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Content warning: Mention of blood and needles.
(Pictures will be hidden, however. You can choose whether you want to see them.)
After getting rather bruised from shooting a cp video on a Friday a little while ago, I sent Roxy a picture. She didn’t reply that day but when we next spoke on the phone she said seeing it had made her want to put needles in my butt and spank me afterwards. The idea immediately excited me, but she’d considered doing it on Saturday and it was Monday by now. On Saturday morning she’d fallen back asleep because she’d just finished working six days in a row. I was a little sad about the missed opportunity but felt my desire was selfish and that her sleep was more important. I said to her that it was good she’d gone back to sleep.
“Why, you don’t want me to put needles in you?” she said, sounding a little disappointed.
No, that’s not what I meant! I explained it to her and said that I might still be bruised next weekend and that we could do it then. The week passed and Saturday came but my bruises had miraculously healed. Nevertheless, needles were going to happen and I found myself getting rather excited in the days leading up, more so than I usually would.
On Saturday, I wasn’t feeling great. I didn’t know when Roxy would come over and time seemed to stretch endlessly. Great, she’s going to get here and I’m going to be stuck in this stupid mindset again, is where my thoughts were at. Eventually, she texted me with about an hour and a half heads up. I had already cleaned the flat, though specifically ensured I’d done all the dishes this time, thinking she might use the sink and would appreciate it. I braided my hair, which is a thing I now do whenever I see her but I didn’t know what to wear.
Frankly, it probably doesn’t matter what I wear as I mostly end up naked. However, I feel like I’ve constantly been choosing the same outfits over lockdown, whereas before I experimented at least a little (or maybe that was because of Philip, who knows and who cares?) I thought about wearing my yellow trousers, which I absolutely love but haven’t worn since lockdown because they feel a little out there, as in they’re bright yellow so they’ll draw attention. (I know that realistically I’m the only person in the world who thinks so, but hey.) I decided to wear them because I wanted to look a little nice and figured she’d tell me if she didn’t like them (which is nicer to find out at home than in public). I wanted to wear a top that I rarely wear for similar reasons but love, but it wouldn’t go with my collar. I had also made the decision to wear my collar on beforehand for the first time, rather than waiting for her to put it on. This felt scary because I feel shy about seeming too eager and somehow I worry that it could upset her (obviously very irrational but the fear is still real!) Underneath my clothes, I decided to wear nice panties but without the matching bra (didn’t want to go too overboard…) and when I walked to the train station to pick her up I decided I should offer to carry her bag.
In conclusion, I really wanted to please her and be a good slave. This desire has been rather strong recently and feels very good.
I was 10 minutes early at the train station because I’d gone to the shop for milk first and this had taken less time than expected. I tend to stay off the platforms because of corona but when her train had arrived and she didn’t come out I felt compelled to check. She must think I’m late, I thought and seeing her check her phone in the distance I knew I was right. Of course, I appeared just on time and all was good, but I could feel my mind drift towards my depressive thoughts. Maybe she’s not happy to see you. She looks tired and now she has to deal with you.
I used to visit one of my best friends in Germany every holiday I had the chance. She would always pick me up from the train station and we’d go straight to her car without saying much or giving each other a hug. She was very pragmatic about getting home and acted as if we had only just seen each other so there was no need for a greeting. This initial meeting always made me feel like I was a bother and that maybe I shouldn’t be around. Obviously, I was simply insecure and I recognise that this still happens with other people nowadays, including Roxy. And so I didn’t listen to those thoughts and hoped that my mind would fix itself after a little while.
On the way home I kept looking at the ground. This was because I wore my coat without a scarf, meaning you couldn’t see my collar with my jacket closed but you could if I looked up (I’d seen it in the mirror before). I was really conscious that she’d see the collar, which makes no sense considering she would see it anyway and I was specifically wearing it for her but I felt shy about it. So when we entered my flat I first boiled the kettle and did something else before finally taking off my coat.
I pretended I wasn’t aware of my collar and she didn’t respond to it either. I even specifically looked in another direction at the moment I imagine she would have looked at my collar.
I mentioned that I hadn’t turned on the heating today as it was quite warm outside but that I would be happy to turn it on if she wanted me to. (Usually, I know she wants me to turn the heating on).
“Better turn it on now as you will be naked for quite some while,” she said.
Ha… well, I hadn’t thought of that.
We chatted a bit and my mind started to settle. Then, much sooner than usual she said it was time to put some needles in me.
In the living room, she told me to take off my clothes and to fold them into a neat pile (it had been a while since she specifically mentioned that I should fold my clothes into a neat pile). No matter how many times she’s told me to take off my clothes I always feel as self-conscious about it as the very first time. And so naturally, I smile and tell myself to stop smiling but I can’t because I’m nervous (in a good way). I took off my top first and fumbled with it a little too long, which left me wondering if she’d be annoyed and wanted me to hurry up or whether she was amused because I was obviously nervous. I quickly glanced over several times but the whole way through she managed to keep a straight face. Is that part of being a Domme? I wondered. I know I wouldn’t be able to keep it together, I mean, duh, you aren’t keeping it together, stop smiling!
