The Two Sides of Shame in Kink and BDSM

“Shame attends only where we are interested.” (p. 4) I came across this quote in Failing Desire by Karmen MacKendrick, a book I recently started reading due to my interest in kink and self-discovery (and on the recommendation by Roxy). Shame is no stranger to BDSM and so Failing Desire, which “draws on theology and queer theory to argue for the power of humiliating pleasures in a culture oriented very strongly to denying any enjoyment that is not about success,” seemed Continue Reading →

The Importance of LGBTQ Literature

In 2013 when I was seventeen, I came out as a lesbian. The road to this turning point had been long, confusing, and filled with self-hate. I remember the first time I had a crush on another girl. I was thirteen and my eyes had secretly started following her. She had long, brown, silky curls. Her face was full of freckles and she had proudly kept a childlike spirit that the rest of us felt we needed to shed after Continue Reading →

Old Ghosts Return

Content warning: dissociation, depression, suicidal thoughts. Before Covid-19 I walk into my Counsellor’s office and as we sit down we’re both smiling. There is a small, awkward silence; we never seem to know how to start these sessions so he asks me how I’m feeling. The answer to this question has mostly been the same for the past year. I don’t know; I’m not feeling much so he asks me where my awareness rests instead. I tend to notice when Continue Reading →

From ‘Innocent’ Girl to Obedient Slave

Mindset is an interesting thing. It is possible to talk about different kind of mindsets; mindset can mean whether or not you’re in the mood for sex, and mindset can mean your attitude. While it is called mind’set,’ a mindset is anything but set and can be changed as long as one is open to change and the mindset can be changed, for example, in slave/submissive training. I’m going to write about both of the mentioned kind of mindsets and Continue Reading →

Reclaiming Agency over Depression, Eliminating Bad Habits like comfort food

Depression has a lot of invisible to the outside world side-effects that I imagine people often feel ashamed about, and therefore walk around with it alone. I know I felt ashamed. I want to talk about bad habits that if not caused by, at the very least became stuck in my system as a result of depression. I think some of mine are universal, while others might be slightly more personal. I hope that sharing this might if you are Continue Reading →