About a year ago now, two of my Dutch friends were visiting me in Scotland. We’d done some sightseeing the days before but were just chilling in the living room today. They were looking into booking a trip to the highlands but I wasn’t going because I didn’t have the money. So as they were using my laptop I was on my phone and then Lois messaged me. We said our usual hi’s, told her my friends were over etc. and then she asked me if I followed some sort of inner compass (the same question she’d asked a few weeks ago.) I still wasn’t sure if I did so I just said “maybe.”
She asked me if I said maybe because I thought that what she said would often overrule the truth of my inner compass, or that under certain circumstances she had become my inner truth. This is what brings us to the start of my adapting desires, which I wrote about here. I wasn’t aware of it then but looking back, I had started to adjust a lot and my desires were already very much shaping around her desires.
Lois wanted to try an experiment in which I didn’t have to actively do anything. She just wanted my body to obey my inner truth. She wanted me to get wet in 10 minutes without that I did anything apart from going to the toilet in 10 minutes to check.
Well, 10 minutes later I was wet, of course. It didn’t really surprise me because, as I explained to her, it just sort of happens. She told me to get wet within 10 minutes so of course, I would get wet within 10 minutes. She pointed out that we were talking about my body though and not my mind, but I thought that my body responds to my mind. After all, if I feel anxious my body starts sweating and shaking and I feel cold.
She wondered if I liked that she had that control over me. Wasn’t it worrying? She asked me these very same questions often, later on, all the way up until she told me to get labia piercings. Every time she asked me my answer remained the same; no, it didn’t worry me. Instead, it felt good. I wanted her to have this control. It’s kind of my desire for someone to have that amount of control over me, like a dream come true.
Lois decided that she wanted me to need the toilet in 10 minutes but I already needed the toilet so that didn’t really work out. Back then I needed to go to the toilet often. Specifically, in that moment I pretty much had to go continuously and I honestly couldn’t tell you why. For years I was really anxious about having to pee too often so as a result, I had to pee all the time.
I know why I was so anxious about it because when I studied in Wales it would take us 3.5 hours to get to our football matches and sometimes the driver wouldn’t stop for a pee break. Once, I had to go to the toilet when we left and at the 3-hour mark I really couldn’t hold it anymore. The bus driver only spoke Italian and he didn’t want to stop because then he’d lose the bus in front of us and he didn’t know where we were going. So my football team was like “here’s a plastic bag!” and I was so desperate that I… used it…
I didn’t get any drop on the seat or anything! And I shamefully had to carry it with me out the bus when we arrived at our destination. However, my football team was super impressed and a week later the captain was like, “how did you do that?! I tried it in the shower and I couldn’t aim well enough.” lol.
“You know what, I think you should get some tiger balm and put it on your clit and labia on the toilet so that I’m with you while you are hanging out with your friends. And send me a picture after you’ve put it on.”
Of course, she wanted me to be naked in the picture which felt a bit awkward because I didn’t know when or if my friends were going to walk into my room (had to be in my room for the mirror). You people keep on saying that it didn’t happen without a picture so here’s me again, juuuust naked, lol. Isn’t this getting boring by now?
She wanted to know a bit about my friends and then asked me if I fancied either of them. Somehow she’d been thinking I might, as she also asked me previously if I fancied either of the two friends I had on my course. The answer to all of them was no, they were just my friends. I don’t know if it would have made a difference if they weren’t but all of them were straight.
Lois had an idea she wanted to discuss with me. The idea was that I would pick the friend I felt least close to and take an item from their luggage and to do something humiliating with it, like worn knickers or a sock. And to then rub my wet pussy on it, smell it, do it again, then lick it.
I did not like this idea. It had nothing to do with the effect it would have on me but it felt way too intrusive. They hadn’t consented to this and… Well, I couldn’t imagine if they found out. One of them is a little bit judgy (though she always listens to me and changes her views because she respects my opinion a lot. So I’m sure that she would if I told her I was into kink, though it might take a while haha). But she’s also religious and doesn’t want to have sex before marriage (she has been with her boyfriend for over 5 years though and he isn’t religious!)
I said that I’d do it however because I couldn’t disobey her… And I guessed it might be okay if it was a used sock because it would get washed and I would probably be the one doing their laundry anyway because they were my guests? But I wanted to know what the purpose was because I didn’t get it.
She wanted to see if it would arouse me and of course, she would enjoy seeing me do it- humiliating myself like that. Grrr.
I asked her if she wanted me to do it now and she preferred if I did but at that moment they had somehow decided to get up and dress. Maybe they knew lol.
“What would you think if I would only ever pee in your mouth and you drink al of it when we are together?”
Erm… Good question, lol. I settled on saying that I would do it first, manage to cope with it and decide how I would feel about it afterwards. Don’t question it and obey, that’s how this works! And that’s how I actually feel about it. If that’s what she wanted I’d just have to learn and live with it. I would hate it but I would serve her and make her happy so win-lose?
Lois also wanted me to start thinking of what Fetlife picture we should take next and honestly, I had no idea. Nowadays it would have been no problem for me to think of a picture but back then I was clueless. She didn’t need an answer right that minute though but said to keep in mind that it would be good to push boundaries. I remarked that none of the pictures on Fetlife felt like we had pushed boundaries.
“The hot sauce, you and the elastic bands, on cam, drinking pee.”
Okay, maybe there were a few things with which we had pushed my boundaries lol.
“Maybe you could wear your friend’s worn underwear for a full day, surely she would not notice?”
Eeeeerm now that’s pushing a boundary! A privacy boundary!
My friends and I then went to town and I left the task for later that day. I snuck into their room when they were in the living room but couldn’t find anything before I panicked, scared one of them would come and fled. Knowing I had to though, I returned a bit later. Lois wasn’t online anymore so this was my after report:
I went back into the room to try and find underwear again… this sounds… lol.
And I haven’t found any so a sock with have to do…
I did not expect to feel such a strong feeling of not wanting to do this.
Reading the task again now, I realise that smelling it the first time would be smelling her, and then by rubbing it in my pussy it’ll smell like me in some way after… which feels kind of like I’m claiming my territory lol.
I’m clearly procrastinating this task by writing all of this.
It didn’t smell as strongly as I expected it to. Like, I didn’t associate it with feet right away so I put my nose in it a bit longer and then it definitely smelled like feet. Bit unpleasant.
It feels like I’m a bit tense? Tense is not the right word. But that seems to be causing some arousal? Maybe that’s because you set this task though. I’m not actually wet so the sock didn’t get very wet.
“I’m so sorry”, is what I thought just before the sock touched my pussy. Then I just tried to do it and get on with it but it feels wrong to do. I’m not feeling humiliated at all.
After rubbing my pussy with it, it smelled, as expected like me, but then I could also smell the sock again which made it kind of a weird mixture. Licking it is just… eh, licking clothing is. strange.
I think it would be humiliating if my friend wanted me to do this and were watching me. But this just feels weird and uncomfortable.
And that was the end of that.