The first time Mistress used her Strap-on

On Sunday, I finally got to see Mistress again after a little over two weeks. We celebrated the holidays separately and by the time New Years came around she was unlucky enough to catch Covid again. As a result, we didn’t speak as much as we usually do either, so I was very excited to see her in person again.

On Saturday, she suggested 3pm for Sunday and said that she requested my blue lingerie set, high heels and my gimp hood. I asked if she wanted already wanted me to be wearing these upon her arrival, to which she said yes and added that I should wait on my knees facing the couch, wear my ankle and wrist cuffs and to have the blue dildo and wand ready. She would let herself in.

This instantly made me feel excited and a bit nervous at the same time. She’d never asked me to be ready for her like that before. My mind jumped to all the kinky stories I read as a teenager, the ones where the submissive is told to wear x and present herself like y, while waiting for the dominant to arrive. Spoiler alert, in most of these stories the dominant is purposefully late and so I 100% expected Mistress to be deliberately late. From the moment she set this task I could already picture myself nervously kneeling in my living room, wondering when she’d arrive and what she’d think of seeing me ready for her like that.

Therefore, I got up and gathered all the items she’d mentioned in the living room and cleaned my flat the day prior to Sunday (I usually only clean on the day). I was very excited and wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be in a rush, feel stressed or mess it up.

Sunday

On Sunday I had big plans to make a nice meal so I wouldn’t be hungry when Mistress would be over but I ended up wanting to do too many things, of which one, admittedly, was sleeping in for too long. I needed to go to the shop in order to make the meal and I was too hungry when I emerged from my slumber so made some simple toast instead. I thought I’d have time to make up for it later but instead wrote a blog post and suddenly it was 2 o’clock, just an hour until Mistress would be over.

I did make something with scrambled egg and rushed to put a braid in my hair when my dad called. In my imagination, I would have probably started kneeling at least 10 minutes before 3, just in case Mistress would be early. In reality, I was struggling to get my wrist cuffs on when it was about 2 to 10.

When I did get them on, I realised I hadn’t filled the kettle with water or boiled it. In my excitement to get everything right, I thought I’d put a cup out with a teabag and a spoon because Mistress always wants to have a cup of tea when she arrives. Now it seemed really silly to have them out when the kettle was empty. I thought of getting up and quickly filling it with water but I knew it was past 3; doing so would feel like cheating and I didn’t know when she would arrive. Plus, I would have to take my heels off as she told me she once ruined the kitchen floor by walking on it in heels when she still lived here, and if she were to suddenly arrive I wouldn’t be able to quickly put my heels back on (because that’s what happens when you’re stressed!)

So I kept kneeling in front of the couch and heard the door open downstairs followed by what I presumed to be her feet on the stairs. Just a moment later, the door to my flat unlocked.

I’m guessing it was only about two minutes past three when she came in. She was definitely not deliberately late and I have to say I very much appreciate that. (One of my pet peeves in those stories is that the dominants were always late!)

Mistress’ arrival

As I was facing the couch, I couldn’t really see into the hallway where Mistress arrived. I listened to her taking off her coat and then had no idea what she was doing. Usually it would take her mere seconds to move from the hall through to the room but this time she seemed to be taking her time. Unlike usual, neither of us called out to each other either. I was just waiting while kneeling on the floor as her Slave. And while I certainly let my eyes glance to my right a few times, ultimately I couldn’t decide on whether sideways glancing at her come in would make me less or more nervous, so I just looked ahead.

When she finally entered the living room, she came up to me from behind. I don’t really remember the moment that she walked in and more so recall the moment her hands touched my skin.

They were very cold but instead of jerking in response my body naturally stayed exactly where it was and I caught myself actively wanting to lean in. It doesn’t matter how cold your hands are; please warm them up on my body and touch whatever part you want. 

She moved the straps of my bra down my arms and touched my exposed breasts. Then, instead of taking my bra off she moved the straps back around my shoulders, while her hands explored the rest of my body.

My memory starts becoming a little hazy from this point. I must have given into the sensations and let myself submit without thought. I do remember her hand trailing over my hood, and being unable to watch her hands as they explored my body otherwise, because the hood doesn’t give me as much vision as you’d expect.

She took my bra off and cuffed my wrists cuffs together.

“Up,” she said.

It was the first word either of us had spoken.

I was a little slow to respond because my ankles had fallen asleep from the kneeling position and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand instantly. She lifted me up from behind and helped me onto the couch. Oh, that’s what she meant, I thought relieved. She just wanted me to lean against the back of the couch while sitting up on my legs.

Toys coming out of the bag

Every time Mistress stepped back from me I had no idea what she was doing. I thought I could kind of guess she might be putting on the strap-on harness or attaching the dildo to it but really, I didn’t know. I thought she may be undressing at one point and then suddenly I felt a hit on my back.

I did not expect that!

