(I’m currently relying on scheduled posts because of work and uni and football and planning classes and… I expect to be less busy on the weekend and will catch up with blog things! Am certainly excited to relax and read some sex-related posts and see some Feb-fest pictures, hehe. In the meantime, thank you for all your kind comments. I really appreciate it ♥)
The last few posts from my chronologically ordered training with Miss Lois mention that my mood wasn’t all that good. This appeared to be a pattern at the time and I pointed this out to Miss Lois who agreed and suggested I needed to check my medication. I was trying new antidepressants as the others had been unsuccessful so far. Story of my life.
I was in a particularly negative mood that day. She tried to talk to me but I wasn’t very receptive. All that was coming out of me were pretty desperate thoughts. In fact, I was literally going into breakdown saying how everything was useless or worthless and that there hadn’t been any point in the end because she’d give up on me, my local friends didn’t care (I mean they kinda don’t lol) and my parents… well… parents, ha. (At this moment time we were still months off until Dad finally acknowledged my depression and became supportive.)
She tried to talk reason into me but it clearly wasn’t working so finally she only said, “put a tiny bit of wasabi on your butt plug and put it in.”
I worried for a second as I knew she had said that she’d have to leave quite soon that day and I didn’t want to keep her but then a command like that instantly changes something in me. The most important thing becomes serving her and my thoughts take a seat in the back. I sent her a picture of the butt plug with the wasabi and then put it in my butt.
I hate wasabi. It was quite painful and burned a lot once it was inserted. It’s different from ginger but I can’t put my finger on it. The wasabi is very sharp though.
Of course, she wanted to know how wet I was, which wasn’t very, actually. Though I was on my period and things always feel different then. She told me to take a picture of myself then, in my satin gown and with my boots on. By seeing my face, I can tell I’m really not feeling well, but I had been taught to always smile so…
I was a little bit wetter after this. Miss Lois knew that taking pictures of myself makes me wet, though I always disliked taking pictures whenever she told me to so I don’t know what my body was on about!
“Kneel down on all fours and make a video of yourself licking your stilettos clean with of much of you in the video frame as possible.”
“The nose of the stilettos, Miss?”
“The nose yes.
The whole shoe actually.”
The whole shoe? Did that mean I should pick it up or something? And did she mean both shoes? Also… licking? I’d read about the act of licking the dominant’s shoes in erotica a few times but never felt any appeal for it.
“Is this ok?”
“I want you in the frame completely. Boots, ass and head.”
I was always someone that avoided saying ass, and would instead say butt. Instead of saying boobs I’d say breasts. Instead of saying vagina I’d say, down there. It felt like Miss Lois was purposefully always calling things the way I didn’t like to call them, but then again, maybe she just did because it’s normal to call them that. I was just a little strange.
By now she had, of course, said that I was supposed to lick them on the floor, no picking up. I mean, what was I thinking? Duh.
I was surprised by how embarrassed I felt, as well as exposed, having to push my head all the way down to the floor in order to reach the shoes. I felt very conscious about the rest of my body and about how awkward I must look.
I paused many times while doing it, which might have been due to anxiety. As my mental health wasn’t doing great I was more prone to anxiety and this having the camera on me while doing this made me very self-conscious and therefore anxious, also. What if I wasn’t doing it right? Is there a specific way to lick shoes?
I sent her the video and asked, without adding a question mark, if this was okay with the number of times I paused. She asked me why I had paused and then if I’d feel better if I got a second chance. I thought it might. She asked me how wet I was once more. Pretty wet this time.
“Put some wasabi on the shoes then do it again.”
No, no, no. This was not what I had been picturing when doing it a second time. Wasabi? Surely that would make me hesitate more. Maybe that was the point? I couldn’t hesitate during my second chance at this; of course, she’d make it harder.
“Where on the shoes Miss?” I tried, hoping it would only cover a small area.
“Distribute it nicely.”
… She hates me. I simply obliged though and showed her a picture of the shoes with the wasabi on it.
“Very good. If you stop this time you will have to do it again.”
What did I say? She hates me? Yes?
I took a deep, deep breath as I looked down upon the shoes in front of me. I can’t hesitate. I can’t hesitate. I leaned down, then paused again. I can’t hesitate. I can’t hesitate. I put the tip of my tongue on the toe of the heel with my eyes closed, bracing myself for that terrible flavour. It tasted much worse than I had anticipated.
Now, I never liked wasabi, it’s not something I use when eating sushi but I believe I have a deep-rooted hatred for it ever since I had to eat crackers with wasabi for one of my football initiations. I can’t stand the smell, I can’t stand the flavour, I can’t stand the sort of strange spiciness it has; I simply hate it.
Shit, I thought. No wait, I have to keep going. I kept my eyes closed for a few seconds as I forced my tongue to lick up the wasabi. I tried my best to ignore the flavour and only focused on the movement of my tongue and forcing it to keep licking the goddamn shoes. I felt like I had to come up for air as if I had gone with my head underwater but I didn’t want to break my rhythm because I didn’t trust myself to get back to it if I did. It was absolutely disgusting. Eight minutes later I finished. Thank god.
Stupid me licked the shoes with my hair in front of my face for about two minutes but I guess it means it can go on OnlyFans, here, though Idk how interesting it is. Miss Lois did get to see the final minute and a half with my face and wow does it look strange, licking shoes like that. Reminds me of a cat somehow.
She asked me how I was feeling which was less panicky and a bit better.
“You have done very well.”
“Thank you Miss.”
Phew, I don’t have to redo it, I can relax now.
“I want you to put a little bit of wasabi on your finger and then make yourself cum. It is up to you if you want to film it but I would enjoy seeing you squirt.”
I wasn’t allowed to take the boots off, nor the gown thingy. I was allowed to use a plastic bag with a towel on top for damage control, aka if I were to squirt a lot. Also, did I mention I hate wasabi? Well, it’s even worse when it’s on my clit! The wasabi has such a stinging sensation with an additional burn that feels like it spreads like fire. Continuously rubbing it and thus spreading it even further only makes it worse.
I went through different stages of pain.
Maybe this would be a fun video to redo for OnlyFans, with a hood on this time? I’ll link to it from Twitter if I do 😉
Ten minutes later, I still hadn’t managed to come; the pain was too intense. “Haven’t cum yet,” I said so as to update, “but I should continue till I do right?”
Six minutes later she asked me if I had cum but I hadn’t… I kept on squirting but that’s as far as I got. I suggested to maybe use a vibrator?
Another ten minutes later and I still couldn’t cum, yet the squirting would not stop: “I feel like the only good damage control could have worked when in the bathtub…”
“I am enjoying myself very much. That is enough.
You can go to bed now.”
It was 1 o’clock and I preferred to try and sleep between 11 and 12 because my sleep is so bad. She knew I was particularly tired that night too and I appreciated that I could finally stop this impossible task of making myself cum. It just doesn’t work when my clit is in too much pain.
I sent her this picture and mentioned that I sent it to my best friend too, hehe. Got to keep up my teasing game.
“Very well done, I like the wet patch.
Wrap it around your face so the wet side covers your face tightly and take a picture.”
But, but… you just said I could go to bed… weren’t we done? Why… ew…
I was allowed to go to bed now and I was feeling fine, a lot lighter and more at peace than before we’d done this. I slept quite well that night.