About two weeks ago, I started a daily vaginal training task that Mistress has given me. As you all know, I don’t like vaginal penetration and tend to avoid it if I can. Insertion generally hurts me, no matter how small the object. I would never even use tampons for example and I think it’s save to say I probably have vaginismus. Mistress likes things that I dislike, however, and in turn, I like it when she likes me to do things that I dislike. Thus, Mistress proposed I start training vaginally so that she’ll eventually be able to use a strap on on me. Not only will this be a great way for me to show my devotion to her (doing something that I dislike consistently, just to please her) but it will also give her access to something that’s very exclusive, as I would not let anyone else penetrate me vaginally.
I have attempted to train myself vaginally before when the catfish told me to. Back then, the aim would be to do use a dildo for 10 minutes a day, every day. It didn’t work very well because I would lose motivation after about 4 days and skip a few before attempting again. Additionally, it simply hurt too much and we didn’t have daily checkins so eventually I just stopped.
I have also tried training myself vaginally for my Mistress before, several months ago. With my previous expense in mind, she said I only needed to do it 5 days out of 7 and there was no set time I had to do it for. I managed to keep this up for about 3 weeks until she had to borrow my wand and I didn’t feel able to arouse myself enough prior to insertion. As a result, I started doing it less and less and when she never brought it up again, I assumed the practise was no longer relevant. We didn’t have any daily check-ins either.
This time around, I told Mistress that it would help me if there was a daily check in so it would feel like what I am doing has a purpose. She suggested for me to send her a video everyday (and share it on my Onlyfans) and to slowly build up towards 10 minutes. If I could add 10 seconds everyday that would be enough. This task is not about how quickly I can manage and instead about being able to manage it eventually.
Naturally, I started this task with my smallest dildo which is only 5 inch’s small. Before inserting it, I used my wand to arouse myself and then applied a generous amount of lube to the dildo. Once it was in, I put my wand aside and started moving it in and out. It hurt a little but was surprisingly alright. The first video lasted about two minutes and since then I have slowly worked up to reaching 10 minutes, which all in all has only taken me about two weeks.
Every day, it’s been really helpful that Mistress asked me to take a video, as it holds me accountable. There have been several days on which I might have not done it otherwise because the thought of the task was slightly off putting to start with. On days that my mental health is not doing well, inserting a dildo is also the last thing I want to do. But every time I start and complete the task I actually feel better because I’ve done something useful (in some way) and I know I’m actively pleasing my Mistress.
Insertion without foreplay
While I had already started my vaginal training, I went to The Netherlands for a week and brought along my dildo and the wand. But on the first day when I prepared for the daily task I realised I didn’t bring a plug converter, which meant my wand was absolutely useless. In all fairness I could have probably bought a converter in the shop but I didn’t want to waste the money. Instead, I decided to just try it without and to my surprise it wasn’t all that bad. By this point I was starting to hit 6 minutes a day, and doing it barely still gave me a burning sensation. I bought some water based lube in a sex store and it made the experience even smoother (literally, ha).
The more days passed, the more I started noticing a feeling of arousal halfway through fucking myself. One moment I would feel a sense of pain, which would be followed by the thought of Mistress’ enjoyment and next I would feel a wave of arousal. Yet, unfortunately, vaginal stimulation would never be able to get me to an orgasm. I started craving stimulation on the outside. I wanted to have an orgasm. But while my wand was out of use, I knew I couldn’t get one.
I told Mistress about my frustration and she said she enjoyed the thought of it, which made me feel happy.
Then when I got back to Scotland and completed 10 minutes on video with the smallest dildo, I gave myself 4 orgasms with my wand, which felt so good! I had unintentionally edged myself and was now experiencing the reward.
6 Inch Dildo
I have now moved up to the 6 inch dildo, which still very much hurts when I first insert it. It’s not just the width that’s painful but the length feels like a bit of a shock. Surprisingly, it stops hurting after just a little while and moving it in and out isn’t too bad. I talked with Mistress about my orgasms and she said it would be better if I had one with the dildo inserted. That way, perhaps, I will start associating the practise more with pleasure, rather than pain.
As a result of the wand, it is way easier for me to keep penetrating myself for longer. The first video with the 6 inch dildo therefore was already 6 minutes. I guess it won’t take me too long to reach the 10 minutes but once I do I’ll have to move up yet another size and I have to admit I’m a little bit nervous about that one!
Then again, I am very excited for Mistress to be able to use a strap on on me. I think I’ll feel rather proud of myself once she can!
Follow my daily progress and vaginal insertion videos on my Onlyfans!