Note: All the following Lois posts were written over a year ago. They’re all done and ready to be published. I think there’s about 15 left till we reach the end of that dynamic.
Five days after Lois had me insert keys into my vagina, lip balm in my butt and sit on the edge of a table my clit still felt numb. She came online and asked me how it / and I was feeling. The outside of my vagina was very slowly starting to feel normal again but even that still had the lingering feeling of pins and needles.
She had an idea of something we could do as a sign to show how good of a slave I am (something with needles…) However, I didn’t have any so I suggested I could go buy some, as the town is very close.
She told me that I was allowed to wear one single piece of clothing and shoes.
I was already wearing a dress, with only a thong underneath so I took off my underwear, quite happily, really. It felt nice being able to do this for her and it felt a little naughty and exciting to go out without underwear. It had been a long time since I’d done that.
I felt happy as I was cycling to town and appreciated how I was able to do this without much anxiety by now. When I had cycled to town the other day in this dress, the wind had blown the dress up all the way, exposing everything, but I didn’t worry about this now. If it had happened, I guess I would have felt embarrassed but I would have also been amused. It didn’t happen though.
Instead, it hurt my vagina to cycle into town and after about five minutes, I got ‘flashbacks’ of sitting on the edge of the table, lol. In town, I went to two shops to buy needles and an antiseptic and I was back home within 30 minutes.
Back home when I showed Lois the needles I felt good. The entire day, I’d been struggling with a headache and dizziness because I’d slept so poorly, which didn’t mean I was feeling bad mentally, but I wasn’t feeling good. Talking to her and doing things for her brought me some peace; it felt good; I didn’t have to think about anything else.
She asked me if I had any nice tight dresses with me, which coincidentally I did. Dad had gone shopping with me for my birthday and paid for two dresses. I showed her both and she liked the one I thought she might. She asked me to pull the dress down over my boobs so they’d be out and wanted me to wear my heels and said: “I want to see that humiliating look on you.”
Pulling down the dress and taking a picture aroused me, but it was more what she’d said. The fact she wanted to see it on me the difference.
I felt a little embarrassed and a little slutty because I was enjoying it (which I apparently seem to link with slutty? I don’t think I’ve felt slutty before). I liked the picture taken too. It was followed by another picture with the bottom of the dress pulled up.
The whole thing felt nice to do. It was a little embarrassing but in a good way. I think it felt like I could be my good little slave self… or something. And I seem to enjoy being naked or exposed (in private) too so this was something I’d embraced.
It only made me wet though. Not super wet, while usually in the past, doing things like this made me dripping wet.
I wondered if this had anything to do with my recovering pussy.
She told me to touch my clit for a while to see if anything in terms of feeling would change and while it wasn’t as numb as it had been right after sitting on the edge of the table part of it still felt numb. It was the part where it would usually give pleasure, while the top part gave the burning stingy feeling.
She wanted me to turn on the webcam and told me to put the inflatable butt plug and the insertable vibrator in. It’s awkward for me to insert this butt plug as it’s not sturdy at all. I tend to push small parts in at a time by pushing it inside along with my finger, which felt quite humiliating on cam. The vibrator was easier to insert but hurt a lot more.
Naturally, I had to turn the vibrator on and inflate the butt plug a few times and then a few more times until she was satisfied. Then she told me to take attractive pictures of myself while she was watching.
Gone was my good feeling about the tasks.
“Embarrassing, isn’t it?” she said.
I had essentially been frozen in place. The thought of having to think of what position would be nice instantly made me dissociate. I used to have this a lot in my vanilla life when I was talking to people; I used to be so anxious about not being good enough that my mind would instantly go blank and so I’d have nothing to say.
That’s exactly what happened here; I felt so anxious about potentially doing it wrong that my mind instantly went blank. I tried to think of the positions I’d once learned or pictures I’d taken in the past but it just…
I asked Lois if my usual position was okay and then started with this one. (Habit beats anxiety!) but then after that one, I didn’t know… I just…
So I crouched down and went back to our video chat and said that I didn’t know what to do. As a result, she told me to inflate the butt plug 5 more times and try again. I’d like to stress that this butt plug inflates way too far for my poor butt hole to handle it!
I semi remembered another position… one that had been my initial favourite of crossing the legs but then my mind was empty again. I looked at myself… and looked at myself some more. I kind of didn’t like what I was seeing anymore.
I walked to the other side of the room so I would be off the webcam and rested my head against the wall. I told myself to calm down. It was fine… just think of a pose… I mean I’d taken so many pictures of myself by now, surely that should mean I could remember a few different poses?
Lois told me to inflate the butt plug 5 more times. I felt a bit like an object as if I might as well have been a mini sex doll. Like my thoughts and feelings didn’t currently matter and I needed to simply do what she told me.
