On New Year’s Eve, I asked Roxy if we would play tonight. I thought we might but it would have been okay if we didn’t; I was happy enough that we were together but she said we would, she was wearing her belt. “Great,” I said quite nonchalantly, conscious about not wanting to seem too excited (I was very excited, obv). Twelve ‘o clock came and we celebrated the new year and maybe around 2 or 3 am, Roxy told me to get the rope from her bag. Having to go collect the items that she’s going to use in our scene is a recurring theme and it adds something in terms of anticipation and underlines my role as the slave as well. It didn’t have a lot of effects the very first time when she made me get handcuffs while she was bathing in my bath and that’s because I didn’t allow myself to feel it. It appears that I feel safe enough to give in to that feeling nowadays!
Before collecting the rope she had made it quite clear that she was going to tie me to the massage table. Therefore, every minute until she actually tied me to the table I was building up anticipation. The walk to the other room, the small moment it took to grab the rope and the walk back gave me time to settle into my submission and when I handed her the rope I felt quite grounded in it. Normal me who could’ve otherwise held a casual conversation was too focused on slave duty now. While Roxy was gathering things, all I could do was wait for her to tell me what to do.
Then she pointed at the massage table. Every time we play she tends to start off with a non-verbal gesture, which is rather powerful. There’s no need to talk or ask questions because it’s clear what’s happening and expected. I lied down on my front and she started tying my legs and arms to the legs of the massage table, paying great attention to ensure my tiny wrists couldn’t slip out. The rest of our scene is a little more blurry to me.
As promised, she took off her belt knowing my bottom could be marked for the following two weeks. The sting of the belt is something to be felt! I turned my head to the side so there wasn’t much for me to see; I wanted to stay in the moment and experience it without distraction. My bottom felt warm pretty quickly and Roxy changed my focus to something else when she suddenly bit me, provoking a far louder groan than when she hit me. I never liked biting (which is why I do like biting) and it’s a surefire way to wake me up.
She switched between the belt, drawing lines with her nails and biting and out of nowhere, she started dripping wax on my back. It quite instantly felt overwhelmingly pleasant and I remember thinking I should move a little to acknowledge I could feel it. I have never done any proper wax play with someone so I was quite happy she’d thrown that into the mix, but it stopped fairly quickly and the belt returned instead. (Sadist and masochist; candles are obviously not good enough, haha.)
Over the course of the scene as she was hitting me the belt started to hurt more. After the whipping, I told her it was quite interesting/fun/painful if she hit me in the same spot over and over and she made sure I knew she’d listened. When something becomes quite painful I start trying to get away (as any normal person would) and when I did Roxy would tell me to stay still and take it. My mind started to battle with my body. Her order echoed through my head and my thoughts were controlling my body to comply.
Stay still. Stay still. A deep sting pierced into my skin and my hands curled into fists. My body’s flight response was automatically activated but I stopped it in its tracks. Stay still. But after a few hits, my body won from my mind and I’d struggle again. Roxy repeated not to move and take it. I went through this cycle a few times and then at one point, I mastered it. All I had to do was take a deep breath and I could stay completely still while she hit me. I could still feel it but it wasn’t as hard to take anymore. For every hit, I felt like I was actively pleasing her. Tension released from my body and I felt like I was able to let go a little; I had submitted completely.
It was only a while after our scene ended that I realised how sore my bottom was. While she untied me as I still laid on the table I asked her if we could please hug for a while. “Of course,” she said. I mean I knew we would but something in me felt like I needed it, perhaps even more so than usual. I slipped out of the now loosened rope before she finished untying and we ended up on the couch where we hugged for a little while.
Happy new year indeed.