My introduction to caning
The first person I ever met on the Scottish Scene was an older male rigger who suspended me upside down from my ankles. It was a tie he’d never tried before and I don’t know what I was thinking. I wanted to engage with kink so badly and felt so anxious to go to a party that meeting a stranger to be hung upside down felt safer. Anxiety is a weird thing, huh?
He was friendly though and had no sexual interest in me. He told me that if I was interested in meeting a female Mistress I should get in touch with Sultry Belle. “She’s always looking for new young, petite females who can take pain and she can keep you safe.”
He sent me a link to Sultry Belle’s call for caning models on Fetlife. Up until that point, I’d never really heard of caning before. I’d read loads of D/s erotica and fantasised about getting beaten really severely though – whether that was by a whip or a cane didn’t really bother me. After all, I had no idea what either felt like.
I reached out and we met at her place, where she became the first person to ever cane me. It was an exciting experience and I remember it made my mind feel very awake, yet my body felt drained afterwards. The experience wasn’t something I’d always dreamed of. I didn’t realise at the time, but taking pain just for pain doesn’t necessarily excite me. It’s the connection I have with the person who is delivering the pain, the one I am submitting to and will take the pain for, that excites me.
Still, I felt like it was easy enough for me to take the caning. Sultry Belle heavily praised me and said I could be paid really well if I modelled for her. The fact that I didn’t want to show my face didn’t even have to be a problem – she’d get me a mask I could wear. As a student, earning £300 in one day by taking 50 judicial caning strokes sounded amazing. What did judicial mean anyway? To me, it meant flicking a switch in my mind to perform and cope when necessary.
Enjoying pain
Two months later I met Roxy at a play party. The way she has recounted our meeting is that I walked up to her confidently, and the subsequent pain I took as we played impressed her. Funnily enough, I didn’t think I’d taken much pain at all that night. The way our scene played out made submitting to her feel so natural. I wanted her to hurt me; I wanted to take the pain for her so badly.
When she heard I modelled in caning videos for Sultry Belle, it became even more apparent I could take a lot. I’d quickly established myself as a masochist through the caning videos but it wasn’t until my dynamic with Roxy that I got to explore taking pain in a way I really liked.
Our dynamic helped me fulfil many previously unmet kinky desires that I’d always dreamed about. In our scenes, I’d often take a lot of pain, which made me feel alive. I loved submitting to her and she seemed to enjoy dominating me.
Near the end of our dynamic I strangely felt unable to take much pain and the last time I took a caning from Roxy, I didn’t feel at ease. The final time we had the opportunity to play I asked her if I could worship her feet instead of getting hit. Jokingly she remarked: “You don’t want to get hit? What’s happened? I thought you liked pain?” A feeling of discomfort settled in my stomach upon hearing her say that. In some way, I felt like I was failing. I too thought I used to like pain.
As my dynamic with Roxy fell apart, it felt like my ability to take pain did too. It left me wondering whether I was still a masochist or if I had ever been one at all.
Maybe I was never into caning?
When I meet new people now, many remember the films in which I got caned by Sultry Belle. “I’ve seen you can take a lot,” has been an opening line I’ve heard a few too many times. On the one hand, it makes me feel special as if I can do something many others can’t. On the other hand, it worries me, as some people take it as a benchmark for how hard they can potentially hit me.
Over the last few years, I learned that I can take severe impact play but that I only desire this in specific situations with the people I like to play with. But after coming out of the M/s dynamic with Roxy, I questioned whether I liked impact play at all. Maybe I only liked it because it was the only way I thought I could please. What if I actually preferred to play more sensually and just wanted to feel loved?
And more specifically, did I ever enjoy getting caned? The feeling that comes to mind when I think back to filming with Sultry Belle is one of feeling on edge. When I think of caning outside of this it has either been as a job (which can be enjoyable with the people I trust) or in a setting where I was barely able to take any strokes at all.
But then when Rabbit told me that Mistress Baton was visiting, a strong curiosity to meet her struck.
Mistress Baton & the rope clinic
Mistress Baton is a corporal punishment dominatrix based in South Africa. On her profile it says that caning is a passion of hers; not merely a pastime but one of her greatest purposes in life as a happy sadist. I remember seeing a video of her unpacking a new set of canes and the excitement in her voice was infectious. So when Rabbit asked me to bunny for one of her rope clinics that Mistress Baton would attend I couldn’t say no (in addition to the fact I love to rope bunny and spend time with Rabbit of course).
In the week leading up to the clinic, my mental health declined to a point that I felt convinced people couldn’t possibly like me. The pressures in my daily life had made me feel so insecure that I even thought Rabbit would regret having me upon arrival even though there’d been no indication of this.