I had to fight the impulse of wanting to turn away and hide as I took off my clothes. She obviously wants to see you take off your clothes, stop being so shy! My trousers followed, then my tank top, my socks and finally my panties. I finished the neat pile and felt like I wanted to run over and kneel at her feet already (the safe place where I don’t have to worry or feel shy anymore!) and when I looked up she finally smiled. I knew then that it was okay and that she also wanted to see me. Our eagerness matched and I felt happy and safe.
“What a difference to last time,” she said as she lifted my braid with her hand. “You’ve been listening. And you already had your collar on which shows you’re ready.”
I felt happy, relieved and acknowledged, especially in regards to the collar. So she did notice and she liked it!
She started playing with my left nipple and pulled at it until she got a response. Then her hand reached for my right nipple and I thought: please don’t touch that nipple… wait… I… ended up cutting it with my razor blade this morning and wow the bleeding after taking a needle out of a nipple is nothing compared to… lol. She squeezed my right nipple until I almost jumped up and all the while she kept looking at me. It seemed like we were engaging in a sort of game and as if she was challenging me. She started playing with both nipples and pulled me closer, while I tried to stay where I was, thinking: Am I not supposed to move? Is that what this is? Or maybe I just shouldn’t complain and let her use me as she likes? I mean, happily so, this challenge is an easy one! Please play with me, Mistress.
She told me to lie down on my stomach on the bed, then said: “If you have any thoughts, let them go, as there’s nowhere else for you to go right now.” As you may be aware, I have been struggling a lot with my mental health and she clearly intended to possibly help me by doing this scene too. It made me feel warm inside when she said it and I’d already been one step ahead of her. As soon as I kneeled at her feet and she smiled I was able to let go. All that mattered to me at that moment was being there with her. And now, my nerves for the needles slowly crept back in, in a positive way.
The first needle stung a lot; I was surprised by how much it hurt. My hands curled into fists. I don’t remember needles to be so painful!
Roxy didn’t really pause and immediately after I could hear her open the next needle.
The third one followed, then the fourth and the fifth. I clenched my teeth and thought of how we once wanted to try out putting needles in my vagina. At that moment, I couldn’t imagine I would ever be able to do something like that.
While I was lying there waiting for the next needle it struck me how safe I felt, however. For this small moment in time, I didn’t need to do anything and while I knew this time was limited it didn’t really matter at that moment. I got the overwhelming feeling of wanting to serve and make her happy. Thank you for making me feel safe, I thought. She inserted the next needle. GODDAMNIT THIS HURTS!
My body jerked up, almost like a spasm.
Every time she’d inserted a needle I told myself to relax, take a deep breath and deal with it. Finally, she paused and left the room to get the lights. I knew she was going to take some pictures. Phew, I was getting a break.
She was following the line of my panties, which meant the needles were going in just above my butt cheeks and just below my lower back. When she finished taking pictures (all of them are available on request on my Onlyfans) she continued by adding needles directly into my butt. Specifically, where my bruise was still mostly visible and my god, it hurt!
I started burying my face in the sheets but would jerk up whenever she pierced my skin. I wondered if she thought I was making a fuss or was rather enjoying this response. I think she mentioned that if it hurt me she only wanted to do it more, which definitely aroused me. I lost track of where she was putting the needles in my body. I had no idea how many had gone in, where exactly they were and how many we had left to go.
She then put one in near my shoulder, which hurt even more. Whenever she inserted a new needle in me it was hard for me to know when it was fully in, as it seemed like she made one needle go into my skin twice. That is, in fact, what she did on my shoulders. She made some sort of spiral (which is also visible in the header of this post).
I don’t think Roxy had pre-planned exactly what pattern she was going to make. The only thing that was certain was that she was going to use all the needles I had and he result was the following.
I was grateful to get a break once more as she took pictures of the result. Then, of course, the needles had to come out. “It’s better to do it quickly,” she said upon hearing my moan when she pulled the first one out.
“Yes, Mistress,” I said with clenched teeth.
She started pulling them out quickly and blood came out.
“I think I’m bleeding!” I sounded a bit alarmed because I could feel it roll off my skin.
“Yes, you are.” She sounded excited on the other hand, and that made me relax again.
Once they’d all come out, she took a few more pictures.
When she put the camera away, I knew she was going to spank me. Ever since we filmed a custom with putting needles in my butt, Roxy has gotten very excited about doing it again so that she could slap me and make the blood spatters go everywhere. Something primal seems to come out when blood appears and I love it because she likes it so much!
Getting spanked just after having had needles in me, however, is rather sore, to say the least. She spanked me on both buttcheeks for a bit first but eventually ended up spanking the same spot over and over and over and over and over and over, and oveeeeeer for what felt like absolutely endless! I don’t think she’d ever hit me in the same spot without a break that many times before. (Are we slowly increasing the amount over time?!) Of course, the butt cheek she hit was the right one. As she was hitting me, I saw blood appear on the wall. I briefly wondered if I should tell her, but decided it was too late now anyway.
Finally, she stopped.
“I think you need a shower.”
I turned over and looked at her with a pouty face.
“No really, you need a shower.”
I made an exaggerated sigh but smiled. I was feeling great.
While I took a shower, Roxy put some kale in the oven. I dressed and when she sat down on the couch, I kneeled back at her feet. After a little while, she asked me if I wanted to come sit with her and hug her, to which I naturally said: “Yes, please!”
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