Seven Days in April ~ Day 3

Buy the entire bundle of the Seven Days in April Diaries here.

This is day 3 of a week of diary entries I wrote at the start of April, in collaboration with other bloggers I was asked to partake in by May Moore for her online publication. I’ve been struggling (as I’m sure many of you have) with finding a way to cope with the current Covid situation. The seriousness of it all hit home extra hard when my best friend caught it badly while his dad also landed on IC and I found that writing this diary helped at least a little. I’ve been a bit scared of sharing this but I think it’s important to as I hope it’ll show people that they’re not alone in their struggle or anxiety, even if our struggles are different.

April 3rd, 2020

For every step she takes my body tenses. I try not to look at the door but I can’t help it; it’s as if I’m afraid that she’ll burst in even though I know she won’t. Instead, she’s going to go out to meet her friend and by this point, I feel both anxious that she’s in the house and would like her to leave and feel anxious that she’s going to leave. Please don’t leave, is the thought my mind settles on. She walks past my room, then again and pauses. I wonder if she’s considering to say bye. Don’t you dare say bye. As if this is normal. Like how we usually tell each other when we’re leaving. She walks away and a few seconds later the door falls closed in its lock.

I decide that I too have to leave the house, though it’s to get my medication, which has been ready for me for the past three days. I’d been considering if I really need it, as it’s to solve my constipation issues for which I’ve had to use an enema every few days instead. The reason why I’m afraid of this virus is because I know the NHS might not be able to help me if I get really sick. I mean, that’s why it’s so important that we’re social distancing right now. But also, we need toilet paper and somehow I’m anxious that they will have nothing in stock and I’ll have to find a different way to wipe my butt. Maybe I’m just anxious about it because my flatmate is making me so anxious right now.

It’s not just that she’s making me anxious though. I’m also really angry. Somehow I very specifically remember Boris Johnson say, “Do not go out to meet your friends.” How can she go out to meet her friend just because she feels like she has the right to do this over everyone else? What makes her so special? There are so many people who have to go out to try and save other peoples lives while putting themselves at risk. My university specifically wrote to its students and urged us to go home if we could in order to protect the local community, as we have a lot of elderly people. She chose to stay and is now deciding to go out, disregarding the fact that she puts people at risk because she, as she put it, thought about it, concluded she is not doing any harm and would never purposefully harm someone, and should, therefore, be trusted. Well, what about purposefully taking that unnecessary risk?

A friend of mine suggests I should call the police and I have to admit that it crossed my mind before. Maybe there’s an option to do it online because I’m too scared to actually call but when I go onto the site, I somehow decide to ring the number.

What’s my name? Can I spell that? And my number? What about her name? And her number? My hand is shaking as I’m holding the phone and it’s difficult for me to keep my voice even. I wonder if this is the right thing to do or if I’m exaggerating. I say that I don’t think my flatmate means to harm anyone but that she doesn’t understand the severity of the situation. They tell me they’ll call her and won’t say it was me but she’ll know. Twenty minutes later I hear a knock on the door.

She looks surprised when I tell her there are people here for her, probably thinking that it’s her friend or a package she’s forgotten about. I wait in the hallway as they explain to her that the rules have changed and that she’s not allowed to meet anyone outside of her household now. They say that they understand that it’s confusing and just wanted to make sure that she’s aware. When they leave, she turns to me and says that I shouldn’t have called, that she showered when she got home and that there was no harm in meeting someone who actually… Who actually what? She doesn’t finish her sentence. She says that she gets why no one can live with me; that I should live on my own to sort myself out.

Although this is just one entry, it is part of a bigger diary project, ‘Seven Days in April,‘ which can now be bought on Amazon in the UK here and in the US here.

For other snippets of this diary, see:

Missy began the seven days with her post, which can be found here
Jae followed up with day 2, which can be found here
HisLordShip published his day 4 diary entry here
Sweetgirl published her day 5 diary entry here
Posy published her day 6 entry here
May finished the week with her day 7 entry here

Xx Marie Louise

33 Replies to “Seven Days in April ~ Day 3”

  1. collaredmichael

    Did she really go out? She certainly doesn’t get it. It must have been very hard to call about her. But you did the right thing. Unfortunately it will hurt your relationship with her—at least in the short term. Stay well Mary Louise!

    Reply
    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      Oh god you have no idea about the drama before she went out and then the drama after she went out… The short story, ‘we are no longer friends’ ‘I am moving out by the end of this month’ (me thinking, sure… you know you’re in a contract right? This contract applies as much to you as to everyone else just like the rules for this lockdown lol) which she found out and then was like ‘you should pay my rent because it is your fault I have to move out for calling the police, you ruined this friendship.’ – by which point I said, ‘you think it’s friendship to go out and risk my safety when you full well knew what you were doing?’
      and she was like ‘I didn’t know, now the Spotify ads tell me’
      which is bullshit because we had a few arguments about it, as well as conversations, as well as I showed her the rules and all that.
      But anyway, I then said she could go and call he landlord because I had nothing to do with her moving out shit so she did and he told her what I’d been telling her lol and I think she is still moving out regardless. I really hope she is.

