wake up every night at 3 AM (without an alarm, my body had to know that I had to) and to masturbate until I squirted. I would only be allowed to go to sleep afterwards and was to send a picture with a small report on how it went in the morning. Continue Reading →
Halfway through my training, Miss Lois also started making a point of how compliments are positive. I suppose I struggled to accept compliments because I never felt like I was good enough or doing good enough. It can always be better, right? I also didn’t like attention and receiving a compliment felt like receiving attention. Continue Reading →
I don’t remember how or why I thought of this, but I thought it’d be fun and nice idea to wish Miss Lois a happy Christmas by writing it on my body and taking a picture of my naked body. I wanted it to be a bit more special though and not only write it with a black marker. So I went to the shops and looked for coloured marker pens, which were luckily fairly easy to find. Continue Reading →
I looked around the attic… my mum has many, many things that are partly packed in a lot of boxes and partly just shoved aside and hidden in drawers and such. I had no idea what we were looking for so I started sending Miss Lois pictures of everything. The shelves, the inside of drawers, boxes etc. I sent her about 30 different pictures. To the best of my knowledge, none of the items were useful in any way. Continue Reading →
Miss Lois: “Insert one index finger in your vagina, completely to the knuckle. Then show me a picture. Then insert the marker at least halfway into the vagina (you can take your finger out if you want). Take a picture again. You’re only allowed to take the pads out after you’ve taken the second picture.” Continue Reading →
One of the earlier fantasy scenarios I remember Miss Lois picturing to me was one in which I was tied to… a chair or something… and she was holding my phone, asking me for my pin number… or else… Continue Reading →
Back when I was 18, I met Lisa, a Mistress, on Collarspace. (I address her as Lisa, as I never called her Miss while we were talking.) She was very interested in exploring my mind and loved that I was so inexperienced in every way and embarrassed and shy about my kinky feelings. It made it very easy to activate my submissive side, I guess. Continue Reading →
I don’t like to spend money on things I don’t have to spend money on. I feel kind of guilty for spending money on ‘unnecessary’ things because I’m a student and don’t earn a lot and living is expensive. Continue Reading →
I was at a friend’s house when Miss Lois messaged me. We were just chilling and sort of doing our own things, so it wasn’t too difficult to reply to Miss Lois. She was suddenly very interested in my type (which my friend also always are but I don’t really think I have a type?) (Apart from my type being women, lmao.) (And dominant, haha.) Continue Reading →
I struggle quite a bit with depression and often wrote Miss Lois when I was doing poorly. She wasn’t always there to reply and I didn’t expect her to. It was just nice to have a safe space to leave my thoughts, I guess. In the night, I had been sending her messages about how I was feeling. Then in the morning, she came online and asked me how I was doing. Continue Reading →
One of the things that had a lot of importance from the start of our dynamic were heels. Naturally, I never wore them, used them or really owned many. I guess you’d have a field day if you enjoy training someone. How many women don’t know how to walk in heels? lol. Continue Reading →
I hated wearing nail polish. Miss Lois had mentioned nail polish before and I had told her about my dislike. Of course I knew that now it had been mentioned it couldn’t be long before I had to wear it, but one always keeps hoping that the day is never today. Continue Reading →
I was very insecure and hated myself a lot, as I still do when I start having a depressive breakdown. I asked her: “Do you ever just wish that you would’ve met someone that’s a true slave but without all this extra baggage?” Continue Reading →
During my training there’d sometimes be periods where I didn’t need to be punished at all and then suddenly there’d be a streak of instances where I didn’t obey (although it was often a mistake, rather than that I didn’t obey on purpose). Continue Reading →
Every time I took a picture for Miss Lois, she said that she wanted me to smile, since I never did. Rather, I looked either uncomfortable, angry or sad… or something, lol. Which is kind of a picture ruiner when the rest looks pretty good… or so I was told. Continue Reading →
She tried to force it out of me by saying how I was a slave and that slaves do as they are told. Usually when she starts demanding it immediately I am more likely to do it sooner. Yet… this didn’t seem to work now. Then I saw a spider. A FUCKING SPIDER! In the corner of my room. It wasn’t a small one. I interrupted my task. I was… well… Continue Reading →
Miss Lois often surprised me with the ideas she came up with, or the tools she managed to find when I wasn’t at my home where I have my toys. It wasn’t any different when she asked me if my mum had any tiger balm at home. In my memory, tiger balm had always been something for muscle pain. I had no idea why she wanted me to get that… Continue Reading →
You will wear the heels all day and go outside in them while meeting a friend. For every day that you don’t, you will wear the stones in your shoes and this will continue for as long as it takes until you wear the heels for the day. Continue Reading →
I never liked the idea of addressing a Mistress by any sort of title. It was one of the things I actively rejected. When I was 14-16, I used to read a lot of erotic stories on the internet and I disliked how in all of them, the submissives had to use titles to address their Dommes / as well as the names the submissives were given (like slut and such). Continue Reading →
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