Part 2: Clit Gone Numb

Previous Post | Next Post

(Please keep in mind that this post was written a full year ago before the time of publishing.)

After getting off the train, home and upstairs, Lois asked me to turn on the webcam and to check what was in the room. I was visiting my dad so I didn’t have a lot of toys with me. In the meantime, she told me to clean the keys I’d taken out of my vagina with my mouth. The other key was still inserted, and so was the lip balm in my bum.

Searching the room, I opened all the drawers (empty), the cupboards (clothes) and two boxes with children’s toys (my old ones, coincidentally, lol). She asked me about a lamp behind me on the wall. A lamp? What can one do with a lamp? It was one of those that you can clamp to a table, but it had been screwed to the wall. She asked if I could get my tongue or upper lip in the clamp (I could take the keys out of my mouth now) but the position was too awkward and didn’t allow me to.

So the lamp was a no go and she told me to re-insert the keys I just cleaned in my vagina. Then she wanted me to turn my dad’s table on its side. On its side? Why would I…

Oh…

Oh.

 

With the table tilted on its side, I put one leg over the side of the tabletop so my vagina alone would rest on the surface.

“I want you to lift your feet off the floor.”

The weight on my vagina as soon as I lifted my feet was very painful to the point where it felt like I had immediately passed a stage of pain. It sent good shivers through me, some lightheadedness and it instantly made me feel a lot more submissive.

The webcam was placed out of reach and directed at the table while Lois and I continued to communicate through my phone. (We didn’t take any pictures of this predicament).

Apparently, on cam it was difficult to see whether I’d indeed lifted my feet off the floor, but I had. Cheating would have been the worst thing a slave can do? Also, what’s the point of dishonesty? This entire dynamic wouldn’t have ever worked then.

She told me to lift my feet all the way up, which made me think of how much easier this would have been if my ankles had been tied to my thighs or something.

Sitting on the edge of the table soon started to feel like a balancing act. The pain was quite alright, sort of, until the few moments in which I lost my balance. Having to readjust resulted in more weight pressing down on my vagina and bum.

She asked me if this was enough pain for now and I had no idea. How could I answer that question? It felt like this was definitely a point at which she’d know better. But of course, one side of me definitely wanted the pain to stop so she told me to close my eyes and see the real feeling walk towards me and the defensive one away. I had to embrace the pain. To feel it. Not push it away.

I did as she said, feeling more immersed in my imagination than when I had tried this on the train. I didn’t quite get it the first time but did after I had repeated it two, three, four times and then opened my eyes.

Opening my eyes was a mistake; it caused me to lose my balance. The semi-peacefulness of the pain I’d felt during my imagination abruptly disappeared. She could tell; asked me if it was getting worse and said that this was just the beginning.

The beginning… I thought… the beginning? How am I going to…

“Yes Mistress,” I said.

She asked me to rate the pain from 1-10, to which I said 8. Of course, all of a sudden, it seemed to increase to 9. I must have lost balance again, although I couldn’t comprehend how that could have such a big impact.

She repeated that I wasn’t to let my feet touch the floor or to push myself up with my hands. Then she asked me to tell her about my day.

I managed to tell her two sentences about my day before I lost it again. When it became harder to cope I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. It took quite a while sometimes, but the goal was always to get back to coping again…

She told me to focus. I told her another sentence about my day… then mentioned it might be 10 now. Or maybe it wasn’t? But I was losing my balance because I couldn’t cope anymore.

She told me that I would cope and that she didn’t care how I did it or in how much pain I was. I didn’t have a choice.

I managed to tell her six more sentences about my day and then she asked me if my day had been more fun than what we were doing right now… I mean, what a question! My day hadn’t been more fun, but it had certainly been easier. I don’t know why I added the latter part. I didn’t mean to say that this task was supposed to be easy, I just wanted to be smart and sarcastic… or something. I don’t really think about these sort of things when I say them. It just happens. I’m so used to it.

I had another moment of being unable to cope.

She told me to answer faster; said she didn’t care about my pain.

She asked me some other questions about my day.

I hit my limit and desperately reached for the side of the table, pushing myself up with my hands.

“Put your hands up”

“Put your hands up”

“Put your hands up!”

She repeated 3 times.

I finally managed… and answered one question – then couldn’t do it anymore again.

I put my feet down.

Lifting some of the weight off my vagina and bum sent a new type of pain through my vagina, and it was even worse letting the full weight sink back on the side of the table.

She told me to put my feet back up and to hold my tits.

