As a child, I used skipping rope for tying, or my leftover shoelaces. It was the easiest to accomplish being restraint. Handcuffs were only things the police used, right? When I got with my ex, we bought one 10-meter rope so we could make under the bed-restraints with it, not realising these exist on their own. We did it twice with rope, then found more convenient under the bed restraints online.
I was never into rope specifically and always saw just it as a form of restraint. I was more interested in being restraint, although I certainly liked the feeling of rope. It can be a little bit uncomfortable, for example. I did appreciate rope from a distance too. There are so many pretty pictures out there of people tied in rope. Even if it’s not necessarily fancy and just someone tied to a bed, it looks nice.
Miss Lois also never seemed that interested in rope and so the only time we or I used it was to make a crotch rope to keep a buttplug in, or something. I like wearing crotch ropes because it can be uncomfortable and also a good reminder. I am interested in body harnesses for that same reason, and of course, they are pretty too.
In October I went to a BDSM 101 workshop where we made rope handcuffs, which was the first time I used rope for something new. Then in November, I went to a rope 101 workshop (about which I’ll write a post sometime soon) and here I got to learn a lot of new things regarding rope. However, one of the things I learned is that rope is a bit too complicated for me haha. I prefer being tied up, although that wasn’t a new revelation!
Since all the things I’ve done with Miss Lois were online, I was never really put in a situation that I couldn’t escape. It was up to me to ensure that I did them or that I stayed ‘restrained’ and so attending a workshop in which I was actually restrained felt really nice.
Just a few days after I had attended this workshop, a message from Fetlife appeared in my inbox (I have email notifications on for certain ‘advertisements’ / ‘people looking for people’ in my area groups). The message came from someone in Scotland who was looking for a rope bunny that was no heavier than 50kg to practise two rope suspensions on. This one and this one. He said that it could be fully clothed and didn’t have to be sexual in any way.
The message sparked my interest. I had just felt what it felt like being restrained properly with rope and these things he wanted to do looked really cool. It’s not something I ever considered being something I’d be able to experience. But here he was, in Scotland, looking for a rope bunny. At the time though, I was around 53kg, and he appeared to still be living quite far away from me. Oh well, I thought.
However, I still sent him, Simon, a message, just to say it seemed interesting, but that because of the distance and perhaps my weight it couldn’t work out. I wished him luck in finding someone but I got a message back that those two things didn’t necessarily have to be a problem. The weight was only because he wanted to be able to carry the person in case a suspension might go wrong and 3kg more wasn’t too bad. He also suggested we could meet up somewhere in the middle or he could come my way.
I believe we talked a bit then before deciding on anything. I also quickly started to realise that I don’t have that much time. I need to be writing a certain amount of words every day, I am tied to the place where I am when football is going on and with my blog, my social life, my internship and work sometimes, it’s quite a full schedule! And so we didn’t really get anything off the ground, mostly because of me.
Last week, I was going to fly out in the evening and I thought it might be possible for us to meet then, during the day as I throw all my other responsibilities out of the window on a day that I have to travel. (The same happens on football match days, but of course, the focus then is football, haha.)
I suggested it and added that instead of only meeting for coffee, we could maybe do some rope afterwards, as it might be a bit far to travel all this way just to get a coffee. He was enthusiastic and started asking around for a space where we might be able to do this in Edinburgh. Quite quickly, he found out that it was possible in Sugar Kane and with my schedule, we’d have two hours for some tying, which was the perfect amount of time for the first time.
We agreed and then I got mostly consumed in my daily life again and only checked which bus I had to take the day before (which is kind of late for me as I get nervous about these things). On the actual day, I didn’t have much time to get nervous about our meeting. I had been in a lot of pain during the night because of my lungs. (In early October I had a chest infection and since I had been getting these weird pains that the doctors, which I saw a total of 7 different times! dismissed.) I had been in so much pain that my dad’s girlfriend, who is a doctor, insisted on calling me and practically begged me to go to the doctor, as she was concerned this might be something serious.
I was a bit worried of course, but I didn’t feel much for going to A&E. It takes hours before you are seen and the doctors didn’t seem to care about my pain. Why would today be different? And if it was going to take so long, would I miss my flight in the evening? At the same time, I also started being worried that I wouldn’t be able to be tied like this, but I knew Simon had already travelled to Edinburgh the day before, so I didn’t want to cancel if this pain might go again (as it kind of came on and off spread over days).
So I forced myself to sleep through the pain and called the doctor at 8 am. They gave me an appointment at 8.30 (thank god I live close to the doctor) and was seen then. I told her about my pain, the concern my dad’s girlfriend had expressed and that I was going to fly tonight. She listened to my chest (which honestly is useless because that’s the only thing they ever do and they never hear anything so why would it be different today?) and concluded that I should be fine, really. She did have me get an x-ray, but when it came back she said I was perfectly healthy and was save to fly.
