This idea wasn’t entirely fabricated by my mind alone. I mean, of course, it wasn’t. But it’s also not like I, myself, personally stumbled upon this idea or saw a porn video. I had no idea people did this. When I found out, I thought it was mad. This isn’t something I ever thought I’d do but here we are. I tried it out.
Without saying a word
One day, a long while ago, Miss Lois sent me this link to a video of a woman stapling her own vagina. She sent it to me just after I’d woken up and I looked at it with my eyes wide open, feeling slightly in shock. P-people did t-this?! And… why was she sending me this? Did this mean…
I watched the video from beginning to end, unable to click it away. It looked so painful, which was probably partly due to her loud cries, hesitation and the later appearing blood. How the hell was she able to do this to herself?! And again, why was she sending me this?!
I messaged her a million thoughts, hoping that she’d come back to talk to me about it but she’d disappeared. Then when she appeared again, a day or so later, the topic wasn’t mentioned at all. In fact, the topic wasn’t mentioned at all for the next few weeks until she, very randomly, sent me an Amazon link, saying ‘buy this,’ a medical stapler. Again, the topic wasn’t raised beyond that. Nerves and anticipation truly started creeping up on me now.
When it arrived
The stapler arrived when I wasn’t home. I’d asked my flatmate to open my packages because I knew I’d have to send one back and wouldn’t be back in time to do it myself, but I didn’t anticipate that the stapler would arrive this early. Amazon had said it could take up to thirty days until delivery and when it says that, it often means it won’t arrive within the first five days. She sent me a picture, saying, “did you buy a medical stapler??”
I thought it was best not to respond so a day later, I brought up a completely different topic. Then when I got home she came into my room. “Why did you buy a medical stapler?” to which I started smiling, though I tried to hide it, and said, “you know for when, erm…” I started laughing. I didn’t have an excuse and I couldn’t stop thinking about how funny this was. It didn’t kill her curiosity but she also seemed to understand that she wouldn’t find out and perhaps didn’t want to find out.
The stapler and the staple remover were smaller and lighter than I’d expected them to be, which made them a lot less intimidating. Still, I couldn’t get the video out of my mind. Quite frankly, I didn’t know how I’d have the self-discipline to do this to myself.
Skipping forward to now
Our dynamic ended so we never actually used the stapler and I have to say, it didn’t exactly cross my mind to use it on my own accord. In fact, I probably felt a little bit of relief; at least I didn’t have to be that woman in the video. But you know, since I owned the stapler I kept on seeing it. I have one box for my toys and I put the ones I rarely or never use at the bottom but there’s always a time when you have to get it all out because you can’t find that one thing. So while it was on the bottom, it kept on coming out and eventually, I got curious again.
I say eventually because I definitely mean eventually. Quite a lot of months have passed but I have been steering more towards masochistic tendencies lately so of course… this was bound to happen. Plus, when I read the Medical Staples post by Deviant Succubus and also after talking about it with Laura, it really became something I grew more and more curious about.
So… erm. I’m not sure how this thought got into my head, it might have appeared after I pierced my nipples. I kind of expected it to hurt as much or perhaps more than stapling my labia and that’s what attracted me to trying my nipples first, I think.
Well, I was right. Stapling my first nipple was excruciatingly painful. When I’m hesitant about something I tend to like look up and stare into nothing, probably while frowning, or something. So I did that, looked back at my nipple, looked around again and so on for a few minutes till I managed to encourage myself to do it. I didn’t manage to do it in one quick go. Instead, I just pushed the stapler together very, very slowly until it started biting into my nipples and I immediately stopped because of the pain! I breathed in and out, recollected myself, thinking there’d be no way I’d be able to do this, and brought the stapler back onto my nipple, my arm shaking slightly this time. Still, I wasn’t brave enough to just do it in one go and so I started pushing it in very slowly again until it hit that point and I squeezed it shut. I didn’t actually make a sound but I was screaming internally. Fuck.
Deep breath in and out and a curious glance down. That looked kind of… interesting? Pretty? Strange? Cool? It didn’t hurt anymore. It was simply there.
Getting the first one in didn’t make the second one easier. In fact, it was more difficult because I knew what it felt like now. At the same time, I also knew how to do it this time. All I had to do was bite through the pain. It would only be one quick moment. One quick moment of feeling like my nipple was being slid through, which at first brought this terrifying image to mind that I might break it. I don’t know how you could break a nipple with such a tiny bendable thing as a staple but yknow.
Of course, I managed to get it in. Though that sentence sounds way more composed than what I felt like. I felt like I couldn’t quite keep holding onto the stapler but somehow I did. Guess that’s my own puppet master holding onto my arm for me. (Did I describe dissociation as being my own puppet master of myself on this blog? If I didn’t I guess that sentence just now makes no sense whatsoever, lol).