I couldn’t do it…

I just couldn’t figure out how to do this. I wasn’t entirely aware of this, but a big part of my struggle came from being unable to balance properly with both my feet and hands up; I managed to earlier because it didn’t yet hurt as much.

What followed was a long period of suffering. Physically, and also a little mentally.

I switched between closing my eyes, holding my head up in the air, then crouching down closer to the table. I tried standing on my toes and lifting my feet but I didn’t know how to handle the pain.

Lois told me that she knew I could do better. She told me to push myself. I was only allowed to stop when I cried at least two tears. (At this point in our dynamic I hadn’t really cried yet in response to pain during a task or scene. In any setting, I only tend to cry when I’m breaking down emotionally. And even though I was in A LOT of pain right then, I felt no movement in the tear department of my body, and I doubted there would be any, no matter how painful this was going to get. It seemed more likely to me that I’d pass out before crying.)

She then said to count to three and take my hands and feet up for 10 seconds.

At first, I didn’t understand how this could make it easier but I tried to focus on what she’d said. 10 seconds… surely 10 seconds would be possible. I had to do this. I had to do this. There had to be a way…

(Side note… a lot of people seem to think that having online scenes is less real or intense than in real life, and in some aspect, this must be true, but can you imagine how much easier this task would have been if I was literally forced to sit on the edge of the table? Like how I said earlier, if my legs had been tied so they couldn’t touch the floor, and if my arms were bound above my head. But in this case, it was up to me to make sure I was suffering. I had to fight my own body – its natural response to stop the pain to ensure I was suffering. I had to beat the fear of my mind.)

“Stop thinking,” Lois said.

Finally, I grabbed hold of the table and lifted my feet off the floor while still leaning on my wrists. Even while still holding onto the table, the weight was heavy on my vagina and bottom. It took me 10 to 20 seconds to compose myself enough to take another breath. Somehow, finally, I managed to lift my arms off the table.

I held onto my breasts, which made it easier somehow because I had something to hold on to.

I didn’t count seconds. I gave in before I must have reached those 10.

I felt a mixture of relief and joy for managing and a little out of my mind because I was in so much pain. Meanwhile, my laptop with the webcam had gone down to 8% battery. Actually, part of the reason why I had managed to do it was because I’d seen the battery running out, thinking I had to do it before that happened. It had also felt like I only needed to do it that one time… Just do it and it’s over, I thought.

Lois told me to do it again, “quickly before the battery runs out”.

I reset my thoughts, made my mind go blank. I had to… closed my eyes, lifted my feet and shook heavily as I held onto / squeezed my breasts for 10 seconds.

She asked me if this time had been better, which strangely it was, a little bit at least. It had been more painful but it felt a little better because I was starting to believe in myself; I felt like I was capable of more than I’d thought.

She ordered me to do it one more time but for 15 seconds.

I was honestly a mess and the only thing I could do was the task at hand, not ensuring I still looked fairly decent (if that’s at all possible during a scene anyway). I counted the seconds in my head but still felt conscious about moving my mouth and visibly counting. Somehow my mind was still in control of ensuring I didn’t do that. At the same time, I wasn’t sure how fast I was counting and so I counted to 20 before I gave in and hoped I hit the right mark.

Okay, okay… it’s done now… right? I can… go and lie down somewhere or something, right?

“One more time, 20 seconds.”

I barely felt the implications of what she’d said. I just followed her order without thinking. The initial pain of lifting both my arms and legs is horrible and in order to do it, I really had to brace myself. I would tell myself to freeze and stop thinking so as to keep my body from objecting and putting my feet back down. The first seconds after lifting my legs are just as bad but in a different way. It’s like the initial shock is gone, but the pain immediately intensifies because… well, I don’t know why? Because I just get heavier or something? But at around 16 seconds I thought I could do this for longer than 20 seconds. Maybe. I counted until 25 to make sure I had hit 20 and then allowed myself to come down.

This was truly the last time… right?

She asked me if I wanted to try it again.

Did I? I mean… no? but yes? She asked me… I wanted to make her happy. And also, I could do it. I’d done it several times before now… what was one more time?

I did it without thinking again and probably gave in at around 16 seconds. I only then saw that she’d asked me how long I’d do it for…

I apologised for having missed her question and braced myself for one last time. 30 seconds, I said.

This time I honestly couldn’t trick my mind. It felt like I was doing it on pure willpower. I don’t know how to describe the pain. It burns. It cuts. It’s unreal? After the 3(7) seconds I counted in my head, she allowed me to get off (so I could also plug in the laptop). She told me to take off my thighs and to show her a picture of my pussy. It was… a little… red.