Well, I thought. I guess it’s fine then. I am not in any real danger and pain is only uncomfortable. Even if it’s really uncomfortable, it’s okay. I went back home and took my packed stuff and then left by bus. I thought I’d tell him about the pain I’d been having but when I got there it wasn’t really hurting anymore, so I saw no reason to mention it since nothing was seriously wrong with me.
By the way, I got there and missed my stop and then didn’t realise I had missed my stop until the bus had passed about seven others and eventually got to the bus station… aaaaah, why did I do this? How did I miss my stop?? I was going to be late now and it stressed me out. I don’t like letting people wait. It’s kind of rude, although I texted him so he knew and he didn’t seem upset about it.
Princess street suddenly felt really, really long. Doesn’t that street always feel too long anyway? Well, it sure does when you’re in a rush and pulling along a suitcase!
By the time I finally got to the cafe where we’d meet I decided to just keep this rush of adrenaline from walking so fast (which did hurt a lot and I was very much out of breath) and to ignore any anxiety I otherwise might have had about meeting someone new.
I did feel a bit self-conscious about being so small. That morning, at the doctor, an old woman talked to me and then said, “oh, I thought you were a first-year student, you look so young.” (It’s a tragedy, truly.) And as he’s pretty much around the same age as my dad, it might be a bit strange? Idk, lol. But as I said, I was in a position in which I could quite easily ignore potential anxiety.
I think I arrived about 10 minutes before we’d planned to go to Sugar Kane and to be honest, we didn’t seem to need much longer to have some small talk. I often find that having an activity helps the conversation along or helps to avoid awkwardness, so we went to our hired room quite quickly.
There, I wondered if the woman at Sugar Kane wondered about our age difference, then realised she’s a part of this kinky world, so it probably didn’t seem weird to her. And we were only tying, after all. I don’t know why I worried about this anyway, really. Our room was downstairs, and I was surprised (although I shouldn’t have been, lol) to see these kinds of playrooms in real life.
The first thing I noticed were restraints against the wall, that could be attached so one would be forced to stand in some sort of cross position. I noticed the rail on the ceiling also (necessary for what we were going to do) and just generally, it definitely felt like being in a kinky playroom.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do once we got there and just moved my stuff out of the way. It still wasn’t awkward though. He seemed to know what he was doing and wanted to do with the rope and how it would work so I just kind of waited for him to be ready. He asked me if I first wanted to do some smaller rope things to build trust but I kind of didn’t care? Why not just do the thing we came here for, I’m sure it would be fine. And besides, rope first had to be tied. It’s not like I’d be lifted into the air immediately.
I took off my trousers, under which I was wearing leggings and he started by tying my left foot (he asked me which one I preferred). As he was tying he explained how it works with distributing the weight and why lifting someone up with that will not ruin circulation. I would explain it to you but I can’t remember well enough. It made sense though, lol.
The rope felt nice against my skin. It surprised me how comfortable it felt, while still giving me the rope feel. It also looked pretty because rope just is, I guess. Though he did mention that certain ties were and convenient and pretty. Once the one around the foot was done, the my left hand had to be attached to it, which reminded me of twister… haha. Because of awkward/flexible positions. It became a little more awkward when my other leg had to be tied when bending at a 90-degree angle. I couldn’t keep on sitting like that. He also did something with the other arm, and for each step did ask if I was okay with it, by the way.
Then before the lifting in the air bit, we both wanted a picture of it and used my hair to hide my face. I now realise that I kind of look like a dead body though, lol.
Was I ready for the suspension? he asked. As ready as I was ever going to be, I guess. I didn’t know what to expect. He hooked my leg up and as he started pulling at the rope, I was kind of dragged over the floor, which certainly gave me a feeling of powerlessness, but in a good way/ also surprised way. When I got lifted off the floor for just a little I wondered… mhm, this is interesting. What did you sign up for again?
It was striking to me how I was sort of going in circles because that’s what happens when you hang in the air I guess. It was amusing to me. I guess it would add to feeling powerless, in some way, which is probably why it was amusing to me. However, once I was up, my hand started slipping what felt like out of its bondage pretty quickly.
Simon said he’d been afraid of this. He’d never been able to try this fully (hence there was me) and now it turned out that the friction just wasn’t working. He took me down immediately and we weren’t able to take a picture or try this one out properly. He’ll have to go back to the ideas in his mind and think of a different solution I suppose. But hey, that’s probably part of the fun too!
He did have something else he wanted to try and I was more than excited to keep on going. The tie around my foot remained as the next idea was to lift me just by that leg, but the way my arms were bound changed. I know the tie, I’ve just forgotten its name. I’m sure he’ll remind me once he reads this. Again, before getting to the lifting into the air bit, he took a picture of me, now looking slightly less dead? ha.
