“I would very much appreciate an artistic photo of a body part: Thursday belly button.”
Whereas my ideas came fairly easily to mind for Mon-Wed, I was a bit lost for this one. I never really think about belly buttons; they’re there and that’s fine but I don’t feel a specific appeal for them. I do quite like how the circle of needles I made around mine turned out, but having already done that, now blocked my inspiration. In my mind, there weren’t many tools to use in this area of my body and so I ended up thinking about a marker pen. Maybe I could simply write something around that area… Something poetic, perhaps? Roxy likes poetry.
I actually don’t read a lot of poetry. I sometimes find it hard to tune into them, feeling like I can’t quite understand what the author means. People say you don’t have to understand what the author means but I do like to find some sort of meaning in what I read. I want to feel and for me, it’s kind of a hit and miss with poetry. During the first year of my undergraduate degree, I was required the follow the module, ‘introduction to poetry’. I was partly excited because I did use to write poetry and partly dreading it because I was here to write prose.
For creative writing assignments, we always had to submit part prose or poetry (poetry in this case) plus a critical commentary. A critical commentary is like an English Literature essay except you analyse your own writing by comparing it to other sources, backing your findings up with such and drawing on texts and things discussed in class to show what you learned and how you used that. It’s an art in and of itself, to be honest. It’s still very different from your typical English essay but I mastered it fairly well.
Anyhow, I needed to analyse some poems so that I could demonstrate I learned x from them and used this to write the poems I was submitting. Now, I hadn’t read the poetry collection (Staying Alive) past the ones we’d discussed in class so very selectively searched for the ones that did what I had done (which is kind of a reversal but you only have to convince your teacher you did it in the right way). I effectively opened the book at random and was hoping the perfect poem would appear. The first poem I found this way was Yearn on by Katie Donovan and as I started reading it I was completely captivated. This poem expressed all the pain and agony I felt over losing Miss Lisa. It instantly became my favourite poem.
Texts can change meaning over time; it’s something I often notice in song lyrics. So while at first this poem was exclusively linked to Lisa, this changed. To me this poem on one hand represents loss but on the other a deep passion for and connection with someone, as well as dedication. For me, those things are central to how I feel towards a Mistress as a slave. That’s why I ended up choosing to use these lines.
“I want your skin
to yearn for the soft lure of mine;
I want those hints of red on your canvas
to deepen in passion for me”
– Katie Donovan
(Read the full poem here)
I thought I could either write it from left to write as one tends to do or write it around my belly button in a spiral. My friend pointed out it might be hard to read if I did that, so I went for the left to the right option. It really didn’t look that special and a little boring perhaps, but I’d just spend all day doing these tasks (I did this one last) so I was a little tired and just wanted to get this over with.
As I was taking pictures I was lying on the floor close to a cupboard against the wall waiting for the timer of my camera to reach 0. As the timer was counting down I must have moved and touched the cupboard because something fell and hit my face. My vision went from colour to black to white and then I opened my eyes. My thoughts quickly raced from, oh god what happened? to it’s alright, that hurt but you’re alive, to oh, there’s blood shit, to it’s fine it’s just a little injury until I got to the mirror and saw my lip. It had a massive gap.
A tiny little bit came off my tooth and I remember identifying which one it was because I took it out. Unlike you might expect, the piece came off one of my bottom teeth but it wasn’t particularly big so I was hoping it may be fine. The first thing I did then was text Liam.
Liam: Yes?? It always unsettles me when people use my name haha
Me: Do lips
Me: Heal on their own?
Liam: It depends on the damage. What have you done?
I sent him a picture
Me: Do I
Me: Call someone lol
He copy-pasted some NHS advice, which said you should call if bleeding doesn’t stop after 10 minutes, if a cut may need stitches, if the cut is long or deep or if something is embedded within the cut or the cut is on the mouth, face, hand or genitals. If any of these apply go to an urgent care centre or A&E as soon as possible. The cut looked deep to me and hadn’t stopped bleeding after 10 minutes so…
Me: Shit okay so
Me: Who do I call? It’s Sunday
Me: Fuck me have I ruined
Me: My mouth
Liam: You haven’t ruined your mouth. Worst case slight scar. Your teeth are alright, right?
Me: fml fml lol
I put on some clothes and returned to the living room where I crouched in front of the mirror as I was on hold for about 30 minutes. I then spoke to someone who said someone would call me back shortly.
Liam: The trick is don’t panic
Me: Yeah, no point in panicking
Me: The woes of me
Liam: Blog post, the day my kink put me in the hospital
Me: Don’t make me laugh I’m not allowed to move my mouth
They called me 30 minutes later. I asked them if I needed to go to the bigger hospital an hour away but they said I could go to my local smaller one, which was just a 7-minute cycle away. I could be seen there in 1.5 hours and so I spend the rest of my time trying to convince myself my lip would be okay. Anyhow, that was the end of my attempt to capture my belly button.
I didn’t think I was going to re-do this prompt because I did have a picture to show and it took me a two days to get over the shot and then had a caning. But on the Thursday I was supposed to send her the pictures I suddenly felt like I could do something more creative. The line “hints of red on your canvas” had made me want to use red in some way and so the idea of wax came to me. What if I made a circle in which the middle would be the deepest part of red, and make the outer circles slightly lighter. I could then write the poem around it in a spiral. I don’t know, it felt symbolic.
I wrote the lines down on a piece of paper, lied down on a towel on the floor and lit the candle- then started pouring the wax. I always forget that candle wax actually hurts. Somehow in my mind, it’s only sensual and pleasant (and it is,) but it does hurt a little too. I started by pouring wax into my belly button. Maybe covering it with wax wasn’t entirely what she meant because it kind of hid it but I just really wanted to try it out. After I sort of accomplished with the wax what I’d set out to do I started writing the text on top of it, which was quite a challenge. Writing on wax isn’t a problem but writing on wax when it’s scattered around and doesn’t entirely cover your skin is a bit more difficult.
I ended up sending her both attempts as the second one was indeed hard to read, but it satisfied my creativity!
Poetry, submission and pain are so seductive to me. Keep on in this direction https://t.co/BVaGmjGWZN
— Mistress Roxy Elixir (@RoxyElixir) July 3, 2020