She asked me a few more things but I was still struggling with the pain. The keys were hurting a lot inside. It even hurt if I didn’t move at all. When I moved, I felt like I wanted to crouch over from the pain. I tried to sit in different positions but it didn’t really matter. I felt like I had maybe hit my limit.

The lip balm fell out, and Lois told me to get my inflatable butt plug. I was very unsure about whether I could get it in. The lip balm alone had intensified the pain of the keys, but I said I’d at least try.

I couldn’t do it. It felt like the keys were cutting the inner walls? of my vagina? So she told me to get out the keys and insert the vibrator (plus the butt plug, of course). I immediately worried about whether I would be able to insert a vibrator while everything already hurt so much but let that thought go when I had to start getting the keys out.

I asked Lois if I could go to the toilet to do it (I thought if I pretended I had to pee it might be easier) but I wasn’t allowed. So I squatted in front of the webcam and tried my hardest to push them out, pretending I had to pee without having a toilet, lol.

Just the pushing alone felt like I was ripping my vagina apart. It wasn’t as easy as it had been just after I’d gotten off the train. At the same time, it’s not like I could leave them in so I kept on pushing, and pushing, giving myself small breaks in between until finally one part of the key came out and I could start pulling… Pulling, however, wasn’t any better. For one it was very slippery (so I grabbed a sock to help me out). But more so, I feared the pain of pulling them out. How the fuck was I going to do this?

But I had to… so first came the black bit, then the pink… then the key and then it was out. It felt like an initial shock of pain, every time one part slipped through the opening, which was then followed by the after pain of? well. Idk?

That still meant there was one key left. As I started to push I could feel that it was much deeper inside. I worried that it might be stuck or too far in to come out again (I’m sure you’re all feeling that same fear as you’re reading this lol), so I pushed extra hard and ignored the pain as much as I could. Then eventually, it came out easier compared to the other because it was only one key and a yellow tag.

I sent Lois a picture of the keys and added… out of surprise rather than anything else that one key had blood on it.

She then said that she wanted me to orgasm and that it didn’t matter how I did it, but that I was going to. Contrary to her earlier command this meant I didn’t have to insert anything, thank god. Although orgasming? Would that hurt now?

I moved a lamp to ensure there was enough light for her to see me on the webcam and lied down on the floor against a massive teddy bear, (which just very conveniently happened to be there. When I say massive I mean nearly human size.)

I started touching myself but I wasn’t wet at all. It felt like my clit and pussy had fallen asleep… like when a leg has fallen asleep except touching and moving it didn’t wake it up. It just felt entirely numb… All I felt was some burning feeling which came from around the lips, not even the clit.

She told me to try and stimulate my clit anyway and to simply keep on going.

Naturally, I complied.

After maybe 10 minutes? or maybe a bit less, I mentioned that my vagina was starting to tighten up a little bit like you know when you get closer to orgasm? It felt like it was tightening around my finger but I didn’t feel any building or any orgasm.

I went on for maybe 6 more minutes after which she asked if I wanted to continue or not.

I said that I could go on, but wasn’t sure if it would make a difference or not. I couldn’t feel anything. Everything was still numb.

She said that she loved that I couldn’t come… and that made me feel strangely happy. Very happy, actually.

I asked if this meant it wasn’t bad that I couldn’t come to confirm… and she said that it was quite the contrary.

It felt like she was impressed by what had happened and the amount of pain I must have been in, which made me feel proud. She added that she had enjoyed it very much, which is also the best compliment I can get. 

Everything felt so good that day. From the start of our conversation, I felt like I could just be and didn’t need to worry or think about life. She gave me the best gift, making me feel so grateful for the opportunity to serve her. And I had really been pushed beyond my limit once more. I don’t think I had been in that much physical pain before.

We said good night and I went to pee before going to bed. Blood came out and I decided to wet a towel to soothe my vagina.

It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep and I slept better than I had in several days and possibly weeks.

My peaceful and content feeling lasted for a few days… and so did the numbness of my vagina. For the first two days, it hurt to simply take off my thong when I wanted to pee. Peeing also hurt a little. And touching my vagina still felt like touching a sleeping leg, except touching or moving it didn’t make the feeling stop.

I wanted to orgasm two days after but I couldn’t. No chastity device needed to stop orgasms from happening I guess, ha. It ended up taking 2 weeks and 5 days before I managed to squirt and another day before I managed to orgasm again finally with a lot of effort.

What we did here is certainly a ‘don’t try this at home’ kind of thing.

Xx ML

Previous Post | Next Post