Last Saturday, Miss Roxy set me the task to wear my butt plug for an hour. I had gone to another play event though and wasn’t home until late where I fell asleep within an hour and so didn’t fulfil the task. I wasn’t entirely sure if I should still do it regardless but now, quite late, I thought I should.
Wearing a butt plug is strange. I can feel my own arousal when inserting it, then while it’s inserted it’s uncomfortable but not super uncomfortable. It is present, though and every time I notice its presence and think about it I can feel that I’m aroused again. It makes me feel like my body is betraying me; how can I like something that’s uncomfortable?!
I realise it has been a long while since I’ve worn a butt plug just for the sake of wearing it. The last time I clearly recall wearing this one was for a punishment when I had to wear it all day over two years ago. The feelings I described above are similar to what I felt then. The question ‘how can I like something that’s uncomfortable’ represents the internal conflict that many submissives might have. It’s a fun conflict, which often increases my arousal and yet, this conflict seemed to have evaporated over the past few months. Now, something rather simple and previously perceived by me as possibly too boring has regenerated this wonderful feeling.
I remember the first time that I tried anal. The blinds of my childhood bedroom were closed and someone I spoke to on the internet suggested I try inserting my finger in my butt. She told me to sit down on my hand and let the finger slide inside. I remember gasping; it was such a strange sensation. I felt a little full and could feel my hole close around my finger. I wriggled to see how the sensation would change and couldn’t decide whether I liked this feeling.
When Lois started training me I had been clear about my dislike for vaginal insertion. Much to her surprise, I didn’t appear to have a problem with anal. Then as a joke, when we did body writing she told me to draw an arrow from my front pointing to my butt with the caption ‘use back entrance’. If my body wasn’t available for vaginal insertion then it only made sense that my butt would be available for anal insertion.
Currently, I still can’t decide whether I like the sensation of having something inserted up my butt. Since I got an inflatable butt plug, I’ve been able to explore the sensation much more and when I blow it up far I truly struggle to deal with the feeling; It hurts but as a masochist, I’m into that. The sensations become even more interesting when a vibrator is also inserted vaginally. Once, Lois made me stand facing the wall with the butt plug and vibrator inserted for 30 minutes and every minute, I had to pump the butt plug by one. Granted, I could not keep standing properly.
Interestingly, I appear to struggle more with the sensation of the combination of double insertion than stapling myself. I believe I have mentioned that my digestive system doesn’t work that well. This has resulted in conducting several self-administered enemas and the first two times, I could not hold it in longer than a few minutes. Having that water inside me felt like the absolute worst, possibly as bad as having hot sauce on my clit. I couldn’t comprehend how anyone could hold it in longer than 5 minutes while I know enemas can be used for kink play for a lot longer. In fact, PainSlutLois filled herself with 2 litres once and kept it in for several hours with a lockable butt plug while wearing a tens unit and that idea blows my mind.
I wonder if it’s perhaps because of my digestive system that anal sensations, especially in combination with vaginal, are so intense for me. A little while ago, I thought it might be fun to lock myself to the curtain railing with my timed lock while wearing a vibrator, a very inflated butt plug and a tens unit. I haven’t done this as I don’t own a tens unit (and they’re a bit expensive) but maybe when I do and feel rather masochistic I will try it out one day.
For now, this task of wearing my butt plug for an hour has reconnected me to when I only just started out on my submissive journey. I have to say that I enjoyed the task. I like that the butt plug was so present but didn’t prohibit me from doing other productive things and because the plug was so present it would continuously send me back to my feeling of arousal which made me push my legs closer together. And while I certainly tried to be productive, I was also a little distracted.
As proof, she asked for a picture of the butt plug and the timer. I’m not entirely sure if that means a picture with the timer and the butt plug inserted in one but this is kind of difficult when my phone is the timer and my camera. Luckily, I also have an actual camera.
I thought I should make it two hours instead of one considering I was supposed to do this on Saturday. I did some small other tasks she set me, which I tweeted evidence of at the time, which you might have seen.
Xx Marie Louise