It didn’t really hurt and felt like the single tail; I generally think that one feels pleasant at the start. (It didn’t turn out to be the single tail btw. It was a softer whip, I saw afterwards). Upon realising that she might be hitting me for a while I felt myself relax into the couch. I suppose you can say this is like every masochists dream. I expected the hits to become more sore and I thought she tried to start hitting harder as time went on but I just enjoyed it and felt perfectly in control over my ability to stay still. (Maybe she wasn’t hitting me hard at all?)

Then again, my memory isn’t exactly clear. What followed was a further exploration of my body with her nails and teeth (I cannot tell you how much I love it when she starts biting me, even though it hurts so much!) Her fingers trailed down to my underwear and pulled it up, resembling a kinder version of a crotch rope while she bit me near my neck and I couldn’t help but cry out softly, while simultaneously thinking how she must be enjoying this, and so was I.

She took off my underwear and then lubed me up. She turned on the wand which she brought close to my clit. However, unlike usual she seemed to be placing it rather carefully. The goal didn’t seem to be getting me as sensitive as possible and maybe I was supposed to enjoy it? It certainly felt bearable and was giving me that nice sensation.

After this, the whip returned, followed by her nails and teeth once more and she kept switching between the three.

All the while, my mind did wonder when the strap-on was going to come out. I often forgot momentarily, taken by the current sensations but ultimately, the strap-on was at the forefront of my mind and I felt excited, most of all.

The Strap-on

Before I could feel the dildo touch my opening I knew it was finally coming. All my worries and anxieties swept through my mind in a flash and then it was okay. It’s fine, Mila, you know it no longer hurts. Just relax. I trust my Mistress. 

Sure enough, the dildo slipped in fairly painlessly. I just needed a few seconds to readjust to this feeling of fullness inside my vagina. Simultaneously, as she pushed the dildo inside I felt such a strong sense of submission and pride at the same time. Mistress was finally able to use a strap-on on me after months of vaginal training. And I have to say it certainly felt more powerful because I never imagined this was possible with my vaginismus.

Mistress turned the wand back on as she started moving the dildo with her body. If the movement hurt at all I certainly wasn’t aware because the wand provided suitable distraction.

Back when we first started about the idea of this, I told her I may need to be distracted and have a lot of foreplay and she was delivering on all of that.

I couldn’t help but make noises in response to the sensation the strap-on was giving me. It wasn’t painful but my brain couldn’t decide whether I liked it or not. Regardless, I knew I wanted her to continue and after a prolonged use of the wand, she turned it off and then I only felt the dildo. It still didn’t hurt, and instead left me rather frustrated because the dildo gives me some sort of stimulation but never enough to get close to the sensation of an orgasm (not that I had asked for permission for an orgasm).

The whip then hit my back again and my mind jumped between feeling the sensation of the whip and the dildo, unable to settle on just one. After a little while the wand returned instead of the whip, and later she held onto my body while continuing to thrust the dildo inside of me and biting me at the same time. My mind couldn’t keep track of it all and I started feeling very primal. While I can control the amount of noise I make or the way my body moves in daily life, that control had completely gone out the window. It added an extra layer of submission and I felt like all I could and wanted to do was submit to these sensations.

Aftercare

After Mistress took the dildo out, she directed me to kneel in front of her as she sat down on the couch.

“You will learn to enjoy this. And you’ll stop dreading having to do the training every day because you now know what it means and what it’s for.”

“Yes Mistress.”

She said some other things and I said “Yes Mistress” a few more times. Each time I did it felt right. Whereas at the start of our dynamic I might have said “Yes Mistress,” because I knew it was right, I really felt like I fully believed it too this time. While this task may have seem born out of a sadist and masochist’s desire, Mistress seems very set on giving me the gift of being able to enjoy this new sensation that I previously couldn’t. It was never about me being in pain at all. And it feels like we’re on this journey together.

While she was using the strap-on on me, I have to admit I was also fantasising about other settings in which she could do this with me. And I felt a real craving for her using it on me.

Due to the little contact we had over the last few weeks, I started feeling demotivated with the task and I told her a few days ago. While telling her helped me motivate myself a little, this scene and the words she spoke have motivated me much more; she clearly knew exactly what I needed.

After this exchange she was quick to take off my hood, allowing me to sit with her on the couch and taking off my restraints. From not talking to each other at all during the scene, she instantly slipped back into what we’re like normally and it was audible in her voice. Suddenly there was my Mistress and my friend again after long two weeks. You can imagine how happy I felt! And she brought macaroons as a treat.

Continuing training

I’m going to continue my training and work up to yet another slightly bigger dildo, as Mistress has a slightly bigger one that she would like to use on me in the future. I did my training this morning instead of putting it off like usual and waiting till just before bed. After she left at about 10pm yesterday, I felt like a joyful child that just wanted to jump around because I was so happy.

x

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