I never really thought of what a service sub is because I think all submissives (and dominants) are doing things in service of each other. A submissive kneeling in front of their dominant is a very clear sign of service; wearing a collar too is in service of. On the other hand, a dominant taking care of their submissive is in service of them. For me in the past, specifically, Lois would make me feel useful, which is something I needed and was therefore in service of her slave.
I think one of the most important things for me is always being available. If my Mistress and I were sitting on the couch watching come casual television and she suddenly had the desire to fuck me then I’ll be available whether I’m in the mood or not. In my online dynamic this obviously never happened, but Lois used me whenever anyway. For one, I never knew or decided when she’d show up or when she’d use me. In another sense, she often made me do things I initially wasn’t in the mood for such as getting out of bed at 8 am to take naked pictures. A more striking example would be when I felt so depressed that on my own I couldn’t really move but she’d make me, somehow. It’s not like I would feel better because of this; I was more like a puppet whose strings were being pulled while my mind resided elsewhere but I was available for her to use.
Other people may think that Lois was a bit cruel but I loved her (not in the romantic sense) for using me whenever she wanted. I want to make my Mistress happy no matter what, so by her using me no matter what, I could do that. Additionally, the fact that she used me whenever reassured me that all of me was okay. I always worry that I’m not good enough when I’m depressed but this showed me that every part of me was equally good and useful.
An object to use
Always being available can also be taken to a different level. Some people identify as sexual slaves which means they can be used sexually whenever and in whatever way their Dominant (and perhaps others in extension) pleases. If this is the case, you kind of turn into nothing more than an object to use and at times, Lois liked using me like that too. She wanted me to feel like I was exactly that, just an object for her to play with, whenever she wanted and however she wanted. Sometimes to emphasise this she would come online, tell me to put my hood on and masturbate for her and as soon as I was done she’d leave. At first, this felt really strange but later it was just kind of a thing. It didn’t bother me and it didn’t make me particularly happy, but I liked that she could use me like that if she wanted to.
Everything I did was in service of
The way I started presenting myself (dressing more feminine), eating healthy, being polite (for example, she once set the rule that I should always say yes please, instead of yes, to other people-though I already did)or trying my hardest in everything I did (from playing football to writing essays-which to be fair, I also already did). In a way, all of me was focussed on making her happy and serving her. If I was walking on the street I wanted to walk with my back straight, head held up high and look confident, which was in service of her.
At a certain point, Lois taught me to be more pro-active, rather than only being reactive. Most of us submissives are pretty good at being reactive; we do the things our Dominant tells us to. In addition to that, Lois wanted me to start anticipating her needs and desires more. Examples of these could be taking sexy pictures without needing to be told, thinking of ways she could torture me (ugh!) or wearing heels without her needing to tell me.
What this meant was that she no longer had to watch the fine details so closely and could instead focus on other things she wanted to do with me. I suppose part of ‘completing’ training is for your submissive to have become a certain way. It allowed our dynamic to become more organic and by this point, fewer questions needed to be asked. A lot depends on trust in a dynamic; even if we’d been living together there would have been moments that she’d been out and I would have needed to do my task whether she’d be watching or not. Active service is also that, doing the things you’re told to without the need for a Dominant to make sure you have.
Lastly, I believe that serving also has to do a lot with being receptive, which I wrote about here.
Xx Marie Louise