Two weeks ago, I drove down to England for a spanking shoot with Sarah Stern and thought it might be the perfect opportunity to meet Rabbit in Manchester since it was essentially on the way. I’ve been following Rabbit on Twitter for a while because she seems to be a masochist in ways I can relate. Her content is exciting because she gets up to things I have sometimes never even thought of, like getting shot with paintballs! I’m not sure I would be brave enough to get hit by them voluntarily but sometimes it’s enough to live through someone else’s post vicariously.
Rabbit and I exchanged some messages in the past, so I didn’t go to meet a complete stranger. We’d talked about filming, just hanging out or doing some rope if we ever did meet up. We met on a Saturday evening and went to see the Barbie movie. Coincidentally, I missed a friend’s birthday in Glasgow who had organised to see the Barbie movie that day. I thought it was fitting that I would see it at the same time in Manchester and meeting up in the cinema with someone I’d never met before definitely helped break the ice. It felt like we vibed from the start. After the movie, Rabbit showed me a great Cocktail bar and I had the best time, especially as we ended up in the arcade afterwards. We’d both remarked that we don’t really like big crowds of people so frankly, this was my ideal night out!
I ended up staying over at Rabbit’s but had also planned to see another friend the next day. Before I left to meet her, Rabbit mentioned that we should do some tying the next time I’m up. Then as it got to Sunday evening post dinner with my friends, I texted Rabbit before I started driving home. “I could come back and we could do some rope tonight? No pressure though.”
While I had to work on Monday, I figured I wouldn’t get this opportunity often. Manchester is a little over 3 hours away from Glasgow and I was already here now. Plus, how often do I get the chance to be tied by an incredibly capable and talented woman who I also really like as a friend?
Getting out the ropes
Rabbit told me she used to be a bunny for a lot of different male riggers and felt frustrated about the lack of female ones. As a result, she decided to learn how to tie herself and fast forward several years later with ten hours of practice a week, Rabbit has become a pro. She can do some crazy self-suspension and I would highly recommend checking out her content. Rabbit described practising the art of shibari as an art form. It’s creative and expressive and that’s where her desire to tie other people comes from. For me, rope, like any kink play, does not necessarily have to be sexual (and most often is not) and I love the beauty and art that can be created with it.
I wouldn’t say I’d ever been properly suspended by ropes in the way I’d pictured it. Incidentally, the first time I met anyone on the kink scene I tried some experimental suspension with a rigger who was designing his own ties. He suspended me by my ankles/legs, which was really hard to hold for a long time. There wasn’t much playfulness to this, as it wasn’t really a scene and while it was interesting and I don’t regret it, I don’t think I would have done it again with the knowledge and experience I have now.
Rabbit asked me what kind of chocolate I like in preparation for aftercare and asked me what sort of things I’m okay with doing while being tied, such as impact play, scratching and biting. She said that it was very important to have this chat now, as scenes can’t be renegotiated while someone is suspended. She also ran me through what might happen during the suspension. Like how getting a feeling of pins and needles is fine but that if I stopped being able to move any of my body parts I needed to let her know as soon as possible. I mentioned that I wasn’t sure I’d recognise the difference, as I didn’t think I’d ever experienced this before but she reassured me by letting me know she’d check in and then reiterated that the feeling of not being able to move would be potent enough not to miss. The most important thing, she said, was that I would communicate with her. Upon hearing this, a small doubt crept into my mind. What if I would fail to be able to communicate? No – you know how to use words, Mila. Don’t start doubting yourself now!
“Should I undress?” I asked awkwardly after all preparations had been made despite the fact that we must both be naked for work and private play all the time.
She seemed amused in a way that she might have related years ago but also wasn’t bothered at all – this is normal for us both – which made me relax.
I kept my underwear on, which very unsuitably was not sexy in the slightest (for potential pictures!) as I didn’t think anyone would see my comfortable underwear when I dressed in the morning. Rabbit laughed and said she could relate, which made me feel better about it.
Rabbit has a bamboo frame set up for suspension in her conservatory. During the day, it allows for a lot of natural light and I can imagine it’s a dream set up for pictures. Tonight it was already dark and raining though. I laid down a carpet underneath the bamboo pole while Rabbit put the pets in a different room and turned on some music on her phone.