I have no idea if I felt aroused during any of this. I think I was so focused on just having a good time, and seeing this as an experience, that I didn’t allow myself to feel it if it was there.
I knew what to expect now a little bit when being lifted. Again, I was dragged over the floor, which still felt strange. Perhaps I would have felt aroused there if I’d let it. Again, I started turning around without being able to do anything about it. Being lifted by that one foot doesn’t hurt as such, but it does feel straining, in some way. Though I don’t think it’s the bad kind, and more just like what’s a part of this thing. It didn’t feel bad, anyway.
Being lifted was excited and a little… not scary, but a little exhilarating I suppose? It’s certainly an experience! Of course, he asked me if it was feeling okay, and this time I didn’t need to be taken down. I liked how my arms were tied as well, it added to feeling restrained, which probably sounds weird as I obviously couldn’t really get myself out of this situation.
We wanted another picture.
It was quite sad that the ceiling is so low and quite lucky that I’m not that tall! It would have been nice to see my hair hang all the way down.
He wondered if I wanted to try one more thing after this, which would be this one with the legs spread. Of course! Plus, I was quite interested in the difference between being lifted with both legs as opposed to one. He took me down and held my head up with his hand to ensure I wouldn’t fall on my head/neck in case taking me down would go wrong and that was reassuring.
He undid the the rope around my right leg and re-tied the right foot in the same way he’d tie the left one. Afterwards, he lifted me by my left one first and then had to stand on a chair to be able to lift the right one as well. It felt interesting again, being lifted by the second one as it was another new experience. And there I was, hanging upside down once more, the weight spread amongst two legs this time.
I don’t know what else to say about it. It just felt interesting. It felt cool. It was pretty great. I like the feeling of being restrained and powerless like that, even without the arousal, haha. Again he asked me how it felt but I can’t remember my answer to be honest. He also asked if I could feel it in my head, hanging upside down like that, which I could feel, of course, but not yet in a bad way.
I stayed in this one the longest and he asked if we could try and spread the legs a little more, which I wanted to try! But then a point in my right ankle started to hurt a lot all of a sudden and unfortunately, that meant I had to be taken down instead.
Because we only had two hours, of which half an hour was reserved to like, calm down after and all of that, we didn’t have time to re-do it, but I suppose it didn’t matter. The things we’d already done were pretty good for a first time.
Afterwards, he said that usually, he’d hug the person he had tied now, but that it might be strange for me, so he wouldn’t unless I wanted to. I didn’t really care? I’m not really a hugging person and I feel indifferent about it, overall. I felt safe with him though, so I didn’t think it could hurt and so he hugged me for a while, which was nice.
He briefly sort of massaged something on my back? And I joked how I am always tense (which is not a joke because I am always tense, whether I’m alone in bed, in a warm bath or wherever. I can’t relax…) So then he massaged my back for a little longer, which was very nice, especially because his hands were so warm!
Afterwards, he started packing up and I put my trousers and shoes back on. We then walked to my bus stop together (and my lungs immediately played back up again lol) and then hugged goodbye.
I think I only started ‘coming down’ once I was on the bus and the airport, although it could have also come from my lung issue, which had been there all day apart from when we were tying. Maybe I just dissociated from it while we were tying? Maybe I should have mentioned it in that case, but it really didn’t cross my mind once it was gone. But on my way to the airport, I started feeling cold and more exhausted, which is what I tend to feel like after kinky sessions and such. It was okay though, it’s never that bad. I’m pretty good at coping with a lot of things.
Overall, it was a great experience and I hope we get to do this again sometime and I’m really happy that I was able to do this. Thank you, Simon, it was a pleasure!
Ps, the lung issue…
The pain in my chest and body (as the pain had kind of spread) stayed even when I got home. On the second night that I was home, I woke up in the middle of the night (around 12) and couldn’t breathe from the amount of pain I felt. It felt almost impossible to get to the car to go to the hospital with my dad.
After an overnight stay and many tests, it turned out that I have a pulmonary embolism on both sides. I’d been walking around with it for nine weeks. NHS didn’t care to try and diagnose me despite seeing the doctor about seven times and repeatedly getting the response that I was perfectly healthy and if I didn’t believe it I could keep have an x-ray to ease my mind. Spoiler alert, x-rays can’t see a pulmonary embolism. They only show if you’ve like broken your ribs or something, which I definitely hadn’t as I had not fallen or run into someone or something at all.
I now have the right pills to treat this and will have a check-up appointment. I can imagine that my dad might have a heart attack if he heard I was also tied up and lifted in the air on Wednesday, lol. But hey, at least everything turned out okay!