Another deep breath in and out and a curious glance down. It looked shiny and so small. How could this small little thing cause pain? I mean, it didn’t really once it was in. It was just there and so that made me want to try something more…
Stapling my labia shut
I was sitting at my desk when I stapled my nipples, but I moved to the floor for the next bit. How difficult can this be? I thought. Like before, all I had to do was just staple it in at once. Rather than following the example of the woman from the video, I wanted to close off my access to my clit so I pulled my labia together and then held onto it with two fingers. I was struggling to position the stapler as my arm was in the way, so I turned the stapler around several times. Then when I finally thought, fuck it, I’m just going to do it and snapped the stapler shut, it barely hurt because the staple didn’t go in and fell on the floor instead. Grr. My labia was too slippery… I mean, of course it was. The second one didn’t go in either. Third time is the charm though, right?
It’s certainly the charm if you consider that pain to be one. At the very least it didn’t feel like it’d rip my labia apart like with the nipples. Suppose that’s the advantage of a bigger surface area. By this point, I’m also sure I was high on adrenaline and I’d floated away a little. I was more focused, more able to just do this while ignoring the effect of the staple. So rather than lingering on this first one, I jammed the next area of my labia together and while my hand was shaking, I just did the 3, 2, 1, go thing. Self-control? I don’t know. I guess.
I was fascinated by how just two staples managed to shut off access to my clit. Maybe it’s not masochism that drove me to do this. Maybe it was pure curiosity, lol. Or maybe it was both. Probably.
Strangely enough, I didn’t feel like that’d been enough yet. It had felt a little too easy. Two more then, I thought. Why the hell not. That would lock my clit away, surely! But then as soon as I decided this I felt like, shit, what did I get myself into now? I suppose this would be the point where most people would quit but I like to finish the things I start (unless they’re movies or series or books…) One of the bosses I’ve had did always praise me for being so determined.
The third one was so much easier to get in because the other two were holding my labia together very well, which meant it could no longer slip away and escape. Stapling it felt like hearing the sound of a gunshot. It’s like feeling the shock and then realising that you’re actually fine. This one didn’t even hurt that much. Apparently I’d simply grown scared of the act of doing it, which was clearly visible in my very much shaky hand now. It made me doubt if I’d be able to get the fourth one in, to be honest.
The fourth one reminded me why I was feeling so reluctant, as this one definitely did hurt. Fuck me. Some sound actually nearly escaped my lips, but my flatmate was home so that wasn’t an option!
Side note, this was the kind of ‘I’m just doing this for me moment’ so I didn’t really think about taking pictures, hence I hadn’t thought of shaving myself and didn’t actually check if they were sharp. To be fair, I was probably too focused on coping with what I was doing. And once these four were in, I didn’t want to move.
Okay, six staples, now what?
Contrary to the staples in my nipples, the ones in my labia did hurt once they were in. It was a very faint sort of burning, far easier to cope with than when I wear clamps down there but still. Once I’m in pain I tend to feel like the answer is staying still, so instead of sitting down, I stayed in my half squatted position, which, god knows why I was half squatting to begin with.
I let them in for about half an hour, careful not to move too much and sort of waited for what would happen. The burning increased but I was mostly just scared of it. I don’t think the pain was actually that bad.
So then… haha. ha. Well. I got curious about whether I would be able to make myself cum. I didn’t think I would, considering my clit was essentially locked away, but I wanted to find out regardless. So I got my mini vibrator and started pushing it against the sides, careful to avoid touching the staples. From experience with clamps, I know that it’s never a good idea to have stimulation on the tools that you’re hurting yourself with. The vibration didn’t make me feel anything though, no matter which side, top or bottom I tried it on so I got my big wand. I guess I wanted to know if the vibrations of a more powerful one would be able to reach my clit. Well, they didn’t.
I broke my own rule of not touching the staples with my vibrator and pushed the wand down on top of them in an attempt to get closer to the clit. It felt very strange on the inside, as in, the part of my body that was locked away. I could feel I was incredibly aroused and wet, but I also couldn’t really feel it. Though with the vibrator on top, I felt something. There was a small amount of build up, but it would never get me to an orgasm.
I decided to take two of the staples out to try and uncover my clit, which partially worked. I had a specific tool to remove the staples, though I wasn’t sure how it worked so I was quite afraid of hurting myself by doing so. After all, it hurts a lot to remove nipple clamps! This tool made removing them barely painful though. I was happily surprised.
Now that I had a little bit of access to my clit, I started trying again. There certainly was more build up this time. I tried getting to orgasm for about ten minutes but every time I got closer, it felt like the remaining staples were piercing my skin and would break or end up flying through the room so, in the end, I stopped. I did squirt though… I kind of ruined a big area of my floor… oops. I cleaned it, of course.
Removing the staples
While the first two staples came out really easily, and while the third one did too, the fourth one certainly did not. This was the one I’d put in last and which had hurt the most so I guess it made sense that this one wouldn’t come out. Getting it out hurt a lot. The only reason why I got it out was because it obviously couldn’t stay in. There was no bleeding though. None at all. And the remaining staples in my nipples came out very easily.
There wasn’t much after pain. I could only feel it in my labia for maybe an hour or two, but it was far less bad compared to when I use clamps. Stapling feels very different to clamps though and I’m afraid of both of them. But hey, fear doesn’t appear to stop me.
I was exhausted as it was close to midnight now if it wasn’t closer to one already. I cleaned up a little but decided to leave most for the morning as my body needed some aftercare first. Aka. the warmth of my bed.