I moved back to the mirror and stared at myself some more. Then I walked to the other corner, off-camera again; I wasn’t sure what to do and staring at myself only made it worse. It crossed my mind that I was closer to crying now than I had been when sitting on the edge of the table.
Lois told me to inflate the butt plug 5 more times.
Inflating the butt plug is such a strange feeling. I mean it’s literally like blowing up a balloon inside of you and the butt plug eventually affects the vibrator and vice versa.
I couldn’t really cope with the feeling. I tend to go completely still when I don’t cope, so I guess that’s what also happened then. I was so focused on the pain of the butt plug that I didn’t even notice that the vibrator had come out until a few seconds later.
O god… I thought… now it has to go back in… while the plug is super inflated…
At first, it felt like I couldn’t even find the opening and then when I started pushing, the butt plug inside of me actively started pushing back.
I knew I had to just push it all the way through at once if I wanted to manage this so with a lot… a lot of pain it went back in, after which I needed another small moment before I could get up to get the rope to secure it this time.
After I’d done this I said that I assumed I now had to go back and take the pictures and the answer was yes. If I wouldn’t, the plug would have to be inflated some more.
So there I went… staring at the mirror again. I vaguely remembered another position with one arm up, but I couldn’t remember anything else, like how the legs or the rest of the body would have to be. I tried it, hated it, and stepped away from the mirror and the webcam again.
It went like this for a little while and Lois told me to inflate the plug 3 more times. I went back and still didn’t manage so she told me to inflate it 3 more times and… well I was crouching over… couldn’t cope with this.
Lois: “Do you think you can cope with more?”
Me: “no Mistress”
“Then better take those pictures.”
I didn’t think her threat could make a difference but it did. It wasn’t because I couldn’t take any more, because I already thought I couldn’t take any more 2 sets of new inflation ago.
And 2 sets ago, I had already thought: I have to do it now because I can’t cope with another. I’ll have to take the pictures eventually anyway so I might as well do it now when it’s still doable. But these thoughts didn’t help. They weren’t strong enough, somehow because as soon as I faced the mirror, my anxiety was stronger. But when Lois said it, I felt like I had to because otherwise, this meant that I would have failed, as this was the last correction she could make.
So I inflated the butt plug and felt like I was dying. Unlike using hot sauce or something, these things inside do something in the entirety of my body and it makes it very hard to also do another task at the same time. Especially moving was extra challenging as it changes the sensations of the plugs inside. I hate it and am also intrigued by it (damn my curiosity). (I mean, I’d taken these two toys with me on holiday because of my intrigue for the effect they could have when combined, but I sure as hell regret bringing these when this became the task.
I got up and walked back to the mirror. Okay, I thought… just do whatever, it doesn’t matter if it looks horrible. I tried the one with the arm up, which… terrible. And then I very very vaguely remembered another one with a hand on my lower stomach or something? That one was even worse… but at least… they’d been taken now.
Lois suggested we could try the thing with the needles now to distract me from the pain. I felt worried about not being able to focus enough, but she reassured me and I trusted her; it would be fine. However, we didn’t have a lot of time, so instead, she told me to get under the bed, which was quite difficult because I couldn’t position the webcam so that she could actually see because it was too dark.
I was shaking from the feeling of the vibrator and plug inside of me by then. I dreaded having to do this. I was worried about how much longer I was able to cope and we had an hour left before time was up.
So anyway, I pushed myself under the bed… It wasn’t super easy and it kind of felt like my butt was too big, lol… which I didn’t think I’d ever say. As I managed I ended up in a carpet of dust.
I didn’t really know how to feel while being under the bed. It was fine. It was kind of spacious. But I liked that it was kind of weird, or I guess it’s like being put away in a box? (Although I don’t think I could mentally cope with being put away in a box unless I knew my Mistress was right next to it to monitor me.)
She asked me how I felt and said I was allowed to get out and take everything out. She said it was good to see that I could push myself and that I’d done very well.
I was a bit surprised. I don’t think I realised she had noticed I was struggling quite a bit and as a result, I had told myself that I wasn’t struggling that much either. Now I was relieved and happy. It’s done!
I felt light-headed afterwards, but good in a submissive way. I mentioned that it felt strange though because I definitely struggled to cope with the two things inside of me but it also somehow seemed like it should be so simple to cope with.
Lois and I both had other things to attend to then but afterwards, I could feel my vagina sting with the pins and needle without me having to touch it; the feeling was simply there. However, the after pain doesn’t bother me and while it’s a bit uncomfortable I like the reminder; I like knowing that I suffered and did it for her.
Being able to serve is a gift that keeps on giving.
PS: Lois told me that I wasn’t allowed to wear any underwear from now on until I was able to squirt. So from the day of sitting on the edge of a table, it took 2 weeks and 5 days before I managed to squirt and get back to wearing underwear.