Always Ready to Serve

I never really thought of what a service sub is because I think all submissives (and dominants) are doing things in service of each other. A submissive kneeling in front of their dominant is a very clear sign of service; wearing a collar too is in service of. On the other hand, a dominant taking care of their submissive is in service of them. For me in the past, specifically, Lois would make me feel useful, which is something I needed and was therefore in service of her slave.

Being available

I think one of the most important things for me is always being available. If my Mistress and I were sitting on the couch watching come casual television and she suddenly had the desire to fuck me then I’ll be available whether I’m in the mood or not. In my online dynamic this obviously never happened, but Lois used me whenever anyway. For one, I never knew or decided when she’d show up or when she’d use me. In another sense, she often made me do things I initially wasn’t in the mood for such as getting out of bed at 8 am to take naked pictures. A more striking example would be when I felt so depressed that on my own I couldn’t really move but she’d make me, somehow. It’s not like I would feel better because of this; I was more like a puppet whose strings were being pulled while my mind resided elsewhere but I was available for her to use.

Other people may think that Lois was a bit cruel but I loved her (not in the romantic sense) for using me whenever she wanted. I want to make my Mistress happy no matter what, so by her using me no matter what, I could do that. Additionally, the fact that she used me whenever reassured me that all of me was okay. I always worry that I’m not good enough when I’m depressed but this showed me that every part of me was equally good and useful. 

An object to use

Always being available can also be taken to a different level. Some people identify as sexual slaves which means they can be used sexually whenever and in whatever way their Dominant (and perhaps others in extension) pleases. If this is the case, you kind of turn into nothing more than an object to use and at times, Lois liked using me like that too. She wanted me to feel like I was exactly that, just an object for her to play with, whenever she wanted and however she wanted. Sometimes to emphasise this she would come online, tell me to put my hood on and masturbate for her and as soon as I was done she’d leave. At first, this felt really strange but later it was just kind of a thing. It didn’t bother me and it didn’t make me particularly happy, but I liked that she could use me like that if she wanted to.

Everything I did was in service of

The way I started presenting myself (dressing more feminine), eating healthy, being polite (for example, she once set the rule that I should always say yes please, instead of yes, to other people-though I already did)or trying my hardest in everything I did (from playing football to writing essays-which to be fair, I also already did). In a way, all of me was focussed on making her happy and serving her. If I was walking on the street I wanted to walk with my back straight, head held up high and look confident, which was in service of her.

Active submission

At a certain point, Lois taught me to be more pro-active, rather than only being reactive. Most of us submissives are pretty good at being reactive; we do the things our Dominant tells us to. In addition to that, Lois wanted me to start anticipating her needs and desires more. Examples of these could be taking sexy pictures without needing to be told, thinking of ways she could torture me (ugh!) or wearing heels without her needing to tell me.

What this meant was that she no longer had to watch the fine details so closely and could instead focus on other things she wanted to do with me. I suppose part of ‘completing’ training is for your submissive to have become a certain way. It allowed our dynamic to become more organic and by this point, fewer questions needed to be asked. A lot depends on trust in a dynamic; even if we’d been living together there would have been moments that she’d been out and I would have needed to do my task whether she’d be watching or not. Active service is also that, doing the things you’re told to without the need for a Dominant to make sure you have.

Lastly, I believe that serving also has to do a lot with being receptive, which I wrote about here.

Xx Mila

22 Replies to “Always Ready to Serve”

  1. askmefast

    ML your posts are always a delight to read. What stood out to me was the transition from passive service to active service and your confidence in anticipating your Mistress. Like a natural evolution of the dynamic.

    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      Thank you Askmefast, you’ve put a smile on my face this morning. Writing about this dynamic and things surrounding it has also made me feel quite fascinated with how things can work and progress. Yay for self reflection? Haha

  2. missy

    A great post ML and I really like the way you have given examples to illustrate the various types of service you are writing about. I think that being able to anticipate is a real skill and it is always nice in a relationship where you get that point

  3. May More

    Being proactive rather than reactive is a very impressive quality in any relationship – but yes it does involve trust. You need to be confident that what you are doing is required, not just what u think is required. I think Lois taught you a lot of really positive things – stuff that will help in your life, in general.

    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      Yes May, I think so too. I think it’ll be beneficial for me for the rest of my life and in the next things to come. And I definitely agree. It’s scary to be proactive isn’t it? Because it means you can always make a mistake. But they say the best way to learn is to make mistakes so we shouldn’t be afraid at all!

    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      I think the fact that I found an interest in rope, go for walks now and started reading philosophical things now shows how easily my desires adapt… because she mentioned liking those things. And while I, for example, do enjoy reading literature like that, I never really took the time to actually do it and yet now… She didn’t even tell me to or mentioned it for me to start, I just started doing it. And you know what, it feels great! So me too, can’t wait

  4. David Proctor

    I really admire your commitment to your MLSPupper journey, moving past your reluctance and fear, embracing whatever task you’ve been given, and seeking the learnings and gifts in the experience. You have moved from being a passive receptacle into being an active participant and self-initiator. Brava!

  5. Never Waste a Dirty Mind

    Dear Marie Louise,

    An interesting piece!

    The best relationships are those where both give what they can, and neither is keeping score of who is giving most. The start of keeping score is often the end of the relationship.

    D/s relationships are different, because the parties give in different currencies and you cannot really compare. On the surface, it looks like the submissive is all giving and the dominant is all taking. And it is true that the submissive gives all the things you list and discuss: Obedience, service, suffering and pleasure, just to mention some of the most central parts.

    But what the casual observer does not see is that the dominant gives the submissive the gift of a structure of rules and rituals that most submissives crave. The rules may be negotiated, but it is often the dominant who has to sit down and define them and make sure they are practical and livable and don’t set the submissive up to fail. The submissive also relies on the dominant to enforce the rules and, in a way, it is the submissive who decides when enforcement has to take priority over everything else, by deciding to break the rules. It is also the dominant who has to be creative and plan and direct scenes and tasks. The submissive may say: “Use me, I will do whatever you want!” That leaves the dominant with the task of building a custom “amusement park” for the submissive, by continuing to come up with new and exciting experiences that keeps things fresh and allow the submissive to grow.

    Miss Lois gave you all of this and more still. I know you realize that and are grateful for that. She gave you a structure and pushed you and used you and made you discover things about yourself. There was always a goal and a reason for what she did. I am sure she had worked out a plan for each non-trivial interaction. She didn’t just start a scene without forethought or an idea of where she was going to take it and what it would do for and to you. And from what you have written, she was extremely good at reading you and giving you not just what you needed in the here-and-now, but also to make you explore and grow as a submissive and a person.

    In a smaller way, Roxy gives you tasks. Yes, you are the one who has to do them and suffer any pain involved, but she has to think about it and be creative and decide what is feasible and what is not going to be boring to you or push you too hard. She gives you the gift of her creativity.

    I am not complaining that being the dominant is a tough and selfless exercise. It is a true joy to experience the magic moments where you get to take the submissive somewhere the submissive didn’t expect and see the submissive grow.

    So, as I said, it is two different currencies. They are impossible to measure against each other. And they should not be. We each would not want to receive what we are giving the other (except for switches). Do unto others what you want them to do to you does not apply here. So, we should just appreciate the gifts we give each other as dominants and submissives and not try to keep score.

    All the best,

    P.S. and you can say ugh! all you want about having to come up with ways to torture yourself, but we both know you are a masochist who wouldn’t want to miss out on the torture.

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