I’m going to start this post off with a little anecdote.
I had a lot of internet friends when I was younger (guess I am part of the generation that literally grew up with the internet). And two of these friends and I were part of a bigger group of people that were making videos together. Not in person, we all lived in different countries. My friends ran the group and had added me even though I was quite adamant that I’d have no time to make videos with them. Because of this, the joke came about that I was their slave. In fact, all the ‘member’s’ were jokingly seen as ‘slaves’ because my friend running the group would chase everyone when deadlines were coming up and become the big bad boss as no one ever stuck to the deadlines. (I did, by the way. I am very punctual!) We were children though. Well, teenagers, but is there really that much of a difference?
One day my friend made us all these silly icons through a new app that pretty much did it for you and all you had to do was customise the characters a bit. And guess what, she gave my icon a big red collar around her neck. This then again, became a joke until one day I bought a red collar off the internet and send it her way with a single note that said “Tehehe~” and then it turned out that all of this hadn’t been a general joke and that now instead, since I had sent this her way it meant I now belonged to her. And no, she had no idea about BDSM or kink and I had never intended to tell her about it either!
Anecdote aside, I never bought another collar because it never felt right for me to buy my own. I like the idea of having a collar around my neck for play for different reasons, but I never saw it as any of the other kinky toys. Collar’s aren’t just collars to me and I never wanted to buy my own because a collar is quite symbolic, special and important. I hope to be collared by a Mistress one day and to be owned by her and I have longed to have one. Not because of the collar perse, but because of its meaning. Being collared would mean that I’d be owned by my (currently non-existing) Mistress.
When I was reading PainSlutLois’ entire blog quite a lot of months ago, I read that her Mistress Fiona wanted to have a collaring ceremony with her and some of their closest friends. I hadn’t really heard of collaring ceremonies before but I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know what it meant, or rather, what it was like. Since a collar means a lot to me, a collaring ceremony seemed right!
This particular post that she’d written though only mentioned that it had taken place and that it had been good and special. It did say that she was going to write about it in a future post and as I was working my way back through her posts chronologically I assumed I’d soon get to read about it. Sadly, she never did write that post and it left me wondering about what it would be like.
If I picture myself in such a ceremony, I imagine feeling shy, in some way, being presented as the slave. However, far stronger than the slight sense of shyness is the feeling of submission and pride and gratefulness that someone, my imaginary Mistress, would collar me in front of friends. It sounds like a dream!
Later in my dynamic with Miss Lois I started thinking about how I could serve her better, or in what other ways I could possibly make her happy, even if in the far future. Because she hammered it into me that I make her proud by dressing up in an attractive way, or by receiving compliments or glances etc. and because I was reading PainSlutLois’ blog at the time (who wrote about having random sessions with guys that Mistress Fiona arranged, and about serving a group of Mistresses at a party together with other subs), I started thinking about if I could serve other people if I was ordered to do so by Miss Lois.
At first, as with most new kinky things, the idea seemed like an improbability. For the longest time, I felt monogamous and doing something like this didn’t fit in the idea that I had of myself, of who I was, (which is something to laugh about really because being a slave never used to fit into the idea of how I saw myself, haha!) Then over time, I started longing to be (not only collared) by Miss Lois but to also be taken alongside her on a leash attached to the collar, so that she could show me off to other people, or something. (Saying that feels a bit strange because I can’t truly stand behind the idea that I am that great to be shown off, but oh well.)
Thoughts wandering through my mind after was the idea of being a slave or one of the slaves at a party to serve all the guests, not just my Mistress. In some way (I am aware that this might just be my logic and make no sense to anyone else) being able to serve someone else (if through my Mistress) is a challenge and a way to test of how much of a slave I am. In theory, I should have the same qualities serving someone else, right? I do have some limits considering I am a lesbian, but…
My friend attended a type of kinky party the other day, in which he was one of (five? I’m guessing, truly) submissive men wearing only a thong present to serve the guests. According to the person running this event, they were ‘roman style slaves’ (which was all, of course, consensual). They had to stand around with food trays and if one of the women present asked them to do something they had to comply. It meant that my friend ended up being someone’s seat at one point, someone’s toilet, the target of a whip, of slaps etc. This group of people hosts this party once every year, and I suppose an event like this can be called ceremonial too.
I think I’d like to do something like that one day. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, in some way, even if this wasn’t the exact thing I’d pictured. It’s not even like I want this perse, but I want to try it once because I am curious. I think I like the idea of being used without care given, but that it’s temporary? So say if it was through an order given to me by my Mistress, that’d be wonderful. Although I don’t think I necessarily need someone to order me to do it anymore. I’d try it out myself right now, simply out of sheer curiosity but I assume there will be very few lesbian parties like this out there.
I’m not sure what conclusion I’m drawing from the things I just wrote. Wicked Wednesday sparked this post, the prompt being ceremonies and the above is what came up in my mind. I hope to be collared one day and while it’s not necessary, it would be even better if there’d be a collaring ceremony! As for being a slave at a party… I think it’ll happen one day. It’s just a feeling I have.
Do you have any thoughts on this?
(Late upload today due to an early departure for an away football match I played today.)
As mentioned above, this was inspired by “Ceremony” WW#390:
(c) Do not use any of the material on this blog, pictures or content for any form of publication whether fiction, film, psychological research etc. without contacting me and asking me for my permission.