A Masochistic Lesbian Submissive's Blog
Listen to the audio recording of this post here It had been several months since I’d last attended a kink party. My social anxiety hasn’t loosened its grip in quite a long while, so when Mistress Envy, a new connection I started filming with this year, asked if I wanted to join her and some others at one in Brighton, I was unsure. It’s always Continue Reading →
Please note: Due to the new online safety act, no pictures or videos will be available on this blog. You can now access them by DM-ing me on my Loyalfans. There are pictures and videos available with this post. I opened the dungeon door and before I could step inside, I noticed her come towards me. “I’ve thought of some bondage we can try,” she started, Continue Reading →
After meeting Vivienne for the first time in June, I visited her once more in July for a second filming day. We filmed at the yard for the first four films, and went back to the studio for the last two. Vivienne had the desire to suspend me (since I’m very much into that) and showed me a picture of what she had in mind. Continue Reading →
As I stood naked in the room with my legs strapped and my wrists tied to my elbows, my mind fought with the thought of looking at her as she walked towards me. Am I allowed to give in now? Do I look pretty enough? What if I turn out to be hugely disappointing to her? I stole a glance at her. Did she smile? Continue Reading →
My introduction to caning The first person I ever met on the Scottish Scene was an older male rigger who suspended me upside down from my ankles. It was a tie he’d never tried before and I don’t know what I was thinking. I wanted to engage with kink so badly and felt so anxious to go to a party that meeting a stranger to Continue Reading →
I had a spanking/caning shoot the other week for which I had to travel two hours down South. It was a fun day with genuine smiles but it happened to be one of those days in which my skin felt pretty sensitive. Some days I’m just not into pain. I know, shocking, right? Well actually, these last few months, I’ve barely felt like I want Continue Reading →
Over the last few months, I have regularly worked from Skadi’s home on one of the weekdays. There’s a blackboard in her kitchen and after one of the first time I’d been over, she invited me to leave a message. Skadi doesn’t just invite anyone into her home and likes to use the blackboard as a reminder that she’s loved and has many meaningful connections. Continue Reading →
The party at which Mistress used the nipple bucket clamps on me is the longest one I attended without going to bed. It started at 10 pm and we left at 4 pm the next day. I got to play loads and had a great time; people even got to take shot glasses from my vagina. At one point in the night when most people Continue Reading →
I was incredibly anxious on the evening leading up to New Years. I can’t tell you exactly why but I wished I could skip this date. On normal days, at least there’s no pressure. I was with my friends in this beautiful, safe space that feels like home to me and yet my mind was ruining it. When I was sitting in my bed with Continue Reading →
A few months ago, Mistress said she’d seen a pair of nipple clamps with small buckets and was very interested in getting them. When I went online to buy some toys for myself, I asked her where she’d seen them, thinking I could buy a pair. Unfortunately, the shipping costs were more expensive than the clamps themselves and I said that we might have to Continue Reading →
Naomi and I were sitting outside on the porch with a blanket shared between us. It was the late evening and everyone was tired. There had been a fetish party the night before, but Naomi and I hadn’t really seen much of each other. During the day we intended to take a bath together but in between cleaning and harvesting vegetables we didn’t find the time. Continue Reading →
Last year at the start of winter, I filmed a spanking film alongside three other girls and two tops at a beautiful manor in the countryside. It took three full days to film and included a six of the best caning scene at the end. When we finished my final take I felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to curl up into a blanket. Continue Reading →
I love knowing that Roxy and I are going to play. When we go to certain places it no longer has to be said and there’s simply a knowledge that we will, which makes me happy. I don’t tend to ask what we’re going to do and only inform her if I need to be unmarked or not. When the evening fell we went to Continue Reading →
Next Post A few weeks back, I tried acid for the first time as I went candy flipping with a few friends. I have tried different substances and find the different effects fascinating, so felt naturally curious about acid too. Whereas in the past I was afraid of having a negative response, nowadays I feel like it couldn’t possibly be worse than having to hold Continue Reading →
After Roxy and I played with needles for the first time she said: “Maybe we can pierce your nipple next time?” It was partly a question and partly a statement. “Y-yes,” I believe I said, a little taken by surprise. As the idea further dawned on me I became more excited. I had thought of nipple piercings many times before but getting them done by Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Sometimes words are difficult and playing instead is exactly what I need. It’s how I first connected to Roxy and how I seem to find a kind of joy I haven’t experienced anywhere else. For as long as I can remember I have been interested in rope and getting tied. I’m not sure where the appeal comes from exactly, but Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post Content warning: Mention of blood and needles. Please Note: (Due to the new online safety act, pictures and videos can no longer be found on this blog. To access them, please message me on Loyalfans) After getting rather bruised from shooting a cp video on a Friday a little while ago, I sent Roxy a picture. She didn’t reply that Continue Reading →
Previous Post | Next Post The previous week, Roxy was supposed to try out a new makeup look on me and do my hair, potentially to use in future videos. That didn’t happen so instead we moved it to the following weekend, which meant this was the first time we saw each other since the punishment. I had taken the time to learn how to Continue Reading →
A few weeks ago, Bestvibe approached me and asked if I wanted to review one of their sex toys. I was able to choose which one I wanted to review so I opted for the Kisstoy K-King 15x Sucking Vibrating Mini Clitoral stimulator. In other words, a clit sucker, which seemed to be of really high quality. The toy arrived in discreet packaging and looked Continue Reading →
Recently I was able to spend the entire day with Roxy and it allowed us to have a really nice time. Nothing was planned and there seemed little to no time limit, which made it feel relaxed and I could let go of my troubles. I will probably write about this day more in another blog post, but there’s a specific part I want to Continue Reading →
Next Post Note: I haven’t been posting much lately because I’m really struggling with my mental health but hopefully, this is the start of getting back on track. What I’m writing about here took place about a month ago. I knew Roxy was coming over today and I knew I was going to be punished. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this, as Roxy Continue Reading →
A little while ago, between the first lockdown and the second when restrictions had eased I was lucky enough to spend a weekend with kinky friends. I met some through working on a spanking film, and others through connections from a party pre-lockdown. It was rather surreal to be around a group of people after spending most of my time alone for months. “Don’t try Continue Reading →
On New Year’s Eve, I asked Roxy if we would play tonight. I thought we might but it would have been okay if we didn’t; I was happy enough that we were together but she said we would, she was wearing her belt. “Great,” I said quite nonchalantly, conscious about not wanting to seem too excited (I was very excited, obv). Twelve ‘o clock came Continue Reading →
When people ask me about my kinks and fantasies and I often don’t know what to say. I’m interested in a lot of things but if I think about it whipping has always been a big fantasy of mine. When I was struggling to sleep at night as a teen, I pictured myself standing in a dark room with my arms and legs spread and Continue Reading →
Quite unexpectedly, I was able to spend New Years with my Mistress and her partner this year. We hugged just after 12 and wished each other a happy new year, then she pointed at the floor. “Kiss my boots for your first act of submission of 2021,” she said. I looked at her for a moment, conscious that her partner was right there with us. Continue Reading →
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