I tried to ignore the depressive cloud that was distorting my reality and thankfully on the day, being a rope bunny helped put a lot of my anxieties at ease. Rope can be very calming and Rabbit’s usual signs of affection and banter counteracted my false perception of reality. Additionally, Sally, Mistress Victoria Vixen and Mistress Baton were interested in talking to me and soon enough I realised I was in a safe space.
Driving down I had toyed with the potential of getting caned. I knew I wanted to meet Mistress Baton and felt intrigued for a reason I couldn’t quite explain but I didn’t know if it was because I actually desired to get caned. Then I met her and realised she’s a very authentic person, who can make jokes, is interested, kind and excited about everything to do with kink. She seemed keen to learn rope and always ensured she tied it tightly, living up to her sadistic side. We discovered we could speak Afrikaans and Dutch together and by mid afternoon, I couldn’t help but feel a desire to get caned by her.
Then when Mistress Baton mentioned she still had three canes upstairs, an hour later I found myself asking if she wanted to cane me.
She agreed and after Rabbit, Mistress Baton and I had gone for dinner during which Rabbit tried to tease (or bully!) me into getting punished harder, Mistress Baton reassured me we could go at any severity level I’d like.
I really didn’t know how much pain I would be able to take. In the two weeks leading up to that, I’d seen several pictures of various bottoms that Mistress Baton caned and I knew Rabbit was still marked. I wondered if maybe I had been a masochistic fraud all along. What if despite my current desire, I wouldn’t be able to take any pain at all? Near the end of my dynamic with Roxy, I still desired to play with her but couldn’t stand even five hits of whichever tool she held.
A caning by Mistress Baton
I undressed in Rabbit’s living room, while Mistress Baton took out the canes and asked which one I wanted to try, with Rabbit encouraging us (or me, really) on.
I don’t remember how we picked the one that Mistress Baton used first, but apparently, it was the one Rabbit disliked the most.
Mistress Baton marked the area of my bum she could hit by carving two lines into my skin with her nails. Her sharp nails surprised, which instantly turned me on. At the same time, knowing she was marking the area where she could hit me made me feel safe. Just a moment later I found myself closing my eyes, nervous in anticipation of her first hit.
I felt the sting of the cane and the corners of my mouth curled into a smile.
“Oh, that was fine,” I think I said, surprised that it didn’t hurt as much as I’d anticipated and to be fair, she was just hitting light at this point.
“Would you like to feel more?”
“Yes, please.”
We went through a variety of severity levels, starting with light, followed by light-medium, to medium and then hard.
With every hit, my excitement built. While the first 6 to 12 strokes are generally painful, the adrenaline takes over quickly after that. I felt in awe of the accuracy of Mistress Baton’s strokes. When she said she’d deliver 6 light-medium strokes they all felt like they were of that same level of severity.
I felt very safe which allowed my body and mind to relax and focus solely on the sensation.
The longer we went on, the more I felt like I wanted to jump around in joy like I could be flying through the treetops on a sunny afternoon. (I suppose it probably looked nothing like that as I generally go very still when I get caned, but in my mind I was there!)
Rabbit was filming the caning, which can be viewed here, and suggested I should take some judicial strokes, and added: “Come on, you can’t say that getting a judicial caning from Mistress Baton hasn’t been on your wishlist.” (I mean really, she’s become my spokesperson who knows what I want before I manage to speak my mind because ultimately, she was right.)
It’d been so long since I received a judicial stroke and I never thought I would voluntarily (or unless paid really well) want to feel one again. I growled out softly in pain when she hit me and simultaneously felt the arousal between my legs grow. It felt incredible to reconnect with my masochistic side in this way. And when Mistress Baton couldn’t quite hide the excitement in her own voice about using a specific cane, I just wanted to lay down and submit my bottom until it bled (which, spoiler alert: it did a little).
The sensible side of me had to fight really hard against my desire to continue for longer than we did. It was Friday night and I had a caning session scheduled with a client on Monday.
I took satisfaction in the promise that we’ll get to play (and film) again next time she’s in the UK and I’ll make sure there’ll be no reason to have to hold back next time.
After caning me, I watched Mistress Baton cane Rabbit and couldn’t stop staring. Her swing looked so powerful, while Rabbit’s visible enjoyment and simultaneous pain made me feel happy and grateful that we were sharing this experience. I filmed it, which can be viewed here. Additionally, you can purchase a severe caning clip of Mistress Baton and Rabbit on this store.
That evening, some more spanking and fun ensued and the next morning I heard the sexiest Afrikaans I ever heard and never could have imagined I could be so turned on by it.
I guess it’s safe to say I can’t wait until Mistress Baton’s next visit comes around!
Xx Mila