I think she might have started by tying my arms while I was still on the floor. It was a really fun and chill atmosphere as Rabbit was singing and moving along to the songs of her playlist while engaging with the tie, clearly in her element with one of her creative crafts. I felt relaxed and like I didn’t have to worry about anything other than enjoying this experience. At the same time, I felt super excited. Picture a fangirl not wanting to let her idol know that she’s fangirling internally. That’s not me, I promise. But oh my god I was about to get suspended by Rabbit, a gorgeous woman who’s clever, funny and kind and really seems to know what she’s doing and she actually wants to tie me?! Imagine a slow animation of my mind being blown while the fantasy and reality aligned.
Rabbit said that she’d start with a half suspension to ease me in, which I appreciated. I watched her tie the ropes and pull them over the bamboo when suddenly my leg was lifted off the floor, just as the song in the background said something about feet being lifted off the ground. It seemed so perfectly timed that I thought it had to be planned!
Being half suspended made me feel like I had a level of control even though my arms were tied behind my back and I definitely couldn’t get out of this myself. Rabbit seemed to be in her own world, her face often one of pure concentration as she tied while alternating between relaxation as she vibed along to the music. At the same time, her focus was present with me – or whichever body part she was planning to tie next. It felt like she was thinking about absolutely everything while the tying moved at a speed I couldn’t quite keep track of.
It was nice to watch her do her thing and see her expressions change. Sometimes the concentration on her face turned into a smile; the bratty and/or sadistic type, as an idea seemed to take shape in her mind. Then she’d look at me as if to say I know just what to do with you and you might enjoy it… or not and then her smile grew wider. I felt like I knew exactly what she was thinking without having a single clue of what she actually had in mind. Seeing her smile like that made my bratty side come out (internally, that is) because let’s be honest, what could I possibly do while at the mercy of her ropes.
Once I’d been lifted off the floor, Rabbit blindfolded me. While I initially thought it’d be sad that I wouldn’t be able to see what was going on anymore (ever the hyper-vigilant observer), having my sight taken away changed all the sensations. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling my body being so present. Suddenly I felt every inch of my body, from fingertip to toe. I stopped thinking about how Rabbit might be feeling and instead, felt the weight of my body and the rough ridges of the rope. I was amazed by how a blindfold could so instantly change my experience and perception. Still, at first, my head naturally seemed to turn towards where the volume of the music was coming from, as I was intellectually aware that Rabbit was walking around with her phone. However, the more time passed, the less oriented I felt and the more present in my body I became.
In between the changing of positions, Rabbit did some light spanking and scratching with me. It felt like gentle and lighthearted play, yet very different from the usual as I was hanging upside-down, which changed the sensations in and of itself. The interactions and fun we seemed to have made me feel very alive!
Loss of Feeling
Every now and then Rabbit checked if I could still squeeze her hands. Since I was a little worried about potentially not recognising the loss of feeling in my limbs, I continuously tried to move my fingers too. Then at some point, I thought I couldn’t move my left hand anymore. I told her and she checked. When she asked me to squeeze her hand, I certainly couldn’t feel my hand moving.
Rabbit first untied something that she might have thought was the biggest pressure point. I don’t think that one gave the desired relief, (and in hindsight, I think I would be able to identify the right pressure point), but Rabbit very skilfully managed to undo the arm part of the tie within a few minutes without ending the scene. Once they were out and I was mostly hanging by my legs, Rabbit squeezed my arms repeatedly to help get the blood flowing back in. Quickly after, the feeling in my arms returned and I was able to move both my hands again. She said this was exactly the level of communication that is required and I felt relieved. Phew, I am capable. I mean, I guess I knew this but it’s reassuring to know that it’s actually true!
After giving my arms a little break, she told me to put my hands in front of my eyes. “Like the monkey emoji!” I exclaimed, which made her laugh and say that she’d not thought of that one before. (See a video of this here.)
She tied my hands to my face, which felt kind of unnatural but (after seeing the pictures) looked absolutely beautiful. The spanking got a bit harder, while she tickled me at times and pushed me gently to make me swing. It felt so good to be hanging there. The pain of the suspension felt invigorating, while the playfulness of the other elements brought me joy. I liked hearing her laugh while continuing to sing along to the music and having a good time.
As I was hanging there, it felt like my chest was too small to hold the bright light I felt brimming inside of me.
Eventually, one of my feet stopped being able to move similarly to how my hand had. I told her again, but for some reason, it concerned me more this time. I guess I knew she would get me out quickly enough while she was trying to not end the tie abruptly, but this particular pressure point felt like it kept getting tighter, and it worried me more for some reason. However, once Rabbit lowered me and finished the tie my legs were fine in an instant, much faster than my arms had been. In hindsight, having some experience now, I wouldn’t worry as much again.
