Task: Epilator for pussy

Miss Lois once asked me to sketch her a scenario / write her a story about a girl that wanted to be a slave and was starting her training. (I mean, this was obviously about me even though I started writing it as if it was about a random person, after which I was specifically told that this was about me.) Continue Reading →

Going bra-less

Back when I was 18, I met Lisa, a Mistress, on Collarspace. (I address her as Lisa, as I never called her Miss while we were talking.) She was very interested in exploring my mind and loved that I was so inexperienced in every way and embarrassed and shy about my kinky feelings. It made it very easy to activate my submissive side, I guess. Continue Reading →

Pausing slave training

I was very insecure and hated myself a lot, as I still do when I start having a depressive breakdown. I asked her: “Do you ever just wish that you would’ve met someone that’s a true slave but without all this extra baggage?” Continue Reading →

Penetrating the Mind

During my training there’d sometimes be periods where I didn’t need to be punished at all and then suddenly there’d be a streak of instances where I didn’t obey (although it was often a mistake, rather than that I didn’t obey on purpose). Continue Reading →

Learning how to pose / Creating a Fetlife profile

Every time I took a picture for Miss Lois, she said that she wanted me to smile, since I never did. Rather, I looked either uncomfortable, angry or sad… or something, lol. Which is kind of a picture ruiner when the rest looks pretty good… or so I was told. Continue Reading →

Pee in a bowl and then a spider appeared!

She tried to force it out of me by saying how I was a slave and that slaves do as they are told. Usually when she starts demanding it immediately I am more likely to do it sooner. Yet… this didn’t seem to work now. Then I saw a spider. A FUCKING SPIDER! In the corner of my room. It wasn’t a small one. I interrupted my task. I was… well… Continue Reading →

Task: Tiger balm on the clit

Miss Lois often surprised me with the ideas she came up with, or the tools she managed to find when I wasn’t at my home where I have my toys. It wasn’t any different when she asked me if my mum had any tiger balm at home. In my memory, tiger balm had always been something for muscle pain. I had no idea why she wanted me to get that… Continue Reading →

Wearing the Heels OR Stones in my Shoes

You will wear the heels all day and go outside in them while meeting a friend. For every day that you don’t, you will wear the stones in your shoes and this will continue for as long as it takes until you wear the heels for the day. Continue Reading →

Getting used to addressing her as Miss

I never liked the idea of addressing a Mistress by any sort of title. It was one of the things I actively rejected. When I was 14-16, I used to read a lot of erotic stories on the internet and I disliked how in all of them, the submissives had to use titles to address their Dommes / as well as the names the submissives were given (like slut and such). Continue Reading →

First time posing and naked pictures

I can still remember the first time Miss Lois asked me to pose for her on a picture, which was also the same time that I sent her my first naked pictures. I was quite reluctant about this, or conflicted rather. It’s not that I didn’t want to but I had always been told that I should never send or post any naked pictures of myself. I mean… Continue Reading →

Punishment: Wearing a butt plug all day

Some people wear butt plugs all the time, every day as a subtle reminder. But for me, as everything seemed to do at the start of my training (lol), the idea of wearing one all day was slightly frightening. Continue Reading →

Rules in Miss Lois and my dynamic

Remember that people looking at me, or giving me compliments for the outfit I’m wearing is incredibly positive and makes Miss Lois extremely happy, even if I experience the compliment as negative. (At first I experienced the attention as negative, but later on it became nice and a compliment.) Continue Reading →

Task: Wearing heels at the airport

The evening before my departure, Miss Lois came up with a new task: That to show that I was going to develop even more as a slave once I arrived in this new place, I was to wear a pair of heels from the moment I got off the plane until I’d leave the airport. Continue Reading →

Nipple torture…

Then to my surprise, (again! I just didn’t know what to expect?) she told me to get a clothes hanger (one for hanging up skirts, the ones that have 2 clips attached) and attach those to both my nipples. Continue Reading →

Pantiless to the zoo

Similar to my dread of heels, I dreaded the day when Miss Lois was going to tell me to go without panties. I don’t know why but it actively scared me so. That day I had planned to go to the zoo with my mum. (We had won cheap tickets or something, and were curious about what the zoo was like 10 years after we’d last been. Spoiler alert: it was terrible. The enclosures were way too small for all the animals and most of them were walking around in circles and were clearly not okay. (Am never going to a zoo again.)) Continue Reading →

The 4 aspects of being a slave

So one day she told me to get a piece of paper and divide it in 4 blocks. One for obedience, pain, humiliation and classiness. She then told me to rate them from 1 to 4, one being the most important aspect of being a slave. Continue Reading →

Learning to associate heels with arousal

I never particularly fancied heels. I’m not sure if that’s because I saw them as this evil noise making tool which would make people aware of me being there or because they are, or can be kind of uncomfortable to walk in. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that I didn’t really care about heels. They were simply a type of shoe which could be nice to wear for some occasions. Continue Reading →

Punishment for breaking the ‘only allowed to edge’ rule

I broke a rule I’d been given three times… and so my punishment came in threefold and… I certainly never broke the rule again after Continue Reading →

Learning how to walk in heels

As part of my slave training, I had to learn how to walk in heels with which I struggled SO much. I was afraid of wearing heels because it would draw attention and I liked being invisible Continue Reading →

Task: Wax your Bikini Area

Miss Lois had a new task in mind but she was a little reluctant. She didn’t want me to have to spend money on tasks. So she suggested the following: if I didn’t want to do the task because of the money I wouldn’t have to. But if I didn’t want to do it for any other reason, I would have to do the task like any other. I said I thought that was fair. I had no idea what kind of task she had in mind. Then she said… Continue Reading →

Wearing a Thong and Skirts for the First Time

Previous Post | Next Post The first task Miss Lois ever gave me was to wear a thong for the first time. When I started talking to Miss Lois several months prior, we didn’t really dive into anything. I was a bit suspicious because I struggle to trust people online because of things that have happened in the past. We’d exchanged messages every now and then, with sometimes breaks of weeks in between until it slowly started to become more Continue Reading →

The Deconstruction of Elegance

A lot of people ask me how these 4 pictures came about, and to be honest, I struggle to remember exactly. I was being trained by the online Mistress (Miss Lois) at the time and this was one of her (good) ideas. I don’t know if this is true, but it always felt like she started with having maybe one idea in mind, and then as we went along, new ideas just kept popping up in her mind. But who knows, maybe she planned it all out.
Continue Reading →

Documenting my journey of becoming a slave

I’ve known that I identify as a submissive for as long as I can remember (discounting the early years of childhood as I can’t remember them). I had a boyfriend when I was 10/11, and I suggested we tie each other up to tickle one another – and we used a tea towel as a blindfold. Once we broke up, I’d sit in my room sometimes, untie the shoelaces from my shoes and use them to tie my hands together. Continue Reading →