      Reply
        • MLSlavePuppet Post author

          Yep, that’s gonna be her. She’s from America but works in a shoe shop here, so is getting paid still now, which is absolutely great. The government did take care of some money issues for people but then she messaged me to ask if we could strike over rent. Which is ridiculous considering we are still living here, have the exact same amount of money as before so ??? (this was before the police thing ofc) but how can you be so selfish?

          Reply
  2. askmefast

    I have so many thoughts when I read your post. I felt your anxiousness when you called to report her. it sounds like the Police handled the situation well. As Michael said, I also think it will impact of your relationship with her. Some people are so selfish that they can’t see see beyound themselves. Her remark was also very cruel. I really hope the reality dawns on her after some time of reflection. you’re a good person and my thoughts are with you.

    Reply
    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      Thank you. I just replied to Michaels comment about the ‘friendship’ that no longer exists haha. This hasn’t been the first instance of selfishness, which is probably why I really stopped giving a fuck when it got to this. Her remark therefore, has also left me cold as it has nothing to do with me personally. It has everything to do with her instead.
      Thank you for saying that I’m a good person though. I do sometimes doubt this! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she is moving out!

      Reply
  3. May More

    Wow ML – that was such a dreadful day for you to go through – I really felt your anxiety as I read your words – TY s so much for sharing this.
    I do hope things have improved for u now
    xx

    Reply
  4. Sweetgirl

    Wow. So many people are not getting it. I think you dealt with it very well and the anxiety it caused you too.

    Thanks for sharing, take care

    Sweetgirl x

    Reply
  5. Posy Churchgate

    Ohhh tough call (pun intended) but you did the right thing. It is hard for some people to see, because the threat is so intangible. Many people don’t listen to the news or read the papers and seem to have a problem translating their messages to themselves /their situation – your flatmate being such a one.

    I’m sorry you were pushed into doing that. Now you have the discomfort of living with her while she is simmering with fury and imagined injustice. Poor you – you did the right thing and she is wrong in so many ways but will probably never admit it.
    Police handled it very well. Neighbours of mine are still going out and meeting people – I see others when I take the dog out and it’s obvious they don’t live in the same house. I’m lucky that I don’t share airspace with them.

    Brave, sensible ML – hugs.

    Reply
  6. missy

    Wow ML it must have been really hard to call but I think you did the right thing. It sounds like a horrid situation to be in and I hope that you can resolve things a bit. Your anxiety in the post really came across and I am so pleased that you shared it with us. I look forward to reading the rest of your diary

    Reply
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  9. Marie Rebelle

    Oh my, I can totally understand your anger towards her, because what she did is just not right. I get so angry at people not understanding how serious this is. I didn’t either in the beginning, but once things started closing down and those numbers started rising, I have been inside. Working from home. Keeping my distance when out (once a week – we are not in full lockdown). Some people seem to think this will just blow over, but I think it will be months before there is any kind of normalcy again. Take care, ML.

    Rebel xox

    Reply
    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      I think we all were surprised by how serious it ended up being and who can blame us, as the government kept saying that only old people had to worry, that it was just like the flu etc.

      The silly thing is that she went to the shop 3 weeks ago and then was so anxious about the virus that she had nightmares every night to the point that she would just stay awake to avoid them so it made 0 sense to me that she would then not take it seriously anymore a few days later.

      I heard that you indeed aren’t in full lockdown from my dad but he’s doing exactly the same as yo are. Stay safe! xx

      Reply
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  14. jupitergrant

    That’s a very difficult situation to be put in, but for what it’s worth, I reckon I would have done the same. It infuriates me that people can be so selfish as to think “well, I’ll be alright, fuck everyone else”, which is blunt but essentially what they are doing. Same with the dickhead protesters in the US. On the one hand I think “fuck the lot of them, let them get it, but they should have to sign a waiver saying they forfeit medical treatment when they inevitably get sick. But the thing is, it isn’t about them, it’s the innocent people that they will infect. Honestly, it’s not that fricking difficult to stay inside for a few weeks if it comes down to the difference between life and death for people.

    Sorry, I get ranty about it. But long story short, I admire you for being willing to speak up. Who knows who else you may have protected by having that courage? And as far as your flatmate goes, it sounds like you are well shot of her!

    Reply
    • MLSlavePuppet Post author

      Honestly, thank you for saying that. It also feels like there is so much judgement from people who don’t take it seriously. Like this is going to be the once in a lifetime thing that could kill a lot of people and could kill you, if you’re unlucky but it’s an actual real threat so why would you take any chances? Why would you take that choice away from other people if you end up infecting them? This is going to be a few weeks or months and at most a year in your life where you just have to adjust for a little while, in order to have all those other years in which you can live freely like always. Rant away haha, we are definitely on the same page!
      And thank you. I don’t regret it. Thankfully my flatmate is leaving on the 1st of May and I CANNOT WAIT!

      Reply
      • jupitergrant

        I absolutely agree with you. It’s a few weeks or months, and in the grand scheme of things, when it’s literally a matter of life and death, it seems like a small price to pay to just stay at home and protect each other. Excellent news that there’s not long until your flatmate leaves! xx

        Reply
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