While I was lying on the floor with some rope still attached, I couldn’t possibly begin to describe how incredible this had been. My body was shaking a lot and I felt very conscious of it even though I know it was only natural after such a scene. Rabbit offered me three different bars of chocolate from which I picked one and after tidying up some rope she took me in for a hug. The hug felt like exactly what I needed, and I thought of how nice it was that I didn’t need to ask.
After some time, Rabbit asked me what seemed like the most random question to me: “How do you like milk?”
In what context? In my tea? As a drink on its own? Pure milk? What are you talking about? “Um… I don’t dislike it?”
“Do you have one more suspension in you?”
Yes, obviously! I mean, I am feeling a bit tired but I would love to do another one. “Yes!”
This time, the suspension was far less gradual than the first. Rather than starting with one leg on the floor, Rabbit lifted me up fully by my hips and legs and within seconds the position changed from me being upright to Rabbit telling me to: “Just relax into it.”
I don’t think I could have hidden my sudden fear if I’d tried but there was no time for that – One, two, three – I let myself fall into the rush of adrenaline; the feeling of falling from a building in a dream; immediately followed by the relief and sharp agony of ropes digging into my skin. I gasped for air as I felt the full weight of my body dangle in the ropes. But once I relaxed into it, breathed in and focused on the pain, it simply washed over me like a wave.
Things are a little bit hazy after this. I remember Rabbit telling me to open my mouth so she could pour some milk into it but I don’t know if she called me a good girl or if my mind fabricated that. It was odd seeing her pour the milk over my body, as I braced myself for the potential wet and unpleasant feeling but actually, I barely noticed it.
I very clearly remember when Rabbit put on her boxing gloves. Momentarily, time seemed to slow and I felt the entire shape of my body, enough to picture what it might look like from the outside, while simultaneously feeling absolutely helpless and at the mercy of Rabbit, who by this point, I clearly trusted very much. I glanced backwards under my arms to see an upside down view of Rabbit fastening the hand wraps of her boxing gloves. I felt a slight sense of apprehension – the good kind – but oh my!
Suddenly she stood behind me. I closed my eyes to brace myself. She hit me on the bottom.
Did you know that getting hit by boxing gloves doesn’t actually hurt? Of course, it doesn’t. Duh! The gloves are massive cushions; it only looks scary!
The punch moves the object though… causing friction from the rope. Every punch made me painfully aware of the weight that every single strand of rope was holding up. It burned around my hips so badly that holding my breath couldn’t prevent me from making a noise. Yet at the same time, it made me feel so alive. My brain felt caught in between thoughts of wanting to beg for it to stop and never wanting it to stop at all.
I didn’t really know how to verbalise any of this when she asked me what it felt like. I will have probably said something along the lines of “fine,” my famous non-descript answer, which does mean I’m coping.
I can’t describe what Rabbit changed about the tie after this, but it fluidly went from one position to another. That, and another moment of Oh my god – I am falling?! before agonisingly feeling even more of my body weight held up by the rope. It took my breath away, as my neck and back were arched even more now. I literally could do nothing more than wait for Rabbit to decide what’s next. Hanging there upside down felt exhilarating and I also understood why Rabbit said before that you kind of need a masochist for these kinds of things.
Rabbit told me when she was about to let me come down but I still had another Shit, I’m falling! moment before sighing in relief upon feeling the carpet.
I was feeling a lot of things and nothing at the same time like I had a sense of peacefulness in my mind while having a smile on my face (although maybe that’s not true – I didn’t see what my face looked like!)
She offered me chocolate but I didn’t really want any. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what kind of aftercare I needed so she suggested I get a hoodie to get warm while she cleaned away the ropes. Part of me was thinking about the logistics of maybe trying to drive home tonight. Mind you, it had been raining non-stop for days, it was past midnight and the drive would take 3 hours at least.
Once we’d gotten upstairs under a blanket in a bed, I decided to stay over. She asked me if I wanted a hug and suddenly, it became incredibly clear what I’d been needing.
She put on a light-hearted series while going through the pictures and videos of the rope scenes on her phone. All the while, I was leaning against her while she kept one arm around me to hold me close. I felt so safe and relaxed and looked after. If it wasn’t for my need to drive home early in the morning, I would have stayed until we’d both fallen asleep. But after finishing one episode I knew I needed to be surrounded by quiet to properly sleep. After all, work and the real world was waiting for me the next day, but the short night and last-minute morning leave request was absolutely worth getting tied for by Rabbit. And guess what, I’ll soon get to be her rope bunny again!
We are also planning to film together and would really like to do one with matching chastity belts. Someone already bought hers, so please buy me one if you’d like to see that video!