When Lois told me to get two new toys (an inflatable butt plug and a remote control vibrator) I was equally excited and a little scared. I was impatient over the delivery time, excited when they arrived and when Lois came online and asked me if I was indeed excitement, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Instead, I was afraid of it not working out. By that I meant that I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to insert the vibrator into my vagina.
“When I tell you to insert the vibrator, what will you do?”
“Insert it I guess, Mistress.”
“So nothing to worry about, is there?”
Well… erm… yes, still loads to worry about! She asked me how the toys worked, which I guess is like every inflatable butt plug and remote control vibrator, but it was quite new to me. She wanted to know if I could detach the pump from the inflatable plug, which you can.
“Isn’t that exciting?
It could also work in your pussy or mouth potentially.”
I don’t know. Is that exciting? I felt like submissive me was saying yes, but ‘normal’ me felt a bit apprehensive about it. She said that if it were inflated up my bum and I were told to go out while leaving the pump at home, there’d be no way for me to remove it. Now that thought was and is indeed arousing.
She told me to show her the plug so I pumped it up on video, and then she wanted me to do that again, on video, but with the plug in my mouth.
I asked her if she wanted me to take my clothes off while doing that. I suppose that was my active submission? lol. Seemed like she hadn’t thought about it, but liked the idea- except she wanted me to wear my nightgown and over the knee heels on.
I sent her the video and her first comment was: “That surely isn’t as much as you can pump it up in your mouth is it?”
Erm… No, I guess it wasn’t but it felt like I’d start choking instead of being to keep it in at a certain point. I wasn’t very used to having something in my mouth. So she said to do it again and to keep going, noting that she was looking forward to seeing me struggle, which instantly aroused me. It’s funny because despite thinking it’s unpleasant a comment like that makes me want to make myself struggle.
She asked me how wet I was, of course. The answer was soaking, ha. So then she wanted me to put the plug in my pussy instead… insertion… I was very scared of insertion. Yet, it was quite easy to follow this order.
It wasn’t much of a problem getting it in, seeing as it’s very small and I was really wet. Still, it hurt a little. I think anything that gets inserted into my vagina hurts. But if it’s not too big and stays still it’s ok once it’s inside.
My face on the video, when I’m pumping it up, is very tense and still. It felt very painful and I felt full, I think. It did get better with the passing of time. At first, I felt unable to cope but after a little bit, I could deal with it- though I had to stay still and pretend that it wasn’t there.
What followed was that she wanted me to walk up and down my room three times on video. The heels of the boots are really high. I don’t feel like I can walk in them. I can, but not to a point where I feel confident doing so. Though she said I walked well on them now. Maybe it’s just my own insecurity, who knows.
While I had thought it would hurt me a lot more when walking, the plug didn’t bother me all that much when walking. It did when I sat back down.
We continued to talk for another hour and switched to cam instead. She told me to deflate the plug and take it out and to replace it with the vibrator.
Frankly, I was terrified. In previous days, I had only slightly pushed it against my opening. It had definitely felt way too big for me. But when Lois told me to do it I had to so I could, though it was so painful. It’s like a deep cut, not just a paper cut like feeling. And at the same time, I feel like it pushes my head over like I’m tumbling to the floor because I can’t cope with the sensation. What follows is a very clear pulsating. But when it was in, it was in and I was really happy that I’d been able to do it. I hadn’t failed her!
Later that day when I went to the toilet for the first time since the plug had come out it felt like my vagina and the stream were on fire. Later that went away. And afterwards, I did feel very excited to be able to use the new toys.
Xx Marie Louise